ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Mommas Boy: The Man We Love and Their Relationship With His Mother

Updated on June 9, 2015

Ah men, we love them. But do we have to love their mother too?

Be careful how you answer that or at least don’t answer it with him in earshot.

When I first met my ex-boyfriend, and I emphasize EX. I admired the respect and love he had for his mother. He would call her at least three times a week, send her cards and even make special trips to see her. I felt that if he was this kind to his mother, surely he would treat me the same and our future daughters. Right?

WRONG

Don’t misunderstand me, he treated me with the highest regard. But all to soon it became very clear that I was second on his list of the women he loved.

Mothers and sons have a very unique relationship. From the day they welcome their new arrival into the world; a bond is set. This is who he learns what love is, what it is to be cared for and about, this is where your “man” learns he’s “mommas special baby boy.”

Is He a Mommas Boy or Not

So how do we know if this man is truly a momma boy or just loves his mother? Let's look at this closer. Answer these questions:

  1. Talking to his mother a couple times or even everyday is fine as long as there is a boundary. But does he freak out if and panic that he didn't call and is worried that mom will be mad?
  2. If his mother calls while you are out to dinner and says she needs him for something basically trivial, does he tell you he has to go?
  3. He has a cold, does mom come over to care for him?
  4. If you have a fight, does he call mom for advise?
  5. Is his mom his best friend?

 

Notorious Momma Boy- Frank The Entertainer

How To Compete With His Mother

Alright, you still reading, that must mean you answered yes to at least one. So how do you compete with his mother? She has had him his entire life?

Well, there is a couple suggestions.

  • Spend Time With Her- I know, just what you didn't want to hear. But, if you spend time with her maybe you won't see her as such a threat. Plus, she may see you as a competent replacement, so to speak. I also advise you to spend time with her alone. Go have coffee or shopping. This can put aside feelings of isolation and make you a valid part of the family.
  • Talk to Him- Honesty is best. Don't give him an ultimatum as you may not like the choice. But do tell him in a considerate way that, 'while you respect the fact he loves his mother and they have a close relationship, you feel it is interfering with your relationship.'
  • Compare Him To Your Father- Childish? Yes,may be a little, but he'll get the point. You cannot compare to the way his mom does things, maybe he needs to hear he isn't up to your dad. So, mention things to him that would make him just like your father.

 

Life Goes On

Being with a "mommas boy" is frustrating. You never knew you would be second place in your relationship. But you fell in love with this man for a reason. I'm almost willing to bet the reason was not his mother, so don't make his mother the reason to leave.

Answer these questions

Has your man put his mother before you?

See results

Does his mother give him advise on your relationship?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Rain 5 years ago

      i married a mama's boy.... i hate it.

      His mom always come before me and our daughter and she is interfering as well.

      He can't hang out with me and our daughter on a sunday because he complains he is bored but he can spend an entire weekend with his mommy.

      we're currently separated, his mother is partially the reason.

    • profile image

      Shefali 7 years ago

      I dun kno...i've been dating a mumma's boy since quite long and the worst thing is wen he's wi his mum he does nt want to speak to me ...His mum calls up almost n no. of tyms....he never avoids his mums call on me...whereas he can certainly avoid ma call on her mum..sick n tired of the interference...It is nt lyk dat , dat her mum dozent lyk me ...she lyks me..n i lyk her 2...but he's nt able to make balance...sumtyms i feel dat is he tryin to make me feel dat i dnt respect ma parents...especially ma mum....sumtyms i really feel lyk givin him d worst f treatments...

    • profile image

      jokupella 7 years ago

      I'm dating a Momma's boy and I HATE IT.

      He has low self-esteem because of her. He does stuff to piss me off on purpose, because SHE told him to. She's called me ugly and fat.. and he didn't say SHIT.

      I love him too much to let him go.

    • ahostagesituation profile image

      SJ 7 years ago

      I've managed to date only one momma's boy. To be fair she was a pretty spectacular woman, we liked each other. But at the end of the day...when it came right down to it, I really wasn't up for competing with her for him.

    • PaulaHenry1 profile image
      Author

      PaulaHenry1 7 years ago from America

      I beg to differ. I feel they become more clingy and needy as that what momma gave them and they are accustom to it. Thanks for the comment!

    • padmendra profile image

      PADMENDRA S R 7 years ago from DELHI/NCR

      Momma's boy are less protective and committed towards their spouse. It is true and most of us know that those who are deeply attached to their mom's are not loyal towards their wife. Their dealing with them is not up to the mark and most of the times they keep on complaining or harassing their wife. The basic cause behind it is due to the fact that their emotions is controlled by their mothers and the part of life to be played by their wife at certain stage is played by their mothers. The people of this kind don't actually need the closeness or emotional touch.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)