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My Long Distance Relationship

Updated on September 29, 2013

There is Hope!

A lot of people - most people I hear who talk about this, in fact - are very skeptical of long distance relationships. The only thing I've really heard from others is that they do not work. I am here to tell you that YES THEY CAN work! It worked for me and another person I know: my husband!

We met in 2006, doing a walk across the country. Because of the nature of the walk, the people who participated came from all over the United States. Hobbs (my husband's Internet name) is from Montana and I am from Illinois and we were both in college when we met.

After the walk, we each had to return to our respective homes, 1,200 miles apart. The worst part was that there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel; we had no idea when we were going to get to be together. So we had to find ways to just power through.

Buy a Small Airplane?

Ok We Didn't Really Do That...

But if you have the money and the means, having a small plane to go back and forth would be QUITE helpful and could make your long-distance relationship much easier!!

I was only in a relationship like this for six months, but it felt like an eternity. And my boyfriend (now husband) lived on the other side of the country - a 21 hour drive or two flights away. We only got a chance to visit twice during those six months, but had we had a small plane, I bet those visits could have been a lot more frequent!

Communication is Key


Talk All the Time

We were in constant communication! This tactic might not work for everyone, but I can't really speak to that. When we were on the walk, we were always together. Separating was a huge adjustment, and not one that either of us liked.

To cope, we bought little earbuds just like the ones pictured right and we were on the phone with each other almost constantly. Sometimes we had to do things like go to class and work, but if we weren't doing those things, we were on the phone. Weekends we were in communication all day long. I'm not kidding. We'd get on the phone as soon as we woke up and usually fall asleep with earbuds in.

I remember walking around the grocery store with my mom while on the phone with Hobbs. We weren't saying anything but we just really needed each other in this way.

If we only talked occasionally, it wouldn't seem as real.

Our Distance

Date Night

One of the best parts of our long-distance relationship was that we went on "dates". How did we go on dates if we were 1,200 miles apart?! I'll tell you.

We watched movies together!
Hobbs and I would go to our local movie rental places (this was before redbox / netflix), while on the phone obviously and spend the "mandatory half hour" (that's a whole other hub) there to find a movie.

Once we agreed on one, we'd rent it, take it home, and make popcorn. Then we'd count to three and press play on our DVD players at the exact same time. We'd get cozy and watch the movie "together", making comments as if we were together.

Those were great times. Of course we'd rather have been together, but looking back, those were some pretty great memories.


Could You Do a Long Distance Relationship?

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Send Each Other Stuff Through Actual Mail

Once, Hobbs sent me (to my college) a dozen white roses, and I remember them very clearly because there was a tiny error on the card.

"Happy Anniversary


I hung that little piece of paper up near my bed in my dorm, and to this day, it's a little joke between us.

On another occasion, he sent me a rosary that he made me himself, which I still carry in my purse. (It helps to be the same religion, by the way.)

Little surprises that come through the mail can be easy and inexpensive, but COMPLETELY blow someone away. What's more romantic that receiving just a little something sweet through good old fashioned snail mail??

Work out the Future

We talked about our future all the time. We did everything we could to get together as soon as possible.

What ended up happening was that Hobbs worked super hard to improve his grades and move to Illinois where he finished up his degree. Right after he graduated, we got married, and we've been happy ever since.

We only had to do this for six months and it got a lot easier when there was an end in sight.

If it's Meant to Be...

... it can be. You'll have to put in the time and effort, but you can do it. If it's true love, if you really make each other happy, if you're committed and very much want it, you *can* be together. Let me be your hope. Ask me anything! I want people to know that long distance relationships don't have to be disasters!


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    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 22 months ago

      Watching a movie together, long distance---that's so sweet, and it makes sense. Yours must have been a love-at-first-site attraction if you met on a walk! That's pretty incredible. And now you have two precious children. Wow! That's awesome. Thanks for sharing your tips. I really enjoyed your story.

    • randomcreative profile image

      Rose Clearfield 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

      Jake and I had a long distance relationship much of the time that we were dating. It isn't for everyone, but it can work out for the right people. Obviously I'm pretty glad that I stuck with it. :) You've offered a lot of great tips for anyone considering a long distance relationship.

    • Nicole S profile image

      Nicole S Hanson 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Kudos to you two! Long distance relationships are very hard and not for the faint. Happy you two made it work :)

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      I agree with you that long distance relationship can work and it can be a healthy relationship too. My husband' s job requires him to go abroad and it has worked in my case too. As you said communication is the key. And with so much of technology today it is not that difficult. Although we were like this even then, when there was no Internet or Direct dialling and we survived on Snail mails. I have been married for thirty years. Presently he is 17,000 kilometres away from my place.

      It needs lot of love, mutual trust, understanding and commitment from both partners.

      Thanks for sharing your experience!