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...Maybe Writing Would Help When You Feel Unfairly Treated...
Defining Unfairness is Personal
I believe unfairness is a judgement upon ourselves. Obviously there will be times when outright unfairness is in play via discrimination for one reason or another. Other times we are victims to our own perceptions of the definition of unfairness.
For example, I am dealing with a relationship in which I believe is unfair because I invest time and energy into it while the other person is oblivious to my investment. This is a personal drama to me, that on the outer edges, is unfair because why should I waste my precious time with someone who I FEEL does not value me or my presence?
There is the judgement - and it is self produced. It causes me pain, sadness, sorrow. What do I do with that? Most likely I would become angry and stuff it down, cover it up until little things grew bigger and worse and things got to a boiling point later on. Then I incorrectly channel the anger into a new future situation that is completely uncalled for and unneccesary.
So I have learned to take the anger of unfairness and use it to my advantage. I would go running or hiking and of course, writing. Writing is always my go to cure for such things, especially these days as things seem harder and more complicated than ever.
I know it is not just me. Everyone is struggling with something and some much more than others. Writing helps to soften the anger. It helps to channel the frustration out onto a safe place where my own personal expression can be the catalyst to dealing with whatever it is that is going on in a defused way. I can ask myself questions and eventually find answers within my own words.
As I had often heard growing up, I am "so sensitive" or "too sensitive" or "take things too personally"... So, maybe thats true but everyone has feelings and those statements alone are unfair. No one else knows the depth of anothers feelings or why they feel and react a certain way. When we take the power of our emotions of feeling unfairly treated and give them a place to BREATHE on the PAGE...it helps us remove ourselves from taking things personally and seeing it in concrete may help us better deal with the issues that generate these feelings.
What If I Don't Want To Write?
I know there are people out there saying "Yeah, okay, maybe for her it is good to write. But what about me? What can I do?"
B R E A T H E.
Take a few moments (and I mean three moments) and breathe in and out. On the first one, congratulation yourself for remembering to do so. Breathe out with relief that you can diffuse any situation this way. Walk away from whatever or whoever if it is possible. If you can't, just breathe. Deeply. You are doing it anyway. Do it deeper. It is a physical prompt allowing you to derail and retrain yourself to deal with things literally with more air and space to FEEL and SEE clearly.
This is your starting point. You can really learn a lot from this simple practice. Try it, over and over until it becomes a way for you to get control of your emotions and feelings. Then judge whats happening. Question it and release it. Then, repeat. Discard with each exhale.
Simple, powerful tools for everyone, everyday.
Thank you for reading my hub!