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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
The special relationship between a mother and daughter and the sacred bond that they share
When we think of a mother we often envision a person who is nurturing, wise, loving, strict, patient, and who will take care of us. Women are the people who pass on the traditions, the family recipes, religious values, antidotes and stories of their lives. They are the glue that holds most families together and mothers and daughter often have a bond that is deeper than just mother and daughter, but years of family traditions.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger once quoted "You get two chances to have a parent child relationship, one is with your parents and the other is with your own children". The statement is wise because it lets us know that if our childhood was not great and we did not have a good relationship with our parents we get a second chance to have that relationship with our own children.
A woman brought up by a loving mother it is truly one of the greatest gifts in the world. If you did not get that chance but have a daughter then you can give her one of the greatest gifts in the world "you". When a daughter grows up with a loving mother who makes her daughter feel good about herself, loved and nurtured than she is giving the world a gift.
These feeling as a young girl become ingrained in us and stay with us throughout our adult lives. When we have children we automatically pull from our past experiences of being raised as a child and we are able to mother more easily. Children who were not mothered properly have a more difficult time mothering, but in some instances they have also learned what not to do and some use that to their advantage.
When the relationship becomes generational and the women have daughters and those daughters have daughters, all of the wonderful traditions can be passes down. Mothers and daughters go through three different stages throughout their lives. Mothers with young children, mothers with adult children with their own children, and aging mothers with their daughters.
Mother and Child
The cycle begins again when a woman gives birth to a new baby girl. The mother raises her daughter with her mothers set of values and then adds some of her own. She teaches her daughter traditions, recipes, stories, hobbies, life lessons and raises her into adulthood. As the daughter grows the relationship grows between the mother and daughter, in a good and healthy relationship the daughter, respects and looks up to her mother, she becomes the center of her world. As the daughter becomes a teenager she no longer needs her mom in the same way and the relationship takes on a new chapter, hopefully a friendship can begin. With the teenage years the trust between daughter and mother should be solid so that the daughter can come to her mom with questions regarding puberty, sex, drugs, and boys. It is so important for a daughter to be able to talk to her mom about her body, its changes and feeling she may have around her sexuality. It is crucial for the communications to remain open between mother and daughter. The daughter grows into an adult and is now ready to get married and have her own family.
Mother to Mother
The daughter has now had her baby girl and now the mother becomes a grandmother. For many women having a baby without their mother around to help them it can be difficult. Women really do need other women around them when they have babies, especially the first child.
Having a child is a life changing experience and having a mother around can make it less scary. A mother can guide her daughter through the pregnancy and help when the baby is born. Now the baby has two special women in it's life a mother and a grandmother, what a blessed child. Being a grandmother can be some of the best times in a woman's life. She has the joy of being with her granddaughter, but can also leave and not have the same responsibility as being the parent.
When a woman has a child her relationship with her mother is even stronger than before. The new mother can now understand and appreciate her mother in a whole new light. The relationship takes on a new layer a deeper meaning now between mother to mother. This is a magical time in both women's lives and can be one that is looked upon with great joy.
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Aging Mother and Daughter
This is a time when the role begins to shift and the daughter takes on the role of mothering her mother. This is a new chapter in a woman's life and is often times scary, uncertain and may feel very unnatural, especially if she is still raising her own children. This is called the sandwich generation.
For women caught in the sandwich generation this can be a time of great confusion, as she is now taking care of her children and her mother at the same time. This is one aspect of the dynamics of the relationship that can present a real challenge and that is a women having her children later in life and a mother that may get sick early on in her life. For many women it is an unnatural feeling having to mother your mother.
If the women is not part of the sandwich generation, then the daughter who was given so much from her mother now has the opportunity to pass that on to her own daughter and carry on the traditions of the family. The daughter will now take great comfort in her own daughter as her mother ages. The granddaughter will also be there for her grandmother and help her as well. The strong bond between mother and daughter will continue throughout the cycle of life for generations to come.
A Tribute To Our Mothers
For all of us daughters and that is me, who are fortunate enough to still have their mom around, I want to pay tribute to you. I want to promise to you, my mother that I will raise my own daughter with respect, courage, strength, compassion, wisdom, and love that you taught to me. This is a tribute to all moms and the beauty in each and everyone of us.
If your mom is no longer with you today and you have a daughter, love her like air, hold her as much as she lets you, say I love you to her as much as you want too, never think that you are forsaken and know that each daughter thinks that her Mother is the center of her world so cherish that, it is one of gods most precious gifts. To all moms out there spread the love!!!!!