My Fear of Commitment in a Relationship

Commitment to some of us is such a huge and ugly word. Does some of us know what it truly means? Well I can tell you, that it means that its a pledge, or a promise, or engaging in oneself. But when thought through, it depends on the situation. Commitment to me can be always going to be there for my children, family and yes, some friends too. For millions of us, the fear of commitment in a relationship is such an emotional feeling. It doesn't have to relate to our children, our family, or our friends. Commitment in a relationship is the mind,soul,body and feelings.

I can be committed to my family, friends and my children at any given time, day or night. But down right, when it comes to a relationship, I will freak. I don't have a great history of relationships I have had two failed marriages,among several other relationships that were failed too. Upon the failed history of relationships, I've had my share of being single too, and quite frankly, I had enjoyed it. When it comes to dating,or even the thought of falling in love, I run the other direction, as in the Movie,"Run Away Bride". I've had my heart broken too many times,stomped on, left to bleed and it's gone through enough I think ( who hasn't really ). As it comes to that word again, commitment, forget it. I've been asked why I won't settle down, and yes 'commit' to anyone. With my history of relationships and my heart broken too many times, my fear of that word just freaks me to no end. I see to many relationships ending in divorce, and calling it quits.

I been through it myself few times, and the fear of going through it again is something I don't want to happen anytime soon. Millions of us go through the fear of commitment. Not just myself, but as men do, us women do too, surprisingly. Though I'm sure not a lot of women fear commitment as I do these days, we are out there.I never expected myself to be so afraid of such a simple word in my life until now. Back when I was a teenager and in love, it was everything. I wanted that commitment from that one man to be with me forever.Romance was something that even back then,was so simple, but not freaks me out to even thinking about. Seemed I had usually chose the wrong place, time and yes, wrong man typically. Life went on and I kept trying to find that one place to find in my heart. One man who would be committed to me. 

I'm not attempting to hunt for that commitment these days. The fear of love, commitment, and romance itself generally is not in my vocabulary these days. Commitment is a big word. It's a serious word, and meaningful too. It's taken to heart to a lot of people. Break that, and you hurt that person, not just yourself. If you can't commit to a person, you're not ready, to move on to the next step in a relationship, or to move forward. Most of you can't commit to another, or move on to that next step. Some of us break that trust, and break that heart of others. For others, it's the fear completely of just being in a committed relationship. Not seeing anyone else, not dating anyone else but that one person is a commitment. If you're in love, there's nothing wrong with it. If you have doubts about yourself, as per say, myself, or fear, need to reconsider your circumstances.

Commitment is something you shouldn't take lightly or jokingly. You'll just know when you're ready to commit to that one true special person.Today, I'm not sure if I'm even still ready for this word. The fear still creeps me out, and yet, I am getting too old for this for my age, as  For a lot of us others, it's the fear of being hurt, as I have in my days. The fear of being rejected, fear of being hurt again by our former past. Sometimes that commitment can haunt us for a long time. For me, my fear of commitment will haunt me for quite awhile until I can overcome. As for others, commitment is something that will come naturally. Millions of us are just to fearful of that little word.....commitment.