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Men Who Wear Lingerie, Women Are Not The Enemy

Updated on October 16, 2009

Recently, I published this hub called Men In Dresses and Women In Red, The Cost Of Fashion Freedom, in which I compared the struggle of women in the Middle East who can be arrested and beaten simply for wearing clothing of the wrong color, with that of men who wanted to wear women's clothing in public.

I wrote this in response to the idea that some men think they have more to lose than women when it comes to fashion equality. I wrote this to inspire those who think they have it hard to realize that there are those who sacrifice their very lives for the ideals of 'fashion freedom.' I wrote this, because honestly, I find the fact that men who have never really had to struggle for anything in their lives suddenly complaining when things get a little bit hard for them to be thoroughly sickening.

Don't get me wrong. There are many strong men who wear lingerie when and where they want. They strike out for their freedom quietly and effectively. They vote with their dollars, purchasing women's clothing as they see fit, and they don't blame women for the fact that not everyone in the world accepts men in women's clothing just yet. They find understanding, open minded partners and they enjoy the fruits which come with being open, honest and risking rejection to find those worth having in their lives. I have never claimed that this path is an entirely easy one.

Unfortunately, the article got a strong response from men who wanted to retain the right to whine, and who blamed women (American women, in particular) for the fact that there is inequality in men's and women's dress norms.

I myself was accused of belittling the issues of men who wear lingerie, which is a fairly rich accusation given that there are literally hundreds of articles here on the topic and I've devoted a large part of the past two years to raising awareness of the issue and supporting men who do wear lingerie and other items of women's clothing.

Unfortunately, where I must part ways with a certain sector of the panty wearing crowd is where they decide to demonize women and blame them for being close minded and awful etc. Whilst there are undoubtedly some women of this persuasion, these traits exist in both genders. A man who gets beaten up for wearing a skirt is not likely to be beaten up by women, but by a pack of idiot men. The issue of men wearing women's clothing is an issue of social norms, and it is an issue which transcends genders.

Women are not the enemy. I understand if you have experienced rejection from several women who do not support the idea that men should be able to wear lingerie, it is tempting to blame all women. But if you want to achieve fashion equality, you can't do it by demonizing women, and you sure as heck can't do it by pitying yourself and claiming you have more to lose than them.

I'm not going to waste any more time trying to convince those who enjoy playing the victim to stand up and follow the example of their brothers in lingerie who make a constructive difference. Some men who wear lingerie 'get it', and others don't. But, please, if you happen to fall into the category of men who blame women for the current fashion inequality, and if you happen to also believe you have more to lose than them when it comes to fighting for your rights, don't blame the lingerie when you can't find a partner who will support you wearing women's clothing. Even I, one of the most vocal female supporters of men who wear women's clothing find that attitude sickeningly weak, whiny and entirely unattractive.


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    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Thanks guys, JNH, Cantsay, Wren ... I really do think it is important to maintain a positive attitude, people smell desperation, fear and bitterness and you can't sell anything that way.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I'd have to agree with Hope on this one. Men are their own worst enemy. The females in my life that know that i wear panties support me fully. My mom supported me fully from the time that i told her till now. It was my dad that criticized me and called me a freak. It was my dad that kicked me out of the house as soon as i graduated high school. I know that some guys aren't as lucky as me to find women that are supportive of me, but you have to stay strong and stop pointing fingers at a whole group in which most of the people you don't even know.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      panties4everyone, I don't even believe for a second that you truly believe that is the point of this article. Please stop making a fool of yourself. You're single handedly doing far more harm to the cause than a million women laughing at men who wear panties.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Women were allowed to demonize men for denying them equality. Why are men not allowed to do the same to women who deny men equality? Seems like you're just saying, "It's okay for women to do this to gain equality, but it's sickening, whiny, and unnattractive when men do the same thing women did in order to gain equality." Seems a tad hypocritical to me.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Far out, I experience almost the opposite to this - I find by being open and honest about it all that most women SUPPORT me and how I feel about it all.

      I want a fashion revolution and they understand why.

      Cotton shirts, cotton pants, cotton undies - it's bloody boring being a man. It's not JUST because the panties are meant for women, so of it is because the materials are nice to wear, comfortable, thrilling, silky, smooth, stretchy.

      Try explaining that to a woman - she WILL understand, I'm sure of it.

      Hope it sounds like you get some stick on here, good on you for standing up to it and telling it how it is!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Hope -

      An awsome article! You most likely have seen several of my responses and post to your articles. As a panty wearing heterosexual male, I agree with your position! We make the choice to wear lingerie, so we may get the occasional snicker or evil eye, but we do it by choice with all the freedoms granted us by our Great Nation!

      The women you point out don't have any of our freedoms! They do this knowing they stand a very real chance of being killed. Guys, quit the Whining and Complaining! We have it pretty good over here!


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