Find Your Soulmate

If you met your soulmate right now, this minute, would you recognize him or her as the person whose love for you would be as strong ten, twenty, or thirty years down the line as it is the first three months that you'd dated?

If you're like most people, it's tempting to think, "Of course I would. There'd be an instant, undeniable attraction and it would only grow stronger with time." Well, yeah. Sort of. Maybe.

The problem is that instantaneous attraction is far more common than enduring love. It's easy to trip over passion and think, "Wow! I've finally found the perfect love!" over something that won't measure up over the long-term.

Fortunately, there are some ways to figure out whether your lover is true soulmate material.

Some people feel an instant connection with the person who will become their soulmate. Others take a little while to acknowledge or develop their feelings. This can happen within the same relationship! One person feels an undeniable pull, while the other is too focused on something else - work, hobbies, or another relationship - to see it.

Once they do get together, though, any doubts that may have existed vanish. They can't imagine life without each other, because of the steady presence of three characteristics:

• High compatibility - They "get" each other well.
• Plenty of laughter - Fun is one of the hallmarks of enduring relationships.
• Admiration - They appreciate their partner's personality and abilities.

Your own mindset can prevent you from being receptive to the perfect mate. Old hurts, bitter memories, and a negative outlook can interfere with finding happiness. Find ways to stay positive and happy while you're single so you'll appear more fun and confident to others. If necessary, seek a mental health counselor to deal with problem areas, or use the techniques offered in these books to develop a positive approach that will be attractive to others. Watch this video regularly to make sure your mind is ready to see that special guy or gal when they cross your path.

You can meet your soul mate anywhere - at work, in a classroom, at social events, or passing each other on the street. One of the best, most proven ways to boost your chances of finding a true-blue, soulmate kind of love is through your existing social sphere:

• Ask your friends if they have any single pals who would be a good match for you.
• Let coworkers know you're interested in finding someone special to date, and ask if they know someone you'd like.
• Inform family members that you're taking applications for a new boyfriend or girlfriend if they know someone who would be perfect for you.

Naturally, this approach could lead to accepting blind dates, which may not suit you. You can avoid putting yourself in awkward situations by asking your acquaintance to arrange a casual event that has several people in attendance. A simple outdoor barbecue is a casual, low-pressure way to bring together several couples and a few singles, for instance, while it gives both of you a chance to size each other up and decide whether you'd like to go on a date.

When you've met someone that seems to have soulmate potential, don't go overboard just yet, especially if you met online and haven't been in each other's presence very much! After all, about one of every two couples that makes it as far as marriage later discovers that they were mistaken about their relationship's ability to last forever - and that isn't counting the gajillions of relationships that break off before setting a wedding date.

Evaluate whether your new partner is your soulmate by paying close attention to the Five Pillars of Compatibility and being alert for red flags. Many divorces could be avoided if individuals heeded early signals about their partners!

If you discover red flags, or certain areas of incompatibility, it is more beneficial to break off a new relationship and stay available for the one that won't take "hard work" to make it last. It's okay to be faithful to finding the kind of partner you want. It doesn't make you a bad person to say, "This isn't what I'm looking for." Give yourself permission to only let people into your life who will treasure you for the person you are rather than trying to change you, because if it's not comfortable and natural, it's not true, soulmate love.