- Gender and Relationships
Men In Lingerie: Are You In The Panty Closet?
This article relates to an issue that I know affects a great deal of men who like to wear women's lingerie. You meet someone, she's beautiful, and she's sweet, and she is smart, she's everything you want in a woman. There's just one problem - she either doesn't know about your proclivities towards wearing women's lingerie, or she can't stand you wearing it. In either case, you've run up against a very sticky problem. What do you do?
There are two levels of problem here, the first one is more easily solved than the second. The first one is that she isn't into it because you haven't told her about it. Many men avoid telling their partners until later on in the relationship because they fear rejection. This is a mistake for a couple of reasons. One, there is a stage in a relationship, usually around the time that things start getting intimate, when it is only fair to her and you to reveal this desire.
The second reason it is a mistake to withold the fact that you wear lingerie is illustrated by comments on some of these hubs from women who say things like "Well if he wore lingerie, he better tell me on the first date, because I'll never see him again."
Tell me, do those women sound like nice people? Do they sound like someone you'd be happy in a relationship with? Chances are, if a woman rejects a potential mate based on what they wear regardless of their personality or any other characteristics, then she is more than likely going to be one of those soul sucking succubi who will consume you from the inside out.
People who are that narrow minded when it comes to someone they care about will have a hard time accommodating other life problems. If you can't wear panties, then what else isn't going to be acceptable in her world? What unrealistic expectations is she going to put on you as a man? If you lose your job and can no longer afford to buy nice clothes, will she leave you?
I am not saying that simply because a woman doesn't want to be with a man who wears panties sometimes that she is evil, I am saying that the type of thinking that leads a person to reject a loving, caring, smart, etc guy based on his underwear is so flawed that it cannot help but have a negative impact in other areas of their life. Bottom line, if you tell her and she reacts like that, then she would make you miserable anyway.
Here's a secret guys... if a woman loves you, she won't care if you want to wear a dinosaur suit while making love, as long as its not all the time, and as long as you are equally accommodating of her needs and desires as she is going to have to be of yours.
I'm going to let you in on a little personal story... I wasn't always a fan of men who wore lingerie. I didn't even think about it. It just wasn't something that had ever come up. Then one day I met a man, grew to like him, and at an appropriate point in our relationship, as we began to get intimate and share our desires, he shared the fact that he liked to wear womens lingerie sometimes. It was a little odd at first, but I loved him, and I soon grew to like the lingerie, to the point that I now write about it extensively.
If you're in the closet and it doesn't affect you, if you're happy in your relationships, and you can live with there being a significant facet of your life that your significant other doesn't know about, then fine, but if it is eating away at you any making you unsatisfied, then coming out of the closet isn't just something you need to do for you, its something you need to do for your partner too. If she refuses to accept it at first, there may still be a way forward if you are willing to discuss the matter and perhaps negotiate with her. If this is a revelation you have sprung on her after several years of marriage, or if you've been together for several years, then be prepared to take the heat, you do deserve it.
Relationships are about negotiation and fufiling one another's desires. Seek to find a way that you can pursue your lingerie wearing interests to the benefit of both of you.