Monkey In The Middle

I know my more personal blogs are not as big of a hit as my poetry but this one needs to be written for my sake, not for hub accolades. So please bear with me as let off a little steam, share what's on my mind and definitely bugging me as we go into 2019. If this isn't what your into skip this one I will have more creative writing to come.

I have always told the people in my life call me corn I am all ears to listen to whatever's going on in your life. I always finish with remember that I am just a piece of swiss as in I do not take sides. Well, it turns out that I am learning the hard way that the older I get the harder it becomes to be that way for my family. If you read any of my other more personal life stories I am a train wreck when it comes to emotion-based interactions. I have said before I don't know if it's because of having ADD or what. So as good as I am with listening to others and staying neutral I handling such things personally I suck at. And today I found I can no longer do this for my family. When your the person who just wants the family to get along even though divided I guess you're bound to slip up. And its at that point you realize you need to reevaluate yourself before you go any further. You have grown and matured enough to know that you care to much about the parties involved to remain neutral. Staying out is hard than being in sometimes. You think what if I drive my car off a cliff will that wake them up get them to see. Yeah, that's not an option I don't live near a cliff. Whose to say they will wake up, I wouldn't be around to witness it anyway. So when you're a good ear of corn who can't stay out and can't be neutral anymore, what do you do? Its a really good question isn't it? All I want is for people to be accountable for what they tell me and be responsible for themselves. I want to them to realize who they used to be was great and that I don't like how they changed. I am not stuck in the past, I get that we constantly grow, mature and our priorities change. As much as I get it I just have one thing to say, you can still be the person you have always been inside, can you not? I'm not sure this will ever be published no one really wants to hear it. But I can say this there is a table in my house that we used sit around no matter what was going on we sat there at that table for a few minutes we loved and respected one another. So what're a few more hours of the same. We all have an expiration date so there's not much life. What's it gonna take to get from here to the "table" cuz if there one thing I could wish for it would be us at the table.