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Men Who Wear Panties, Are You A Deviant?

Updated on October 12, 2009

This follows on as a thought from my previous article about men who wear lingerie and then get caught in public wearing the stuff. Now, a great deal of my focus in these articles has been on promoting awareness and acceptance of men who wear women's clothing, especially self acceptance on the part of men who have the desire to engage in this past time, if one can call it that. There's nothing worse than feeling a loathing towards a part of oneself that seems so very fundamental.

Of course, there is another side to this coin, and that is the men who wear lingerie or other items of women's clothing, but don't want acceptance. They wear women's clothing in order to deviate from the norms of society. If men suddenly started wearing skirts as part of their every day attire, then these deviants would have to find something even more outrageous to wear.

Please note that I use the term 'deviant' with affection and without the negative connotations which could be attached to it.

The other day I wrote an article called 'Why Men Will Always Wear Panties,' it basically followed the premise that society is made up of a large group of so called 'normals' and also populated by not insignificant numbers of outliers. The argument I make there is itself an argument for deviants and deviations. Socially and biologically we rely on those who deviate from the norm to innovate, to mutate and to evolve. If it weren't for deviants we'd still be bubbling around in sludge.

So then, if you happen to have been born with a deviant personality, one that thrives on creating controversy, one that always seeks the new and the different, one who is bored to tears by the norm and by the status quo, seek comfort in the fact that you are essential for our cultural survival. The path of the deviant is not an easy one, not every deviation is a success, certainly biologically speaking, most deviations are unsuccessful. But every now and again, some brilliant odd bright spark does something so wonderful that the norm itself is changed.

For the moment, men who wear lingerie and other items of womens clothing walk a line, in some senses they may be described as deviants, in other ways they are the heralds of a new potential norm. Whether that norm becomes established or not depends on how well it works in modern society. Is it a beneficial fashion adaptation? Only time will tell.

What we can know for certain is that if the movement is successful, in a few decades a new generation of outliers will be pushing the boundaries in ever more extraordinary ways.


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    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I have wanted to wear panties since I was about 14, and did so from that time on whenever I could buy them (with great embarrasment) or borrow them surreptiously from my wife. My wife learned about my fetish about 20 years ago, and was OK with it. She even went shopping with me for panties, but their use was only occasional, as sex aids actually. Less than a year ago I told my wife that I wanted to wear panties full time, and she agreed, but only after I assured her that I had no interest in other feminine attire. Since then, I have been much more comfortable, and our sex life has improved, because I usually wear very sexy panties when we have a date, and she likes that!

      The main reason I am writing is to say that I don't like the word "deviant" at all. Even if you, Hope, see it as a "good word" to describe we panty fetishists, I don't. Deviant is deviant, and deviant -- even though it may move our species forward -- can put you in jail, or worse.

      I've spent a lot of time with psychologists working through my acceptance of my fetishes (I have others!), and one psychologist in particular, a sex therapist, urged me to think of all of my fetishes as "uncommon" to some degree, rather than abnormal or deviant. Both abnormality and deviance cannot be quantified, and thus always represent someone's unverifiable opinion of someone else. "If we say that any human activity is "uncommon" we are saying that it probably isn't common, but we just don't know and cannot find out: the judge in his chambers, the minister at his pulpet, the surgeon in the operating theatre are not likely to admit to anyone except perhaps their significant other that they are wearing panties, so we really have no idea how common it is.

      In addition, there is the matter of demonizing uncommon behaviours. Psychiatrists only consider a sexual fetish or paraphilia to be a mental illness if the fetish or paraphilia harms someone. If it's harmless, it's just a behaviour. Homosexuality used to be considered a mental illness. Now it is not.


    • profile image

      Lamorak Korving 

      9 years ago

      I would not consider myself a deviant. But I was cursed with epilepsy by God on New Year's Day, 1965. Grrrrr!!! I swear, if I ever meet God, I'll give the bastard a sound thrashing. Thanks to HIM, I've never had a sexually fulfilling encounter in my life. I'm 47 years old, damn him, and STILL a virgin. Boys and men in the first Elizabethan era were legally entitled to wear clothes made of the finer fabrics, like satin, silk and lace. These fabrics may have been outlawed for boys and men in the 19th and 20th centuries, but this is the 21st century, for crying out loud! Guys should have the same rights as girls to decide what they want to wear! And if guys decide they want to wear girls' panties they buy for themselves, then it's their choice, not society's! In fact, I'll go further. I asked a guy at my local pub, The Great Northern, if the term "girl's panties" was sexist, and he said yes. I am inclined to agree on that point. I wear panties because I find them more comfortable than my Y-fronts. I also consider it the zenith of hypocrisy that women can wear male clothing with nobody thinking it weird, unnatural or unfeminine. But, unfortunately, the same does not hold true for men or boys. And this is supposed to be a sexually equal society? Ha bloody ha. I'll believe that when it realises that a man is still a man irrespective of what he wears. Besides, all guys have a feminine side, or didn't you know that? And stop being so damn macho, because that means "aggressively male; ostentatiously virile". As the actress Zsa-Zsa Gabor once famously said, "Macho does not prove mucho", and I agree with that statement.

    • profile image

      Fairy Mary 

      9 years ago

      Ouch!! You got me Hope, right between the eyes!

      By the way, I just finished reading about a Doctor in the nineteenth century who was considered a deviant.nutcase by other Doctors because he insisted that women and new born babies were dying of after-birth infections caused by their Doctors dirty hands. He died locked in what was then called a "Mad-House" - but as we all know, these days cleanliness when treating their patients is considered an absolute priority by Doctors world-wide.

      Food for thought about us deviants isn't it?

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      As in unconventional conventionalists a la Rocky Horror? :D

    • profile image

      Fairy Mary 

      9 years ago

      I think rather than "deviant" (because of it's connotations of "deranged") perhaps we who wear panties should regard ourselves more as "unconventional" (in the clothing department anyway) than anything else.

    • Tomgeekery profile image


      9 years ago

      I admit it. At least in some areas I'm a deviant.

      Some times I can be such a sheep though.


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