ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My Ideal Partner (Humour)

Updated on June 10, 2019
I Am Rosa profile image

Rosa Marchisella is the author of the gripping "Touch of Insanity" series and the bone-chilling novella "The Greatest of Books."


At the risk of sounding like Crazy Cat-Lady, I have to confess that my cat is almost precisely what I look for in a man ... I know, I know - I can hear my mother weeping in the background. I’ve already been lectured by my brother about holding onto unrealistic expectations of men. I just know what I want in a man:

Do you have a list of qualities you look for in a partner?

See results

Special Qualities I Admire

  • When he wants my attention, he will meow politely or tap me on the butt;
  • He takes a sincere interest in what I do;
  • When he sees that I need a break, he draws my attention away from work so we can play or snuggle;
  • He is not embarrassed to ask for affection and will climb into my arms when he needs to be held;
  • When he wants to play, he brings me a toy;
  • He cleans up after himself, whether it's covering up in the litter box or putting his toys away when he's done playing;
  • He keeps me company in the bath or shower;
  • He never holds a grudge, never questions my love, and loves me unconditionally;

Mr. Irresistible
Mr. Irresistible | Source
  • Even though he likes to be active, he also enjoys snuggling up with me to enjoy a good book or movie;
  • He is social and friendly;
  • Doesn't play too rough;
  • He bravely confronts things that scare him;
  • He is conscious of his appearance and takes the time to make sure he is well groomed;
  • Instead of going out and "tom-catting" around all night, he comes to bed at a reasonable time;
  • He is genuinely happy to see me when I come home;
  • He is faithful;
  • He listens without interruption (most of the time);
  • He doesn't mind dancing around the living room He comforts me when I cry;
  • He isn't embarrassed to make a fool of himself to make me laugh.

Is that too much to ask of a partner? Is my brother right? Are there any men who can meet the same standards I hold my cat to? According to the success I’ve had on all the dating sites I tried, I may be doomed to live a lonely life as my cat has been the only well-adjusted male within reasonable driving distance to my home.

I haven’t given up hope, but my mother is becoming desperate. Please, ignore any frantic emails you may receive from her during her next bout of Husband Hunting for me … unless you actually fit the above criteria …

© 2012 Rosa Marchisella


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      8 years ago from Canada

      LOL @ chefmancave. They fell in love with each other :-) As for cooking - Solomon, no. The New Man - oh yes!

    • chefmancave profile image

      Robert Loescher 

      8 years ago from Michigan

      ...but can he cook? LOL I am embarrassed to say that I meet about half of your standards. Check out my "Black Friday" article for my perfect mate. How did Solomon react to the New Man?

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      8 years ago from Canada

      LOL - glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for your support!

    • Efficient Admin profile image

      Michelle Dee 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, NC

      This is too hilarious but so true at the same time! I bet your mother is breathing a sigh of relief now LOL!! Congratulations that you found your Mr. Right. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and all that.

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Thank you Angeline for reading and becoming a follower!

    • anglnwu profile image


      9 years ago

      High standards and I'm glad you found a man that fits all the criteria. He's a keeper. Thanks for sharing.

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Thanks so much, Ruby!

    • Ruby H Rose profile image

      Maree Michael Martin 

      9 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

      Oh my gosh, that is just the best formula ever! I love your ending about finding a guy, that is just so exciting. Put it down in writing what we want, and walla, there ya go. Have fun! Keep writing fantastic hubs and congratulations on the contest!

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Linda, Katrine & Claudia - Thank you!

      Best of luck to you, Claudia!!

    • Claudia Tello profile image

      Claudia Tello 

      9 years ago from Mexico

      I love the way you wrote this humor hub. I am with you, it has always been good to know what one wants in life, and that works for partners, career goals or ordering food in a restaurant. I am very happy you hung in there and found your ideal partner! Good for you!

      By the way… I am having my first date with a guy I met through a dating site next Friday. Up until now he seems quite "ideal" to me, let us hope he is the one. I am very excited. Wish me luck!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Hi Rosa, a great hub. We all have our own dreams and ideals, surely it's worth pursuing anything one desires. Well done :-)

    • Linda Bliss profile image

      Linda Liebrand 

      9 years ago from San Francisco

      Sounds like the perfect kind of guy to me! Congrats on the win, very well deserved! Votes up ad shared :o)

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Thank you :-D

    • CR Rookwood profile image

      Pamela Hutson 

      9 years ago from Moonlight Maine

      Awesome hub, made me laugh! Somebody should hand this out to men looking for women--it couldn't hurt!

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      @ Stephanie - LOL I cannot take credit for him putting his toys away. He does that all by himself. He picks them up and carries them to his box so they're all in one place. How lucky am I ??? I hope he'll teach that trick my daughter when she's old enough to play with toys on the floor :-P

      @ Purple Perl - Thank you!

    • Purple Perl profile image

      Esther Shamsunder 

      9 years ago from Bangalore,India

      Hey congrats on the win and on finding your man too! Enjoy!Beautiful cat too!

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 

      9 years ago from USA

      Well done! I never thought about our cats having the qualities we admire in a partner, but it's perfectly ture -- though I did wonder how you got your cat to put away his toys? Neither my cat nor my husband has learned to do that yet! Voted up and funny!

      P.S. Beautiful photograph of your cat!

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Green Lotus - YAY! lol I never thought about allergies ... maybe that's why my mom's been acting weird since we stayed with her .... hmmmm :-D

      Donna - so *that* is who's laughing so hard! Whew! I thought eht neighbours wee going to file a complaint ;-) As long as your hubby doesn't "mark his territory" roaring is allowed :-p lol

    • donnaisabella profile image

      Isabella Mukanda 

      9 years ago from Fort Myers

      Hahaha! Can you hear me laughing all the way from Florida? I had to, because my husband meets all the qualities you so admire in your cat, the only difference? He is human and sometimes he turns into a lion! Did you hear that roar? I think He is waiting for me right now. Thanks for writing, had a good laugh. Now I can go and relax...

    • Green Lotus profile image


      9 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Congrats on our win! Fun Hub. My husband fits you criteria too, but thank goodness I'm not allergic to men. Cheers.

    • I Am Rosa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rosa Marchisella 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Congratulations!! LOL

    • nybride710 profile image

      Lisa Kroulik 

      9 years ago from North Dakota

      I am fortunate enough to have a good man and the best cat in the world.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)