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My Wife is Depressed after Giving Birth
My Wife is Depressed After Giving Birth
A substantial number of women suffer from depression after going through the nine months of pregnancy. According to the US National Center for Biotechnological Information of the National Library of Medicine, up to 15% of women suffer from depression after giving birth.
Living with a wife who is depressed can be a very confusing time for a husband. Some husbands wonder, “What can I do to help my wife? How should I act so that we can continue to bond and be happy as a couple?”
To all you husbands who go about complaining that, “My wife is depressed after giving birth. What can I do? What is my responsibility in all this? How can I help her to feel better?” here are a few things you can do to cope with the situation and also a few things you can do to prevent your wife’s situation getting worse.
Educate Yourself About Depression Women Go Through After They Give Birth
Visit a credible website such as americanpregnancy.org and find out all you need to know about the depression that affects some women after they give birth. This will help you to acquire the knowledge and skills you need to support your wife effectively. Furthermore, it will help you to avoid behavior patterns that may contribute to make your wife’s condition worse.
Support Your Wife
A wife can get stressed out as a result of the lack of support from a husband. Consequently, she may get depressed because of that.
If your wife is depressed because you do not offer her the support she needs, do your best to support your wife during this stressful period.
When you are at home and you see that she needs help, ask her in a polite tone what you can do to help.
For example, you might say, “Honey, I see that you have a lot on your hands now. I want to give you a helping hand, but I don’t know exactly what you need help with. Please tell me what you want me to do and I’d be delighted to help you take care of our baby.” Let her know that you feel that the care of the baby is a shared responsibility and that will make her feel relieved and that will help to lift her spirits.
Spend Time With Your Wife
Your wife may feel depressed because you do not spend enough time with her. A new mother who spends a lot of time alone with only a baby can feel lonely and isolated at times.
So, make a commitment to spend as much time as you can with your wife during the period.
When you are with her, allow her to share her frustrations and fears with you. Moreover, do not interrupt her when she is pouring out her heart to you. Just keep mute and listen to her vent her disappointments and concerns. Speak only after she has finished speaking to enable her to get rid of all the pain and sorrow in her bosom.
Furthermore, look into your wife’s face as she communicates her concerns. Put a sympathetic expression on your face to tell her that you sympathize with her for what she is going through. Nod sympathetically when she says something that makes you feel she is going through emotional pain. Then, put your arm around her waist and say something such as, “I understand, darling. Everything will be fine.”
Encourage Your Wife With Positive Words Every Day
Your wife may feel as though the depression will last forever, even though it is just a temporary condition. That will help to reinforce her negative thoughts and feelings.
Therefore, you will need to remind her every day that the storm will pass. Additionally, let her know that you will support her every day. Taking these steps will remind her that she can count on you to give her emotional support and that will help her to feel better.
Therefore, you may say something such as this to her often, “Darling, you are a great wife! You are a wonderful woman and I am very proud to be your husband. You know what, what you are going through happens to other women as well. It is nothing strange, okay? Other women have come out of it and you will too! Things are not as bad as you feel and you will get out of it. You will overcome it!”
Then, give her some of the useful information you gathered from the website where you did the research so that you can help her see that others have come out of it and she can come out of it too. This will help her to put her mind at rest.
Reassure Your Wife Often
Your wife may doubt her ability to take good care of the baby and that may be a factor that is making her feel depressed.
Therefore, when you reassure her and make her feel that you think she is taking good care of your baby, it will make her feel good about herself and that will help her to feel fine about herself and about the situation.
So, regularly, say something such as this to her, “Darling, I am proud of the way you are taking care of baby. You are the best mother for our baby. Honey, what you are doing is fine. You do not need to do a perfect job, okay. Just do the best you can and the baby will be fine, okay? So don’t get worried.”
Let a Woman Who Has Experienced That Condition Before Talk to Her
Let a woman who has also experienced depression after giving birth, and who has effectively dealt with it, talk to your wife and encourage her. Additionally, let this person inform your wife about the strategies or steps she took which helped her to break out of the condition.
When your wife hears the personal story of this woman, she will understand her feelings better and that will help her find it easier to relate to her condition. Furthermore, she will find it easier to come to terms with her feelings and that will help her to manage her emotions better.
Additionally, this exercise will make your wife see that other women have also gone through what she is going through and so it is not such a big deal.
Moreover, when she thinks about the fact that other women have also battled with this condition and have come out whole from it, and that they are still surviving and finding some sort of happiness and purpose in life again, it will help to strengthen your wife and that will help to lift some of the gloom in her mind.
Let Her See a Therapist
If your wife still battles with the depression after you have exhausted all the strategies outlined above, encourage her to consult a professional. Try to let her see that she does not have to continue suffering the depression because there are people who can help her step-by-step to overcome the negative thoughts and feelings that are bothering her. That may be compelling enough to convince her to seek help.
Furthermore, your wife may feel apprehensive about sharing what she is going through with a doctor and so you must assure her of your presence when she goes for therapy sessions. When you are around, she will feel at ease and that will help her to express herself better so that she can get the best treatment she deserves.
If It Gets Very Serious, Let Her See an Experienced Doctor
Some new mothers can get so depressed and that can make them commit suicide or harm their babies. Therefore, if you see any signs of serious depression, or if your wife shows signs that she is considering killing herself, get the help of an experienced doctor immediately so that she can get medical attention.
Get Her to Go to Church
One thing that can help your depressed wife to feel better is when you go to church with her often. According to research, this activity can lift the spirits of people. So, encouraging her to do this activity regularly will help to lift her spirits and make her feel positive about life and about living.
Read Encouraging Bible Verses to Her Every Day
There are a lot of inspirational stories in the Bible that can lift the spirit of your wife and make her feel better.
For example, there is the story of how Moses battled depression and overcame it in Numbers 11. Furthermore, Elijah too got depressed at one point in his life and had to fight it—that story is in 1 Kings 19.
So, find time in the mornings and evening of every day to read some of these stories to your wife so that she will see that other people have gone through what she is going through and have overcame it.
Then, have a discussion with her about the practical steps these characters in the Bible took to defeat their depression. Let your wife write down these strategies and ensure that she reads them regularly so that she can remind herself of these strategies.
Additionally, every day, remind her of the strategies and encourage her to implement them so that she can feel better. Let her know that you are not happy to see her in the state she finds herself and that when she feels better, you will also feel happy.
Furthermore, remind your wife of God’s love for her, every day. Read verses and stories that speak of the way God loves babies and women, such as how God showed love to Moses when he was a baby and saved him, and how God showed love to Naomi and Esther when they went through trying times. That will make her know that God will take care of her. Additionally, it will remind her that God will also help her to take care of the baby so that all shall be well. Knowing all these things will help to put her mind at rest.
Pray for Her
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. In Bible days, He healed many people of all sorts of diseases including mental diseases. And today, He continues to heal many people of diseases. He is more than able to heal your wife of the depression, if you have faith in Him and pray to Him about it.
So, intone a prayer such as this for your wife, “Dear Heavenly Father, Great Creator, I thank You for giving Yaa to me as a wife. I thank You for the love we have shared over these past years, and for the happy times we have enjoyed so far in our marriage. Father, You are the God who commanded us to be fruitful and to multiply so that You would have many sons and daughters here on Earth. Father, by Your grace, we have obeyed your command. I thank you for giving us baby Isaac. However, my wife is depressed after giving birth. Lord, please touch her heart and lift her spirit, just as You helped Moses, Elijah, and Naomi to overcome their depression. Give her joy and let her see that she has to be happy now, and not sad, because she delivered safely. Remind her of how happy she used to be when she was pregnant. Remind her of the words of anticipation she used to say about having this baby. Let her feel that she has to be joyful and not morose at this time when her dream has come to pass. Please do this for her because I hate to see her so sad every day. It hurts me, Lord. I want her to be happy so that we can enjoy our marriage again. Answer me, Lord, and I will give You the glory for it. Amen.”
If your complaint as a husband is that, “My wife is depressed after giving birth,” then provide her with the moral support she needs, be patient with her, and try to be tolerant with her. You may also choose to change her environment for some time. The important thing to remember is that you love your wife and so all your efforts must be geared towards making her feel loved so that she can rediscover her self-worth.
My Wife is Depressed after Giving Birth
Will you consider praying for your wife if she is depressed?
© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio