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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Men and Compliments, or lack of
" How do I look? "
Compliments have enormous power, especially when they are genuine and from those closest to you. A compliment in the middle of the day that comes without asking, “ How do I look?,” is especially nice. So why is it so hard for some? Specifically men! Yes I’m talking to you, you know who you are.
For some men the words just seem to spill from their lips like drool from a teething baby! But for most, it’s like pulling teeth! For the men who struggle with compliments, I ask, do you think you sound stupid when paying a compliment, or do you feel weak and sappy? Or is it neither? To the men that seem to know exactly what to say and do it well, please feel free to share the art of complimenting at your next poker game!
Now, here is why we woman like to hear nice things and some tips on how not to sound lame and why you should at least try to say something nice!
When we have to ask, it means you didn’t notice, or you just don’t care.
Example: You and your significant other are going out to dinner for the first time in quite a while. Your woman has just come down the stairs from primping for her date and is ready to leave. NOW, say something, before she even steps off the last step, this is your first opportunity. If you miss it, your woman is already feeling slighted. She just spent the last hour and a half scraping, fluffing, plucking, tweezing and painting herself in order to look nice for you! If she makes it out to the car and you haven’t said a word to her other than, “where are the keys”, your dead! If she has to ask you how she looks, then there is absolutely no way in hell your gonna see those shaved legs later!
Ok, so, your woman is pissed, you just missed an opportunity to tell her she looks nice. Was it worth it? No, certainly not! Why is it so important to her? First, most woman when going out with their men for dinner or anything out of the ordinary work week mundane, usually they take a little extra time to get ready. We do it because all week we have thrown our hair into a messy bun, scrubbed a few toilets, prepared a few meals and neglected to shave our legs at least once. So when we take the extra time to pay attention to the fine details we have neglected all week, well, we’re counting on you to be paying attention to the difference between the messy bun and the perfectly coiffed hair-do we spent the last hour primping on!
Now that we have cleared up why it’s bad if she has to ask you how she looks and why it pisses her off, lets get to what you can do to avoid hurting her feelings and maybe get you a closer look at her gams later! First, we’re not looking for the ‘Soap-opera’ compliment. “ You look nice,” is ok but, we weren’t working overtime for “ nice.” I personally like the “ Wow, I can’t wait to get you home,” approach! That will alway’s make a girl blush! Other compliments that will also score some high points and make your woman’s primping feel appreciated, “ You smell good,” and “ I like the way your eyes look,” being specific makes your complements less generic and more meaningful.
Lets face it, when your woman comes into the room looking different than she did all week, chances are she’s feeling a little more special than she did an hour ago when she was loading your undies in the washer, the least you can do is let her know she cleans up real good!
To the men out there, I hope this helps, and to the woman who have to ask “ How do I look.” This was for you!
**I apologize for the underlining, I have no idea how it happened or how to correct it.