Love that matter the most
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touch. They must be felt with the heart”. It is a very strong emotion that no one can stop if it is around us. Is it love? Yes, it is the most important factor why people marry and choose to find someone outside their racial boundaries. Some people raised their eyebrows when it comes to this issue for they believed that it is a cultural betrayal, however some open-minded people considered that it is a bridge across the racial division. However, what is really behind this trend? “Studying mixed unions is important not only because these relationships reflect another aspect of the diversity of families in Canada today, but also because of the potential impact in terms of social inclusion”.
Interracial marriage moreover, is the union of two persons both belong to different race. This is a form of exogamy which means marrying outside social group. This research will enlighten and informed us about factors and impacts of interracial marriages or relationships involving children. This trend is not today, nevertheless, it existed a long time ago. People who are involved had faced difficult time, their love were forbidden and seemed like a crime.
Richard Loving & Mildred Jeter
History has proven that interracial marriage was not common in fact it was done in secret called taboo. The states banned marrying interracial couples, the society and the family itself doesn't accept such love could occur between individuals of different races. The most compelling evidence was in 1958, Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter were married in Washington, D.C. Richard was white and Mildred was black were prosecuted five weeks later. Their marriage was a violation of Virginia’s Racial Integrity Act. They were the most famous interracial marriage of all times “The couple were sent to jail, charged criminally, convicted of felonies and banished from Virginia”. The rough and hurtful onset of their relationship made them fought all the way to Supreme Court for the right to love and be loved without boundaries and to be thoroughly accepted by law and the community as husband and wife.
The legalization of interracial marriage in the US followed when Richard and Mildred Loving fought for their love against the nation. In 1967, US Supreme Court case struck down the anti-miscegenation laws. This was means the beginning of freedom to love and marry without limitation. Yet, racism still exists today and creates obstruction to the people who fall in love with the other race but some people consider that, it is like a spice that makes the relationship strong, sweet and yummy.
According to the 2006 census, 3.9% of the 7,482,800 couples in Canada were mixed unions. Between 2001 and 2006, it grew at a rapid pace (33%). StatCan study shows that second, third and fourth generation Canadians are most likely to marry outside their race. The numbers of interracial marriage is continually increasing due to many immigrants coming in to certain regions all over the world, particularly in US and Canada, not to mention, the sponsored person as husband or wife.
I am one of them
I am one of so many couple around the globe that belongs to the so-called mixed-race marriage. It is not my intention to marry outside my race however, if your heart's dictates you, there is no reason for you to utter except obey it and followed no matter what it takes.
Mixed-couple will face extra challenge within their marriage life inside and out due to its cultural differences.
- Expectations is one of the challenges being met by the couple. It includes the way they look at things, the ways of dressing as well as the ways of expressing personality and gratitude.
- Food an be a big issue in interracial marriage likewise, taste, the way it is prepared and how to cook and table manners as well.
- These are the examples of conflicts inside the house. What about outside? here are the following:
- open hostility and intimidation
- negative stereotyping
- derogatory comments
- sense of isolation
These problems occurs everyday. The way on how to handle these issues will depend on the individual, how strong they are in the relationship, commitment, respect, understanding and communication is a must.
- Communication is also a great challenge and it varies in different ways depending on who are involved in it. Learning and knowing each other’s differences is a good start specifically in gestures and accents. Most people laughed and teased when they heard different accent in which it will develop an unease environment and initiate trouble, in this regard, exchanging information, feelings and ideas will help strengthen marriage life, “…use effective communication skills so that difficult times can be handled in healthy ways.” Communication is a key to a successful relationship, if people can maintain an atmosphere of respect and really listen to each other, the couple grows stronger.
- Trust Yourself - believing and trusting of who you are will be of great help to make your marriage strong.
- Know the Difference - as a person responsible for the relationship, you need to be open and discuss the differences between you and your partner like, culture and traditions, holidays and so many other things.
What is the most important factors in a relationship?
Factors Concerning Mixed Race Marriage
Love and affection is the most important factor why people are engaged to marry particularly outside their racial boundaries. This is the feelings that see no boundaries no matter what. Love is a powerful weapon and this can be a tool to eradicate bad things and conquer everything at the same time, it can also ruin one’s life if people misunderstood.
According to StatCan, educated and young adult are likely to get involved in interracial relationship provided that they understand the concept of love, promises and oneness of the heart and soul. They are willing to take the risk, knows how to sacrifice and stand with their own feet because they believed that their feelings will create a hopeful path for future race relations through sacrifice and commitment to love for better or worse.
To some extent, people also believed that a person is trying to find someone outside their race for security purposes for instance, money and visa, with this intention or not, person is still doing his or her sacrifice for the love and responsibility for the family. Regardless of what is behind one’s individual journey, challenges will still accompany with it.
Love that binds relationship
Love is so powerful and that’s what interracial marriage is. Life is very short and it is very difficult to find happiness, so if a person found happiness and love in a different race, then go for it, people must listen to the heart and not to the society who is judgmental to this kind of relationship. This trend is very challenging to the individuals who have chosen this pattern involving children but when love, sacrifice, understanding and commitment are present, all the difficult things that has been faced will be diminished. Interracial marriage is therefore, not a cultural betrayal instead it helped people to understand and embrace a new culture. It is not easy task at all for the people who are in this situation but they will be a model to the society in order for them to realize how important the unity of humankind.
Mixed-race Marriage and the Affects of Children
Negative effects of children:
Children’s awareness is well-known, they might disoriented and asked who they really are, while on the other hand, families are either on one side or both rejected them as part of the family, ignored and make jokes on them. This is very sad and shame to know but it happens in reality especially if the family is racist.
I read a book about how interracial marriage affect the children and one phrase I quoted here said “People think that the baby of a mixed race is cute…but it’s offensive. It’s not easy life. There’s a lot of bleeding going on. There are wounded people out there…being of mixed race adds another layer of difficulty”.
"What I think in this opinion is maybe this was happened before, because so far I did not see any problem going with my two children. They both love their color and beauty".
Aside from the negative effects on the children, there is also good thing for them such as;
- Children have an opportunity to explore both heritages. These are definitely true in the sense that, it is easy for them to cross the line and glimpse the origins of their parents, grandparents and great grandparents where it will help them build a foundations to be confident and be proud for who they are.
- Mixed race children are beautiful. They are unique and most attractive individuals, in fact, it shows evidently in most celebrities like Keanu Reeves, Vin Diesel, Mariah Carey and some others.
Another View - Interracial Marriage
Impacts to the society and family
Notwithstanding, interracial marriage has several impacts to the society and family, it has both positive and negative.
The negative impact are the following;
- it shows direct and indirect this is due to the fact that, some people hide their true feelings and opinion towards others they better like to play hide and seek and spread all the nasty comments among friends, relatives and to the community.
- Family members might ask the partner so many questions like these, “What are you up to? Are you after with the money or visa?” “Stick to your own kind.” “If you insist to be together please do not make baby” or “What’s wrong with your kind?” these are among of the direct questions received by mixed couple.
- There are some people in the community do not accept the relationship while most of the family and friends do not like to talk to the spouse and will keep their distance.
- Even though mixed race is already accepted nowadays there are a still a lot of people who doesn’t accept the reality that love is color blind.
- Most indirect comments received like being stared, people shaking their heads while looking the couples of two different colors walking holding hands.
- Additionally, sometimes the partner is not being acknowledged and simply ignored in the family or friends gathering.
While fear and hate develops in between mixed-race couples, family and the people around them, positive impact still within it;
- having an incredible experience with someone you love like learning another culture and religion, in this way, as a person you will grow more stronger and will be an example to others that all human beings are the same no matter what the color will be.
According to Kingston, mixed race creates a force field of two you couldn’t look away from, when she described Layton and Chow hit in the dance floor when they first met. Jack Layton and Olivia Chow is Canada’s NDP star mixed-race couple. Kingston added, “They were truly urban modern people who believed, you don’t just tolerate difference, you celebrate it.”
Interracial marriage has been proven for so many times, that the chemistry is so strong because it reflects the aspect of diversity of life not only in Canada and US but all over the world. This type of relationships will connect people across the line and blazed a unique trail exemplifying social equality which is considered a beneficial outcome not only to the relationship but on to the society and family as well. Interracial romance above all, is very exciting because there are new things to discover and it can bring more colorful family history.
8th Years Anniversary
We just celebrated our 8th years wedding anniversary on the month of June. Though, we have so many downs rather than ups but we managed to carry it on and we have survived this long. We are blessed with two children, a boy and a girl and there is one baby boy coming on the month of September.