My Girlfriend is Clingy

When I was about 22 I dated a girl who was what some men would call "needy." I used to complain and say my girlfriend is clingy. Now, a little older and wiser, I wish I had that same girl back.

If you feel your own girlfriend won't give you your space, read on.

Why are women sometimes clingy?

• It's a cold world out there. Security and love are two reasons among many that women desire men in their lives. What you feel is clinginess is actually your woman reaching out for your strength and protection. It is a compliment to you as a man.

If you feel your woman is too clingy, it is because of one of two reasons:

1. She is not the right girl for you.
2. You are not ready for love in your life.

Let's discuss these two issues in more depth.

1. She is not the right girl for you. When you have the right woman, there is no such thing as clingy. You desire to be with her as much as you can. She is the principle thought in your mind. Remember, a lot of people are coupled up simply because they want a warm body at night and don't want to be alone at parties. Is that you? It's easy to label someone as clingy if you don't really love them.
2. You are not ready for love in your life. You might love your girlfriend, but you might push love away because you are not ready for it. Why would you push it away? Let's see. You want to sleep with lot more women before settling down. You are scared that love takes away your macho character. But mostly you want to sleep with a lot more women. You might call your girlfriend clingy because you want to get rid of her, or because you want to push her away before you emotionally hurt her by being promiscuous.

Solutions

As hard as it might be, don't sleep with a woman that you don't love. You will find yourself labeling an awful lot of women as clingy. Real women want to be with men they feel they have a relationship with. You are doing both yourself and the woman a disservice by having a sexual relationship when you don't love her. Do you really want to have a trail of failed relationships as your legacy?

On the other hand, if you love a woman and you push her away, you might live to regret it. I did this very thing when I was 22. I still had some wild oats to sow. But it was a very stupid decision. She ended up finding another man who loved her as much as I did. Now I am the one clinging -- to my memories of her.