- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Mistakes that could ruin love
Welcome Readers to an exclusive tell all!
Hello Readers, this article is for men and women. I am writing this article because I want my readers to live happy and joyful relationships. This article is a tell all because I am personally going to inform you, my readers about how to avoid ruining your chances at love. Now a lot of you may comment and say how do I know this? Simply because some of it I have lived it, went through it, and other stuff I have witnessed. This is not an article that I'm talking to you from some advice I got out of a book. This is an exclusive article to warn my readers about the path of heart break. Before I get into things, I want to state for the record I am not a medical professional. My advice shouldn't be used or replaced with that of a medical professional. My advice shouldn't be used for more than just food for thought. Please don't leave nasty or hateful comments at the bottom of the page because those will be deleted. With that said, all comments done so in a respectful tasteful manner either positive or negative is appreciated and respected. NOW, even if you aren't currently seeking a relationship or just having fun, I want to advice you that your biologically programmed to seek and obtain love from another human being. This is just called evolution, reproduction, whatever but for those of you that are seeking love and relationships with someone. I have some very important things to highlight. If your not looking like I said your body, mind, and being is. So please take the time and look over these points. We all know how hard and difficult love is and can be. You don't need me to tell you that. Although their is somethings that you can do that will make it impossible or even more difficult to obtain love. I'm not talking about the type of love that lasts for a couple of months or weeks. I'm talking about true real bonding love. With all this in mind please read on.
Sex with no strings attached
Um, I thought it wise to start here because it is becoming more popular. Now the goal of no strings attached sex is obviously not to get attached. Although lets be honest here for a moment, what is the point of having sex then? Is a few minutes or hours worth giving up your self worth and respect? Sex is a form of showing love, that was the intent upon creation. Now your probably thinking, great another person bashing a situation that can work out if you play smart. Not so. In fact, I have written an article about it that can help those of you that like to play the game. My point here is just to warn you that playing that kind of game is VERY risky and 95 percent of the time not worth it. Why? You are cheating yourself that's why. Let me explain, like I said before you are biologically programmed from the day your born to seek and obtain love from another person. So if your having sex with the intent not to attached, guess what? You may do it by accident. You may find someone you truly like having sex with. That's great right? As time goes on, you find out that this person is not just a sex toy. They actually have real feelings and are going through a rough spot in their life. Then as more time goes on, you start to relate to them and them to you. You start to find yourself having wonderful conversations, you start to take comfort in having a friend. The problem starts to happen here. You are more than friends. So you will gain more than friendly feelings for this person. You will with or without knowing it start to seek their heart and love. Eventually you will want more. Now IF the other person feels the same way and is willing to upgrade your status great! Although 95 percent of the time the other person will not feel the same or simply refuse to upgrade or more the relationship to the next level. Why? Well simply because from the day you agreed to have sex and use this person as a personal sex toy. You gave up your respect and appreciation of yourself. This person will probably never trust you. And should you really trust them? If they find someone else to befriend how do you know they aren't doing more? You will never know because just as you was able to hide your sex with no commitment relationship, so can they. The sad part is someone always ends up heart broken. Their is no undo button, once you give up the goods for pleasure instead of waiting for some type of commitment. You will never gain back the respect and appreciate you deserve. This type of person won't value you because they are stuck on the pleasure of getting everything and giving you nothing. You think they don't enjoy cheating you out of committing to you? THINK AGAIN. You can truly fall in love with this person and think money, time, communication, children will change things. You are only fooling yourself. It won't, for one your wasting valuable time and money on someone who has already proven to you they don't respect or appreciate you enough to commit to you. Communication means nothing if the person is just doing it with the intent for only themselves. To have a child with this person will only bring you pain in the end. Like I said 95 percent of the time. Why waste your life with something that is going nowhere fast! When you could find someone who respects you and appreciates you enough to earn your time, earn your affection, and earn your heart.
Now rather your a man or woman we have all been victims of jealousy at some point in our lives. Even though jealousy is a natural feeling, how you use it or deal with can either make or break love. Jealousy is usually out of response to a deeply in-bedded fear of loss. Typically accompanied with the feeling to protect what you have. This can push a person to a very bad place and if it gets extreme can ruin your chance at love. When you start to feel strongly for someone you will start to notice little things. You will start to take a personal interest in who they are speaking or talking with and what they are doing in their time away from you. With sex being so easy to get, it makes the average person just a bit more fearful of being played for a sucker. It is okay and even natural to feel jealousy especially when you feel strongly for someone. What isn't okay is doing something completely crazy or insane because of how you feel. I'll give an example, imagine your at home one day and you happen to hear from a mutual friend that your person of interest is out with somebody else having a good time. This naturally upsets you because you feel jealous. You feel that your competing with someone else now and that makes you upset. What is worse is that they didn't tell you. This makes you even more suspicious. You suddenly get the thought to confront them in an ambush. So you get the details of where they are. You go over their pretending that you didn't know they was there. Instead of playing it cool, your rage and jealousy overcome you. Then after everything is said and done the person decides to break up with you because they feel you don't have control over your emotions and are unstable. If this sounds familiar to you or even similar in someway then you have to understand just because you may feel this is right doesn't make it right. When you let your jealousy get out of control and can't see reason it makes you seem unstable. Like I said, jealousy isn't always a bad thing, its natural. Sometimes jealousy is a huge indicator that something isn't right. Either way, you need to understand love and extreme jealousy is not a happy mix. If you have reasons behind it then you need ask yourself can you really trust the person your with? If the answer is no because they have a habit of lying or being with someone else when your not around and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Then you need to end the relationship. Remember if you have no trust then you don't have a relationship. Who wants to keep looking over their shoulder all the time? If the person is unwilling to change their ways its time to part ways. Or you can continue to let the person drive you crazy or insane. The bottom line here is to know when jealousy is unhealthy. Asking questions and expressing your feelings of concern is not wrong. It becomes wrong when it leads you to extreme behavior.
Giving Everything you got
This in its own way is very romantic and sweet. When your in love you don't mind sharing everything you have to please the other person. The issue is knowing the difference between if they would do the same for you or not. Love is NEVER one sided, love is SHARED between two people. Meaning that if you give up everything without a single compliant then the other person should be able to do the same. If your relationship is more you giving, giving, and more giving then you not with someone who loves you. It should be simple, the more you give to them, the more you see them giving back. If the person is not willing to listen to your feelings, adhere to your concerns, and leaves you with a overall feeling of being used then you need to end it quickly. You CAN'T change anyone, only they can change themselves. If they are not willing to see their faults and change then you giving them the world on a plate will not matter. In fact, it will only make them a worse person in the end. They will continue to use you and not give a flying damn about the hard choices your making to keep them happy. They will just expect you to do so. Then make more and more demands. They will never be happy and in the end will not feel one bit of shame about what they did. In fact, they will continue to be a clown and will be laughing/dancing while you sit heartbroken in pain. Why? Simply because they don't love themselves. They know inside their incapable of taking care of themselves. At the core of it, they know they are nobody and have diminished all hope for themselves because it is easier for them to blame other people or situations that happened to them. If you don't love yourself than you can't love someone else. Simply because you will love them they way you do yourself. That is the amount of care you show for others because that is what you think about yourself. The bottom line is that you want to avoid this type of relationship because what they really need is therapy not a relationship. The issues are to deep for you to fix, so stop giving your all for someone who can't even meet you halfway.
Last but not least, the person who is just a lier. Now when you first met them they probably took your breath away. They probably painted this beautiful picture of themselves for you. Slowly over time you find out that the lies keep adding up. Suddenly that once beautiful image seems to change into hell. You feel you don't know what to believe anymore. All you want is the person who you thought they was back. Well let me explain something to you, they can't give you that person back because that person NEVER existed. They probably don't even remember fully what type of person you believe they are because they lied. They lied and will continue to hide behind lies because the truth is they are not a good person and have no intention to be. They want what they want and will use any lie to get it. They will make promises and never keep them. They will always leave you feeling the baggage of their lies. They will always try to hide themselves because they know once you see them for who they really are, you will leave them. They might care but will never change because they don't know how. They won't seek professional help because they don't believe they need it. You have to understand that this type of relationship is doomed. Simply because it started with a lie and will end with more lies being discovered. Avoid this type of heart break by realizing that if they are not who they said they was then you were lied too. You have the right to walk away and I would do it quickly. A lier is very good at twisting things to make you look like the crazy one. They have experience with failed relationships because of who they are and will know just what to say to convince you that your wrong. They have studied you and know what to say to make you open your heart to them. If you continue to stay, the results I promise you will always be the same. They lied and will continue to lie. They will hide and continue to hide things from you. You will always be blindsided by the things that they do because they leave you in the dark about everything. Come on, I'm sure by now someone in your close friends or family have warned you that this person is bad news? I'm sure by the halfway point in your relationship, you probably lost a lot of valuable relationships with family and friends because you keep believing this person. Yet inside you know they are right and you deserve better. Although you don't want to leave because you don't want to start over. You don't want to admit everyone was right. You don't want to believe you are with a lier. If you continue to stay then you are willingly lying to yourself. If your okay with that and don't mind having your heart broken constantly by the things you have to discover on your own. Then stay. Or you can spare yourself the time, money, and your body by ending this lie of a relationship. Taking a stand and loving yourself enough to know you can do better without a lier.
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Do you think that (if your in a relationship) it will last forever?
I wrote this article not to single anyone out but to raise your awareness. These are free life lessons that you can't learn in a book. Experiences that have caused so many people so much pain put into words for readers like you to raise your awareness and evaluate your relationships so you don't sell yourself short. My purpose is not to bash anyone but to help you understand that everyone you meet or get involved with isn't always the best for you. That some people have real issues that you alone can't solve because they aren't willing to solve them for themselves. When love is true and pure you will always feel it even through the bad times and so will they. There won't always be a me but we can do this together. When someone loves you, you will know it inside and outside. You won't feel like your making a mistake or forcing someone to love you. Things will just work between the both of you. I hope you find this article informational and that you can take something away from reading this. Until next time readers take care of yourselves. Ciao.
I added this song because it is a classic and I love it!!
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