ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Romantic Intimacy

Misery of the Mind

Updated on November 23, 2013


Welcome readers! Have you ever felt that you wanted something so much that it was hard to see anything else except what you wanted? Well this article is about the misery's our emotions can create for us and how to resolve inner conflicts. The main causes of inner conflicts usually relates to something that means a lot to us. Like for example, love, marriage, children etc. For the purpose of this article we are going to focus on love. I am choosing to base this article on inner conflicts revolving around love because this is a huge conflict and most times there is no answers. Most times we all have to learn the hard way but I want to shed some light on this issue. So what is inner conflict? Inner conflict is when your mind and your emotions can't seem to agree on anything. It consumes your thoughts even when you don't want it too. Now when it comes to love it is always a consistent struggle. How do you resolve these conflicts? Well I'm going to give some examples and offer some solutions to the best known inner conflicts when it comes to love. I must state for the record, I am not a medical professional and my advice shouldn't replace that of a medical professional if needed. Please use this article only for the purpose of having an idea on certain subjects. Thank you. Now ready...lets jump right into it!!

A great song with a powerful meaning :)

Conflict #1

The number source of inner conflict is with no surprise falling in love with someone. Why because your always afraid of falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. This is the cause for inner conflict number one on my list. Now when you experience a certain amount of time with someone you almost automatically draw some kind of bond with that person. The conflict comes in when your not SURE of your bond. Make no mistake their are healthy bonds and unhealthy bonds with people and the one that lasts the longest is the healthy bonds because they are built on a solid foundation. Now the unhealthy bonds do THE MOST damage and last FOR A LONG time after words. Fear not readers for I have some resolutions which can easy the pain of unhealthy bonds. Now for me to get to that I have to stress what is a healthy bond over an unhealthy bond because knowing the difference is the key to not repeating the same mistakes over and over again. A healthy bond with someone leaves you feeling emotionally, physically, and overall happy. Even after conflicts. Why a healthy bond lasts over an unhealthy bond is like I said based on the foundation in which the bond was built. A healthy foundation is built from the very beginning. Yes ladies and gentlemen from the moment you meet someone the foundation begins! Now what happens during that time is very important because you are building the foundation. Lets pause here for a second and switch gears for a second. Let's talk about unhealthy bonds. A unhealthy bond is like a living disease inside of you. It poison's your ability to think clearly, it makes you do things that are against your morals or standards, and it makes you feel like your hurting all the time. The foundation on which an unhealthy bond is built usually starts very quick like doing drugs or having sex or anything that feels like someone other than yourself. Once this has started it is very hard to reverse the process. Now didn't I say I have a resolution for this inner conflict? Lets go to that. The main conflict here is your probably fighting yourself. You want something but you know it is not reasonable or makes sense. The only way to resolve this inner conflict is to NOT trust yourself. I repeat DON'T TRUST YOURSELF! Now before anyone says what the hell do I mean, ask yourself this have you resolved the conflict on your own? No you keep going back and forth. Well when this happens you have TRUST IN KNOWLEDGE! Knowledge is the key to anything and everything. Knowledge can free you from any conflict. Now with that being said, what type of knowledge do you need? You need to be able to trust that this inner conflict is real. It also has a resolution. Now the answer is that you have ask yourself what is the foundation of which this was built on? Can I continue to live this way? Am I truly happy? What will make me happy? Don't second guess your knowledge because it is the key to freeing yourself!


Conflict #2

The second main inner conflict is wanting what you already have but being to emotional to see it. Now with that being said what exactly do I mean? Well I'm talking about when your with someone and all can you can focus on is what your NOT getting from them. Sometimes we can cause our own inner conflicts by not being able to let go and compromise. So what happens? Need an example? When your with someone and all you really want is for them to give you what you truly want and they don't. Like for example you want to get married and they say they are not ready for that type of commitment. This will no doubt create an inner conflict. Why? Because when you want something bad enough you sometimes can be super stubborn even when it doesn't make sense. Sometimes we can't see things from the other person's view. We sometimes can be very one sided. Now let me get the resolution for this inner conflict. You maybe feeling like you don't want to continue the same thing with this person because you may never advance and could end up wasting a lot of time. Now pause for a second. What is that feeling inside of you telling you? That you are afraid, meaning fear. Fear holds a lot of people back from greatness. The only way to resolve this conflict is to let go of your fear and focus on what is in front of you. Look at things for what they really are. The point in life is to find and be with someone who loves you for you. If you already know that the person has shown they love you through good and bad times then do you really need a ring or title to prove it? Or is that you need it because you are afraid. When you don't have nothing to fear, their is no such thing as wasting time on someone! Why? Because you learned something. You found a piece of yourself through that person good or bad. You shared your life with someone and that is never a waste of time. Things may or not work out that is not for anyone to determine, you should just focus on what you already have. You just need to accept it. Simple forget about the other noise behind the door. Before it is gone.

Take this poll to see where you fall among your fellow people!

Do you feel like you are incapable of love because of your mistakes?

See results

Conflict #3

My last inner conflict that I'm going to talk about is when you love someone and no one else agrees with you. This causes inner conflict because when you seek the advice of others and you don't hear the feedback YOU wanted then you start to doubt yourself and if you are doing the right thing. Which typically brings us to seek more advice from MORE people and if the feedback still doesn't match what WE want to hear then we causes ourselves more inner conflict. Now you can clearly see the problem here right? In case you can't I'm going to pick it out for you. Listening to other people is VERY foolish. Why? Because they have only one side of the story. Simple as that. They are typically only hearing the negative side of things too. Of course someone would say you should leave someone who apparently makes you unhappy enough to complain so much behind their back. Make no mistake about it, that is exactly what you are doing. You are complaining to others instead of complaining to the person your with. Why are you doing this? Because you want to HEAR what you want to hear. Your closing mind off to the other side of the story. The resolution is you have to be willing to work things out with your partner. Not with other people. Even if you don't feel you are getting what you want try to see things from their point of view. They could be just as hurt as you are. On top of that it doesn't make it better to find out that the person they trust is talking crap behind there back or listening to crap about them behind there back. Look at it this way, would you really trust someone who can't think and act for them self? That always needs the opinion of others? The only way you will truly be able to build a real strong relationship is to be strong yourself! I repeat is to be strong yourself. You have to be able to hold things inside and work things out between the two of you. Not with everyone else, this isn't daytime TV! This is real life and people feelings will get hurt and you will kill your relationship if you so weak minded.

A good lesson that you don't want to learn the hard way!

Final words to my readers

These are just three of the main causes of inner conflict while there are thousands more, I wanted to address three of them. A lot of times inner conflicts are typically because we are truly in fear of the truth that we know inside of us. Love is never going to be easy because it isn't just about you its about us. TWO. There is no ME in love. That's why it is so hard, because when you want something you tend to do what you have to get it. Love is different because you have to be willing to say well this isn't what is best for both of us even though I want it. That's not easy and its not easy to see things from someone else's view. It's easy to paint someone as an unfeeling monster or heartless. It is not easy to look behind that and ask why? It not easy to understand that everyone has things they are afraid of. It is easy to blame others because they haven't given you what you wanted. It is not easy to look inside yourself and ask do I really need this or can I just be happy with what I already have. In conclusion take this message from this article if nothing else. Sometimes the things we want the most we already have and just are afraid to accept it. Or change it. Thank you for reading I hope you have enjoyed this article and found it somewhat useful! Until next time readers ciao.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.