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My Trip to Venus (and Mars) THE PREQUEL
It all started the week before Christmas 2014 when Oztinato commented on JThomp42's Hub Page about Michael Brown:
I can only reiterate: why don't police shoot someone in the leg just once if they have to? Why keeping pumping bullets into the heart and head of someone? It has to be a sign of the police feeling a sense of power over another human being, and being able to murder in peace.
Oztinato - more likely they fear for their lives. When you shoot someone who keeps coming at you you may not even know if they are hit. Wilson did miss with half his shots. There have been incidents where police can't tell who is shooting, the suspected perp or other cops. Seldom are these situations cut and dry and police are trained not to wound but to aim for the torso mass. You are more likely to miss your target if you aim at his leg which might be moving, a wounded perp can still kill you if he has a weapon. Also the police are there to protect the public who could be harmed if a perpetrator isn't taken down.
Now I suppose you would err on the side of not killing the perp even if it could endanger innocent by standers but how would you feel if they were killed by a stray bullet because you didn't shoot to take the perp down. Brown could have had a gun, something emboldened him to behave this way, the cop doesn't know what.
and then fpherj48 commented:
Wow......tsad.....I have asked the question about "killing vs. injuring" and have never received such an intelligent, logical & comprehensible reply. I am now understanding fully, the position, training & necessary reasons/policies of law enforcement in these particular lethal situations.
Thank you. I so appreciate being able to be clear & comfortable with answers to my many WHY questions.
Actually, I believe that's basically what most people search for....."Someone who KNOWS.....just please tell me why." I'll form my opinion afterwards. Happy Holidays to All........Peace, Paula
To this I replied:
Paula, as you have acknowledged, anytime you are looking for an intelligent, logical & comprehensible reply, I'm your man. Self defense, global warming, eternal life, abortion, atheism, politics...I won't steer you wrong, ... I can't say the same for some others we both know! :-)
Peace to you and a Merry Xmas Paula!
Are you dug out of the snow yet?
Which led to this reply from Paula:
tsad.....Bless your heart, there's not a damned thing unhealthy with your self-image. I could have said your "ego"...but for some silly reason, I don't like that word.....so I try not to use it.
I should have added something to my comment.....because the reality is, it's pretty important. It certainly went through my mind. I merely didn't choose to add it to my comment at the time.
Your reply here is the "nicest"/most polite & civil comment of yours I've ever read. See, I absorb information via all my senses, as well as my heart & Spirit & mind. The manner in which you shared the info went to ALL of me, making it nearly impossible for me to misunderstand.
There are times I agree with you MORE than disagree, because my brain gets it, but some of the other places of me throw up a red flag, build a wall and in general turn me off. I happen to know you're wise enough to know precisely what I'm saying.
I just want to give you a Christmas gift I hope you will accept in the Spirit I give it.....TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION:
Supposing you are feeling a bit unhappy & lacking assurance.....so you look at the woman you love and ask, "Do you still love me?" Now tsad, please choose the overall response you would like ...from 2 possibilities. 1.) Oh FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?? ARE YOU STUPID...BLIND, DEAF DUMB?? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? I'm not even going to lower myself to feed your sickness!"..........Or 2.) Smiling at you while putting her arms around you....hugging you tightly and sighing as she she says, "I LOVE you soooo much, I even think your dirty socks are cute. I've loved you since day one and I always will."
Have a wonderful Holiday tsad. Peace, Paula
And so I said:
Paula, see you and many of your devotees are wonderful, sweet, likeable, people. I mean that, sincerely and I have complimented you on your encouraging attitude, haven't I? But too often I find that this kind of people who live to be liked by everyone become unraveled when, oh my gosh, someone points out that they are, not may be or could be, but are dead wrong, misguided, repeating lies or ignoring the truth. See that is controversy and controversy breeds contempt and God forbid that anyone should do anything but approve of them!
If you think there is any parallel between the role play you just dished out and calling a spade a spade, telling it like it is to the face of lies, distortion and propaganda, well you'll just have to live with the fact that I'm not buying that, but if it is any consolation I do like you anyway and I know that will make you happy because that is all that matters, right? Yes we all should first and foremost strive to be liked by everybody even if it means ignoring their lies or propaganda or telling it like it is to a misguided hub pager.
Tell it like it is/call a spade a spade
Problem is my dear I am not obsessed with the need to be liked by everyone, I'd rather tell it like it is and let the cards fall where they may. More often than not anyone who has a problem with that need look at the facts, look closely at themselves and admit when they are wrong instead of attacking the messenger because they perceive he doesn't like them. Maybe a thick skin would suit them better than looking to hub pages for adoration and edification of their delusions.
Paula, you complimented me on what I said to Oztinato because it rang true to you. I haven't heard reply from him but how much you want to bet he doesn't like me. Why? Solely because I disagreed with him and could make a factual case why. To him I'll bet I'm "nasty". Maybe not, but that is usually the way it goes on hub pages when you tell it like it is.
Tell her JT, am I wrong? Love you Paula, I do...we need encouragers like you, just not in every case.
And then here is how the rest of the discussion went!
fpherj48 Wow again tsad.....Do you ever have me pegged wrong. I'd offer you a Flash education in Paula, but as complex as human beings are, individually and in general....that's not really feasible. At least, I don't think it is....adding the fact I am even more complex than the average.
I would like to adopt the method you occasionally do and suggest that if you sincerely want the facts and the correct information.....search for it.
You're not even being "fair" with me. You have described me as some sort of dreamer, cheerleader, naive pacifist......(I can promise you, if those who really know me could read this....they'd be laughing too hard to speak.) I AM those things some times, when I feel the need or rationale to be.....but if & when someone goes over the line, hurts or insults or bullies me (OR any of my loved one).....tsad, I would show you a "nasty" you never knew existed. So much for that. I'm not necessarily proud of this, but I damned sure am not ashamed of it either. We do what we gotta do. That's How I see it.
I'm not putting JT on the spot.....this is between you & me, my friend.
"I love you too...I do......and we need men like you, just not in every case."
Whether one is right or wrong in their beliefs, opinions, ideas.....or whether one is liked or disliked or a combo of both.....has almost nothing to do with this discussion. Not on MY part....and even you must agree I'm 50% of our discussion.......I hope.
tsadjatko "but if & when someone goes over the line, hurts or insults or bullies me (OR any of my loved one).....tsad, I would show you a "nasty" you never knew existed."~fpherj48
Well then I must assume I have never done what you describe because I have never seen you be nasty. I must say though your quote sounds more like your nasty only comes out if you or your devotees are perceived (by you) to be disliked, my whole point!
To me "someone goes over the line" when they spread lies, ignores the truth, attacks me as the messenger instead of sticking to the facts. I will not defend a friend if he is wrong, I don't care if he dislikes me because I may agree that he is wrong. I am not so insecure as to be blind to the facts just because they may prove him wrong but people who prefer to be liked often ignore the facts or don't take a a side solely for that reason.
That's fine, to each his own, the world is full of fence sitters and I'm not telling them to change. But if my nasty comes out it is as a consequence of fence sitters challenging my right to tell the truth, to confront lies or propaganda not because I am perceived to be disliked which really seems to be your stated feeling. Maybe you had a poor choice of words? I don't know but I do know some of what I say rings true with you because you are very intelligent and you are really, really well liked, and you know what...justifiably so.
Though I might not sound like it, disagreeing with you is really stressing me out, because you are just so likable, and that is the charismatic intoxication that being liked exudes, one just doesn't want to disagree with someone they like, who is liked by many - I see why it is so important to so many to be liked.
Have a Merry Christmas, and just in case anyone doesn't celebrate Christmas and is offended by that phrase they can be happy for me because I am having a Merry Christmas.
fpherj48 tsad...You have valid points, some I accept wholly, maybe some I have a slightly different slant That may be as simple as the fact that you are a man and happily, I am not. (and I'm only HAPPY about that because I love MEN.....but I hate struggle & discrimination, so I wouldn't be as happy a person as I am now, if I were a man who loves men.) Absolutely no disrespect intended. That was strictly a personal statement about myself.
There's no time for a bio here, but while I loved my mother.....my solid, constant bond was with my Dad. Now, if that's the reason, I don't know. 90% of my dearest friends are men (when they can behave themselves and NOT fantasize)
raised 4 sons and have 9 grandsons. Even my damned dog and cat are males. Yes, I adore my female friends but they are VERY selectively chosen, as well as easily tossed aside when they bring on the female drama and histrionics...I have zero tolerance for it. Having said all this, the reality is I AM a female. That could very well be the biggest difference in how we view things. So, if you'll forgive me for being a woman......I shall do the same for you being a M-A-N.
For the record.....there are probably just as many people who do not see me as likable at all. They would be the ones who have experienced my nasty side......after pushing me beyond my saturation point and made the fatal mistake of seeing my kind nature as a weakness. I couldn't care LESS that these schmucks don't like me. The feeling is quite mutual.
I never said you are perceived to be unliked! YOU did. I never "speak for the masses"......and my comment was not in reference to tsad the human being......it referred to tsad the "attitude." Now I am beginning to see you might even be a nice guy........LOL.
As for your last paragraph.......I don't apologize for being 100% NON-Politically Correct. That crap makes me crazy. If someone has a problem with a "wish" from someone, whether it be a Holiday, or some comment like "God Bless you" after a sneeze......and has the IGNORANCE to reject my display of courtesy.....I usually respond with "OK, I'll never make that mistake again......but I would like to ask, "do you have a problem with Fuck you?" Ta ta tsad.....Peace, Paula
Let me just say, like my new found friend (?) usually responds,
"OK, I"ll never make that mistake again" and leave it at that ;-)
fpherj48 hmmmmmm Let me just say......We all have our own way of communicating..........I suppose next thing you're going to scold me as though I'm 12 yrs. old.....or have just been kicked out of Finishing School for Debutantes..........
Sorry Dad......I'm a big girl now....and if you'll take a long hard look at my life......I've earned the right to respond any way I damned-well please.
Time for beddy-bye........hugs & kisses......sweet dreams.
tsadjatko Not sure what you want from me, I said "OK, I"ll never make that mistake again" I admit I made a mistake. Can't you leave it at that?
JThomp42 Let us all get along. Merry Christmas everyone!
tsadjatko Oh, we are getting along! I think what you are witnessing is like an episode from "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus".
And a Happy Holidays to all. (There I said it!)
JT, you da man!
JThomp42 Thank you my friend! May God bless you and your family always!
fpherj48 JThomp....Tsad is very very confused honey. Don't even read his comments....I'LL EXPLAIN IN ENGLISH, WITH A CLEAR MIND.
My last paragraph (above) re: Political Correctness.....What I was actually saying to my sweet & loving FRIEND tsad was in an attempt to allow him to understand how I personally feel about PC.....(because if you read his last paragraph, he tiptoed around wishing me a Merry Christmas.........like, all of a sudden he's being PC??) My last paragraph was NOT in any way directed at him! Yes, I know JThomp......silly of me to not remember that everything is about HIM.
My explanation as to my Political INCORRECTNESS was merely presenting tsad with how I react to those individuals who "take offense" when they are wished a "Merry Christmas" or sneeze and someone says "God Bless you." That sort of nonsense is something I can't and don't tolerate. Thus, I gave an example of what I might say, given my unforgivable sarcastic nature....to someone who hates the mention of God, Christ, Christians, etal.....so intensely that they will respond to a "God Bless you" with disgust.....and I go on to add what I might choose to say after that.
I WAS NOT TALKING TO MY PRECIOUS TSAD. If you read that last paragraph yourself JThomp....I'm sure you will have no doubt as to the truth of what I just told you....because you actually are not 100% defensive 100% of the time.
I'm rather hurt that he would even THINK I was saying that to him......and honestly, I figured you would delete my comment due to my unacceptable language. (LOL) and you still may if you choose. When he responded, I thought he was scolding me for having a potty mouth....which wouldn't surprise me. It never occurred to me that he thought I was saying FU to him!!
What a silly Christmas goose he is! I can't believe it.
and I hope he reads this...."Venus & Mars"...my BUTT! It seems more to me like we're married! Oh LORD FORBID!! The 2 bodies on the floor would make for a difficult crime scene investigation.
You poor man...having to be in the middle of this. Of course it's tsad's fault and now it's DOCUMENTED......he's incorrigible.
tsadjatko @ JT
~ Once Upon A Time In The Webland Called Hubpages ~ Paula replied to a comment I made.
I asked my wife to read what I said and tell me why I got such a response and I must tell you she thought Paula's response was a legitimate reaction to what I had written when I wrote:
Have a Merry Christmas, and just in case anyone doesn't celebrate Christmas and is offended by that phrase they can be happy for me because I am having a Merry Christmas.
I said to my wife, "but I wasn't singling Paula out as being politically correct, I was speaking to 'anyone' who is offended by my saying Merry Christmas and since she isn't I don't understand her reaction." To me stating she does not ascribe to political correctness is fine and excludes her from being "anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas and is offended by that phrase".
My wife said to me something like, "That is just not so, it sounds like you were targeting that comment at her. You're intelligent, she is intelligent, you know that was a dig and so does she."
I thought, "Wait a minute, when I said 'anyone' Paula thinks I meant her, yeah, because she declared about our comments 'this is between you & me, my friend! ' while I'm operating under the assumption this is not my hub page, anyone can comment at any time." I thought, but I didn't target her unless she qualified, and she said she doesn't. But she's reading "anyone" as "you"!
But then there is more. The "hmmmmmmmmmmmmm" which I perceive Paula thought was sarcasm? "hmmmmmmmm" was my way of showing that I'm a little baffled, I'm trying to figure this out but not sure what I did to elicit such a response but coming to the conclusion I must have done something bad and better not make that mistake again.
During the Hmmmmmmm you know what I was thinking? Something like this:
Look, she says Happy Holidays, not Merry Christmas. She knows JT is a Christian, I am a Christian, yet she can't say Merry Christmas to us? Why is that? Jesus Christ is the God and Creator of the universe, whether anyone believes it or not, that is why I recommend celebrating his birth and I'm not going to hide it just to be liked by unbelievers. The politically correct implication is I'm insensitive for that? Actually it's the other way around. Trying to be liked by everybody with "Happy Holidays" actually, in this case, is being insensitive to us, Christians who celebrate the birth of our savior, the reason to be Merry at Christmas, not just a "Happy Holidays" days off from work... whoopee! She says Happy Holidays, is it because she doesn't want to offend people who don't believe in Christianity?
Alas but NO! it's definitely not !!
She answers that she doesn't ascribe to political correctness! so it just happens she uses that phrase with no alterior motive, and she is so adamant I have to believe her... but then I think, if she isn't politically correct I'm not talking about her...ah but people could infer that I am, she infers that I am - that's my mistake - I need to correct this and admit I made a mistake. But wait a minute, F U ? What happened to her "Do you still love me?" test. I thought she recommended response #2?
These are just thoughts going through my head "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" which lead me to the conclusion that I think my thoughts and her comments clearly demonstrate we should both choose to "play the ...Mars...Venus card."
Women from Venus - 2,
Man from Mars - 0,
the women win (don't they always?)
and so JT,
they remained friends,
Happily Ever After in the Once Upon a Time Web Land of Hub Pages.
Our apologies JT for commandeering the comment section of your hub page to bring us two friends closer together, then farther apart, then closer together, now I don't know .....
"honey!!! can I have another one of those (hiccup) eggnogs, please?"
fpherj48 JThomp.....Confidentially....just between YOU & ME.......I just LMAO.
Jodah Paula..you impress me. ;)
Snakesmum Interesting hub - haven't heard this side of the story before.
tsadjatko "Confidentially"? Yeah that makes sense :-).
Paula, I told you 15 comments ago DISAGREEING WITH YOU IS REALLY STRESSING ME OUT,
now you've driven me to drink, have some mercy.
Hey Jodah, go ahead ask me "Do you love me?" but first how's that global warming working out for you?
Jodah Do you love me Tsadjatko?
Yeah the climate change is still moving along at a steady rate. http://www.bom.gov.au/climate/change/
I would add more links as a Christmas present to you but don't want to hijack JThomp's hub too much. Oh and I agree on your observations on the Michael Brown case, well stated.
fpherj48 Hijack? JThomp is smart enough to know these are "clicks".....he's probably checking his Paypal account! Besides....he's a nice guy. I'm sure he doesn't care if we spar on his property, as long as we leave no blood.
Jodah.....since I am not communicating with tsad for one whole week....could you please tell him that I am well aware that using the term "Confidentially" makes NO SENSE. I meant it to be funny.....which it IS. He may have eggnogged himself into a complete stupor by now...so be gentle.
Jodah Tsadjatko, on behalf of fpherj48.. " I am well aware that using the term "Confidentially" makes NO SENSE. I meant it to be funny.....which it IS."
tsadjatko Like y'all didn't notice my smiley face, laughing?
Jodah, Imagine me smiling at you while putting my arms around you....hugging you tightly and sighing as I say, "I LOVE you soooo much, I even think your dirty socks are cute. I've loved you since day one and I always will."
There. Does that do it for you?
Jodah Haha tsadjatko, I'll even let you keep those socks. Have a good one. Always good to leave someone smiling. p.s. they are especially stinky due to the increasing temperatures in this part of the world.
tsadjatko Yeah, didn't do anything for me either, don't know what Paula was getting at there but I'm going to Venus soon (coincidentally for one week) maybe I can find the answer there.
And so there you have it!
The whole truth and nothing but the truth about how and why I decided to go to Venus to learn just why it is that men can't understand women!
The Trip to Venus (and Mars) The original.
- My Trip to Venus (and Mars)
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. So I went to Venus just to see if I could better understand how to effectively communicate with women.