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Men, be men

Updated on January 14, 2011

boys are doomed because of men

 When I was growing up I heard someone say "the boy father's the man." It's true that what you do as a boy and young man decide how you'll turn out to be an adult. The sad truth is many boys are making poor decisions because there isn't a man around to guide them.

Statistically boys are getting worse grades, getting into more troub;e, and generally making poor decisions today more than ever. At the same time, more boys are growing up fatherless than ever before. I am not saying a woman can't raise a boy without dad in the picture, but I would say it's nearly impossible to raise a real man without some male influence (grandpa, uncle, coach, teacher ect.) in his life.

I am a male who grew up with one mom and no siblings. Trust me, it wasn't easy, but my mom loved me and made sure I had everything I needed- including male role models. My Grandfather and uncles made sure I had someone worth looking up to. Today I see why they did that. Many boys are growing older, but never growing up. They need a male leader in their life to challenge them to grow up. Mothers are just as indispensable, however many times (to their credit) moms stick around. Dads are where the problem is at.

 To this day I have a hard time addressing men who are my superior while looking into their eyes. To be honest I have a real distrust for men in general. Maybe it has something to do with my childhood, maybe not. I feel the effects of not having a real dad. It's great that I was taught well enough to break the cycle, but many boys aren't learning how to break the vicious circle of deadbeat dads.

The truth is, it starts with men. Guys, when you say "I do" you make a promise. When she gives birth to your son/daughter it's a commitment. Not a job, nor a responsibility, but a real life-time commitment to her and your children. Nobody likes to make tough decisions, but that's part of  being a MAN. My challenge to all the men is this: think long and hard before you commit to a relationship, count the cost, and once you commit...Be a MAN of your word.


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    • DIYweddingplanner profile image

      DIYweddingplanner 7 years ago from South Carolina, USA

      I can absolutely relate to this. In a community where, about 30% of the girls are having babies without the benefit of marriage, I see the effects of children being raised either without fathers or fathers who are pathetic excuses for parents. When will they wake up? The girls and the boys?