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Men's Relationship Issues
Today we'll be discussing relationship issues and what I believe will help men overcome them. Before I do so, I am going to go over some statistics.
Source: Men Can Be Abused, Too
- 48.8 percent of all men have dealt with some sort of psychological aggression by their partner, equal to the number of women.
- About 1 in 7 men ages 18 and older have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner.
- Nearly 8 percent of males who’ve reported domestic violence have been shot at, stabbed or hit with a weapon.
The biggest part of the problem is the fact that hardly anyone wants to talk about it. Why is that? I will tell you why I believe this is so.
Sexual Harassment in Public, Guys vs Girls (Social Experiment)
Reason #1. Men Are Seen as the Bad Guys, Not the Woman
Take a look at the video above. A man and a woman hold an experiment; what happens when the girl sexually harasses him, and hen what happens if he does it? As expected he is seen as the bad guy while no one tries to defend him when it happens to him. And this is not just the fault of women. There were guys who would not stand up for him either.
Why is this? Because men are always thought of as the violent and angry type while women are nothing more than Good Samaritans who do no wrong. That, in and of itself, is sexist towards both men and women. It implies that all women are utterly defenseless ants compared to the gigantic vile man. And it implies that men are all violent, sexist and manipulative.
Reason #2: Men Are Not Taken Seriously
Another thing I must add is that part of the reason male abuse victims aren't addressed as much is because of the aforementioned stereotypes. Not only did they assume he was in the wrong, they might have said the same thing had he spoken up. Men are made to conform to the idea that we cannot defend ourselves against women when we are abused in any way. It's a lose-lose situation. If you are hit by a woman, you're looked down on because you look weak. If you fight back, you've just hit a poor defenseless woman.
These double standards have left many men feeling like they can't do anything to fix it. But I am here to help you out. Before we go into what you should do, we need to find the signs of abuse.
Note: This is not meant to say only men go through this.
Does she...
- Insult, demean or embarrass you? Have you talked to her about it and yet she continues to do so?
- Control what you do, who you talk to or where you go? Do you feel as if you cannot make any movement without her permission?
- Physically harm you?
- Take your money without consideration for you?
- Make all of the decisions without your input?
- Threaten you with a false accusation?
If so, you are in an abusive relationship.
What You Should Do
- Recognize that abuse is not your fault. Even if you are doing something wrong, your spouse has no right to hurt you the way she does.
- Recognize that you're not alone. As shown earlier there are many men who have been in the same situation you have been in.
- Talk to her about it. It may seem futile, but I have seen it work. Some people just need to be shown the error of their ways, and it can come through simple conversation.
- Stand up for yourself. Show her that you will not let her push you around. Defend yourself from whatever she does. No matter what others think, you are entitled to certain rights as a human being and do not deserve to be treated like that.
- Six (for those with children). If you have kids, do whatever you need to do in order to get them to a safe place. Even if she doesn't hurt them now there is potential for it in the future. If she hurts the man she is supposed to love as much as herself, how much is her child going to be worth to her someday?
- If all else fails, move on. Leave her behind. Maybe you two just need a break. Or maybe it is time for you two to go your separate ways.
Thank you for your time, and as always, let me know if my facts are not on point.
Question
Have you, as a man, been in an abusive relationship? Sharing your story is optional.
Comments
"Men Are Seen as the Bad Guys, Not the Woman"
You made some valid points about our society.
Even during our "modern era" where there's a push to claim women are equal to men, strong, and independent. However if two college age teens embark on a drinking and smoking pot that leads to them having sex. Only the boy can be accused of taking advantage of the girl if she later regrets it or says she was raped. Never mind they both were high at the time.
Strip club behavior is different for men and women as well. If a man goes to a strip club there are rules he must follow such as what cannot be touched when engaged with strippers. When women go to male strip clubs the women can grab, touch, or rub all parts of the male stripper.
If a woman slaps a man it's "comedy" but if a man slaps a woman it's a "tragedy". Our society condones women hitting men for saying the "wrong thing" to them if they're offended. No one would ever say a man is entitled to hit a woman over something she did let alone said.
Men are also reluctant to call the police when women hit them. Assaults against men are probably under reported. Not surprisingly a lot of domestic violence occurs when a man retaliates against a woman who hit him or threw something at him....etc
We're never going to have true equality until both genders are viewed the same when it comes to committing offenses and receiving the punishment for such offenses.
Very few women get the death penalty for committing murder. Even now if a ship were sinking we still would let off (women) and children first. In a world if everything were "equal" it would be "first come first serve".
Gender shouldn't determine how one is treated in society.
We need to decide if women are {equal} or "special".
The problem is women as a group can't decide which way they want to be treated. Many want it both ways! :)