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Monogamy and the big challenge of this surplus of Women in the world today

Updated on December 31, 2010
What Happy Families know
What Happy Families know
Notable Leader with his Fourth wife
Notable Leader with his Fourth wife

Monogamy implies one man, one woman in marriage. Monogamy is as old as Adam and  the only right form of marriage acceptable to God .According to the Christian Bible,Adam and Eve started the origin of mankind through monogamy. The practice of faithful monogamy stipulates that a man can marry only one wife at any one time in his life.

Even though the various forms of marriages have been practiced through the generations, monogamy has emerged to become law in some countries today, such that the legal registration of more than one wife become a violation. In Europe and North America, monogamy is the rule rather than the exception. Most Africans, South of the Sahara, are monogamous.

But animists and Moslems however endorse polygamy as a matter of course. The reason for multiple wives in Islam was not to satisfy men desire but for the welfare of the widows and the orphans of the wars. During war times, many women are unable to find husbands, and they might prefer to be a co-wife than no wife.

   With a proliferation of eligible spinsters roaming the streets, the old time abhorred practice of homosexuality which is once again fighting for recognition and acceptance. Monogamy is perpetually threatened. Sugar daddies and mummies invade the sanctity of homes. Casanovas are all over the place. The other woman has no conscience. Materialism is the vogue as sexual promiscuity prevails.

Should society really encourage monogamy when bridegrooms are in short supply? Who will marry the surplus women? Husband and wives are crazy about sexual varieties which they regard as the spice of life. Infidelity and adultery are ubiquitous. Spouses flirt for flimsy reasons to satisfy their libido. Consorts no longer see fornication outside the home as bad in a world tainted by social permissiveness. Anything goes!!

The inability of most people to maintain the level of honest communication and passion for respect (love) necessitate such multiplicity of relationships. Lack of trust and infighting, if one member of the group starts playing favorites or holding secrets back from part from the other, that is when strains start to develop.

I interviewed a middle age man recently; read  what he said about this subject:



Sir, everybody in your lineage stick to monogamy but, yours is reverse.

Middle age man:

Everyone is different and what works for some will not work for others.

I was 100% faithful to my first wife. She constantly accused me of cheating but I never did.

I told my second wife that I was a loyal as a puppy dog and if she scratched my belly I would never stray. She didn’t, and I did.

My third wife, I only cheated after she accused me of it. I figured if I had to listen to her accuse me of something I hadn’t done I might as well go do it and get my money’s worth.

I doubt that I would ever be faithful to any one woman but I will be honest in my intentions.

I have known polygamous couples and it seems to work for them, who are we to judge?

      Well, the  message is clear, the man said, you shouldn’t judge.

            Whatever  the circumstances, monogamy seems a better option to polygamy. Plural marriages breed domestic conflicts between bevies of contending wives, half brothers and half sisters. Think of the financial burden of keeping such a large family. The children don't have as much one on one time with their dad. The wives may have to be content with little quality time with their husband.

Men in polygamy suffer the permanent agony of stress and tension. There's a lot of social resentment. There is no respite in polygamy. In some societies, they force marriage of underage girls to old men. Someone being forced into anything against their will is wrong.

            Couples in monogamy should make the best of the marital accord. They should convert the purported boredom to romance, discord of amity and infidelity to faithfulness. All that is required is personal discipline and sheer determination.

The most effective means to escape the HIV infection is faithfulness to one partner. Monogamists should uphold the sacred marital vow: ‘To have and to hold, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us apart``.

Think also of the stigma associated with it in most countries of the world. Think of some health challenges; VVF and Child mortality etc


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