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My Ideal Partner (Humour)

Updated on June 10, 2019
I Am Rosa profile image

Rosa Marchisella is the author of the gripping "Touch of Insanity" series and the bone-chilling novella "The Greatest of Books."


At the risk of sounding like Crazy Cat-Lady, I have to confess that my cat is almost precisely what I look for in a man ... I know, I know - I can hear my mother weeping in the background. I’ve already been lectured by my brother about holding onto unrealistic expectations of men. I just know what I want in a man:

Do you have a list of qualities you look for in a partner?

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Special Qualities I Admire

  • When he wants my attention, he will meow politely or tap me on the butt;
  • He takes a sincere interest in what I do;
  • When he sees that I need a break, he draws my attention away from work so we can play or snuggle;
  • He is not embarrassed to ask for affection and will climb into my arms when he needs to be held;
  • When he wants to play, he brings me a toy;
  • He cleans up after himself, whether it's covering up in the litter box or putting his toys away when he's done playing;
  • He keeps me company in the bath or shower;
  • He never holds a grudge, never questions my love, and loves me unconditionally;

Mr. Irresistible
Mr. Irresistible | Source
  • Even though he likes to be active, he also enjoys snuggling up with me to enjoy a good book or movie;
  • He is social and friendly;
  • Doesn't play too rough;
  • He bravely confronts things that scare him;
  • He is conscious of his appearance and takes the time to make sure he is well groomed;
  • Instead of going out and "tom-catting" around all night, he comes to bed at a reasonable time;
  • He is genuinely happy to see me when I come home;
  • He is faithful;
  • He listens without interruption (most of the time);
  • He doesn't mind dancing around the living room He comforts me when I cry;
  • He isn't embarrassed to make a fool of himself to make me laugh.

Is that too much to ask of a partner? Is my brother right? Are there any men who can meet the same standards I hold my cat to? According to the success I’ve had on all the dating sites I tried, I may be doomed to live a lonely life as my cat has been the only well-adjusted male within reasonable driving distance to my home.

I haven’t given up hope, but my mother is becoming desperate. Please, ignore any frantic emails you may receive from her during her next bout of Husband Hunting for me … unless you actually fit the above criteria …

© 2012 Rosa Marchisella


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