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Divorced! and My Children's Wish List for My New Husband

Updated on September 25, 2017
Karen Hellier profile image

Karen Hellier is a freelance writer and eBay entrepreneur. She happily lives in the mountains of North Georgia with her husband and her dog.

My children, my husband and I on our wedding day, 8/1/2010.
My children, my husband and I on our wedding day, 8/1/2010. | Source


The year of my divorce was a tough one for my children and I. My girls, who are twins and were 11 at the time, decided to make a list of what I should look for when I started dating again. We had a very candid conversation in our family room one night, and I decided to write their list down, so they knew I was taking their concerns seriously. I recently found this list, and it made me smile. Fortunately, the man I have since married (in 2010) fits the bill for most of these requests, except he has never taken them rock climbing or surfing, and is not a dean of any schools!!!!

Here's their list:

1) Must be someone nice

2) Someone who like animals

3) Someone who will take us to kid's movies

4) Someone who knows good kid's gifts

5) One vote for having his own kids, one vote for his having no kids

6) Someone who likes shopping

7) Someone who doesn't live in a box (no homeless men!!!)

8) Someone who loves coffee

9) Someone who is nice to kids

10) Someone who REALLY loves our mom

11) Someone who is the dean of admissions at one of the following schools: Chilton, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, or Stanford

12) Someone who is willing to buy us gum and mints whenever we want

13) Someone who is willing to give money up to buy what kids need

14) Someone who likes camping

15) Someone who will go places with kids and do things with us as a family

16) Someone who loves us

17) Someone who likes biking, swimming, surfing and rock climbing and laser tag

18) Someone who will come to watch kid's activities like lacrosse and ice skating

19) Someone who thinks our mom is a diamond (pretty, shiny, and cute!!!)

I found it interesting to read this list and to realize what my children's hopes for my future, as well as their own entailed. I found it very sweet that they were looking out for my needs too! Years have gone by now, and the girls are out on their own, living their own lives, and I am happily married to a man who has made all my dreams come true, and does really love me, and I believe he also thinks I am a diamond...the comment which I found the sweetest in the whole list!


Chuck and my daughter Michaela when we took the kids on a trip to Cape Cod in 2006.
Chuck and my daughter Michaela when we took the kids on a trip to Cape Cod in 2006. | Source
The girls and I on the Cape Cod trip, 2006.
The girls and I on the Cape Cod trip, 2006. | Source
Taking the girls to a Butterfly Farm in Massachusetts in 2007
Taking the girls to a Butterfly Farm in Massachusetts in 2007 | Source
Yes, those are 3 butterflies on Chuck. The girls were thrilled to see them so close up.
Yes, those are 3 butterflies on Chuck. The girls were thrilled to see them so close up. | Source
Taking the girls to the Yankee Candle Factory in Massachusetts, 2007. Here they are making their own candles.
Taking the girls to the Yankee Candle Factory in Massachusetts, 2007. Here they are making their own candles. | Source
The girls today in 2012!
The girls today in 2012! | Source

Step Parent Poll

If you are divorced and remarried, do your kids from your 1st marriage like your new spouse?

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    • GlstngRosePetals profile image

      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      It sure makes things alot nicer when everyone is accepted :0) Voted up !!!

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      shiningirisheyes,

      Thank you for your sentiments. My children are grown now but I am so glad I saved their list. I remember the night they made it very well. It will always be a sweet memory!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      This is one of the sweetest things I've read in some time. I am so happy for all of you as well.

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      Yes, the diamond and the gold found each other and are shining on together! Thanks for the comments and the votes!

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      ElleBee,

      Thanks for your comment. I liked the diamond comment the best as well. Although the one about him really loving me was nice too. It was in contrast to my marriage with their father. They knew I needed someone who really loved me the next time. Children can be so perceptive!

    • profile image

      ElleBee 5 years ago

      Such a cute list! I especially love the one about thinking you're a diamond!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      It looks like the diamond (you) found the gold (Chuck) to keep you all together and happy. What a lovely ending for all of you!

      The list of course was precious and so considerate for girls so young.

      Voted up, awesome, and interesting.

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      TToombs08,

      Yes, it was fortunate that he does fit the bill...for all of us!

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      justateacher,

      Oh that's so sweet, thanks. He is traveling right now but called me tonight and said he read the hub and wanted to make sure I knew that he does think of me as a diamond. What a guy! Thanks for commenting.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      What a great list! I'm glad that hour husband found his diamond!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Congratulations on finding a husband that is not only approved of by you, but the kids as well. :) Many happy years!

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      donnah75,

      Thanks for your comment and the share.

    • Karen Hellier profile image
      Author

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      carol7777,

      Yes, this time I chose well. It brought back many memories when I found their list, and then pictures to match! Thanks for reading and your comment.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

      I read this and found it lovely...I remember when I got remarried and it brought back many memories...I am glad you have found happiness and mostly that you married a kind man.

    • donnah75 profile image

      Donna Hilbrandt 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      This is so sweet, and it is a great example for other families go through divorce and/or remarriage. Voted up and sharing.