Most Men Are "Pushed" Into Extra-Marital Affairs by Their Wives-Study Says
Nagging, hostility, Insecurity and sexual deprivation by their wives are among the reasons why most men opt to have extra-marital affairs. This is according to a new study published in The Journal of Sex Research.
In this study, the authors conducted a survey of 495 men with an average of 20 years and asked the participants whether they cheated in their relationships and the reasons that compelled them to do so. Taking into consideration that the survey was chiefly open ended, the authors grouped the responses by commonality to establish common motivations for infidelity in men. The study duration was six months.
Key reasons given by responses for cheating include lack of love and respect, constant nagging, hostility, and sexual deprivation by their wives.
“It is unfortunate that some women use sex either as a punishment or as a tool for blackmailing their partners into giving in to some favors. There are also others who withhold sex from their partners for flimsy reasons such as being tired all the time. However, most men are particularly vulnerable to sexual temptations if deprived for long” observed Dr. Rhonda Milrad the lead researcher and also professor at Leeds University.
In essence, 77 percent of the responses either explicitly stated “my wife bores me with her incessant nagging over flimsy issues and therefore, I feel uncomfortable staying with her” or eluded it in different ways. This includes being troublesome, disrepective, hostile, boring, or unintelligent in the kind of questions or conversations she posts, leading to dwindling of love and affection. On the contrary, these men were comfortable with side-chicks or secret lovers because they made them feel appreciated, loved, and were friendly to be with.
According to Dr Rhonda, men will get inclined to partners whom they feel comfortable being with as opposed to those who give them stress. They would rather spend time with that side-chick than with a wife who gives them trouble each time they are around. He also says that a man is like a child and want to feel special, the more you pamper him, the more closer to you he will become.
Respondents also said that in most cases, wives can be blamed for dwindling love on the part of the man due to their behavior and actions. They claim that they lose love because of being neglected, bored and being invincible in their own houses despite their contributions.
“Imagine you are the one who is paying rent, food, school fees for children and other bills yet what you get in return is insults, and incessant criticisms. You will definitely feel bored in your house and probably look for a place where your spirits can be raised. This is why some men spend a lot of time in bars with one beer while others get lost in a “friendly” woman’s house.
According to Dr. Caroline Madden, a family and marriage therapist, when men feel rejected, unappreciated, or hurt but do not want to break the marriage, and they consider cheating as the best way to receive the attention they yearn to have.
Too much and unnecessary suspicion is also another factor as claimed by a respondent,
The marriage counselor also argues that if your wife is too suspicious and keeps on mistrusting you even when there are no reason at all, even the little love you had for her will begin fading away. If the partner accuses you of infidelity yet you know you are innocent, you will want to actualize it as part of revenging for the false accusations” revealed one of the respondents adding “that this is how insecure wives have driven their innocent men into infidelity and eventually losing them to other women who are keen to take responsibility on them.
The study also noted that on the contrary, men whose wives allowed them to have sex as they desired, were less nagging and appreciative were less likely to cheat.
However, according to Dr. Rhonda Milrad, there are still men who can cheat irrespective of the circumstances, but the percentage is lower.