My friends hate my boyfriend: What to do when your friends don't like your guy
What to do if my friends hate my boyfriend? How do I convince my best friend that my new boyfriend is a nice guy? How can I stop my friends from making fun of my boyfriend who they don't like? This post discusses how you can deal with cold vibes between your guy and your besties, without having to lose out on your friendship or your relationship.
1) Don't agree with your friends when they say bad stuff about your guy
Just because your friends don't like the guy you are dating, doesn't mean that you must agree with them. You are entitled to your own view and you have all the right to disagree when they say stuff about him that you think is wrong.
Banter and friendly humor is one thing but if you think that your friends are crossing the line when they talk about your new boyfriend, make it clear that you won't let your love life be taken for granted.
2) Understand why your friends hate your boyfriend
Before you even start thinking about how you are going to deal with the fact that your friends hate your boyfriend, think about why this is happening. Here are some of the things you should consider.
- Is there any specific thing about your boyfriend that your friends dislike
- Are your friends trying to be protective and attempting to shield you from a guy who could be bad for you
- Has he done something to annoy any of your friends
Try to look at the situation like an outsider. It will give you more clarity on whether your friends' dislike for your guy is justified.
3) Don't stop meeting your friends because they don't like your boyfriend
Ignoring friends to spend more time with a boyfriend is a common mistake that girls often make in a relationship. Don't make the same mistake because it will only intensify the amount of dislike your friends have for your guy.
Spending less time with your friends will in fact, justify their feelings of dislike. They may start developing some kind of animosity towards you too, thinking that you prefer to hang out with him rather than them.
4) Don't tell your boyfriend immediately that your friends hate him
Don't be in a hurry to tell your boyfriend that your friends don't like him. If you do, you will find yourself in a sticky spot every time you have to tolerate the cold vibes between your guy and your friends when you all go out together.
Keep this to yourself until you have wrapped your head around the whole situation. Tell your boyfriend only after you have allowed your relationship to mature to a level where you are both willing to make little compromises.
5) Get your friends to hang out with your boyfriend
If you think that your friends don't like your boyfriend just because they got off on the wrong foot when they met for the first few times, get everyone to hang out together more often. This will make everyone comfortable in each others' presence.
A few laughs and conversations will be all it takes to warm things up between your friends and your guy. If the hatred was truly a slight misunderstanding and a classic case of bad first impressions, getting them together a few times should mellow things down.
6) Tell your friends about the time when your boyfriend made sacrifices for you
If you think that your friends are hating your boyfriend because they think that he is a mean guy, tell them about the times he made sacrifices for you. Getting to know your boyfriend's emotional side may make your friends change their views about him.
It can be something as comforting as how he stood by you when you were going through a rough patch or something as sweet as the time when he didn't get himself a new iPhone so that he could save some money to buy you a birthday gift.
7) Set one of your friends up with your boyfriend's mate
If you think that one of your boyfriend's buddies and one of your girlfriends would make a nice couple, set them up on a date. Convince your friend by telling her that you have met your boyfriend's mate a couple of times and he seems like a nice guy.
If your cheeky move is a success, they both will hit it off. Now since your friend is dating your boyfriend's pal, she will unwillingly have to move over to your side of the camp.
8) Ask your friends to be good friends: Get them to support you
Real friends support each other in just about everything, whether it is everyday stuff about taking good life decisions or deeper issues like warning you when they think that your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore.
When your friends say that they don't like your new boyfriend, ask them to be supportive. Tell them that they should either give you valid reasons for their dislike or they should start supporting your relationship choices and stop hating the new guy in your life.
9) Don't let the bad vibes affect your friendship or your relationship
Not letting the cold vibes between your boyfriend and your friends affect your relationship or friendship is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if you don't want to give up on either.
Be mentally strong and try not to let it affect you on a deep emotional level. Sometimes you just need to step back and let time work its magic while you try to diffuse the situation.
10) Be patient and don't expect things to change immediately
While you may be trying your very best to get your friends to like your boyfriend, some situations in life don't have straightforward solutions. Apart from some love and care, such real-life dramas need time to iron out.
Don't stop expecting your friends to understand you, just don't expect them to understand you overnight.
11) Wait and watch: Spotting signs of jealousy among your friends
Most of the times when people make fun of you and talk behind your back, it is when they are actually jealous of you. This may be the case if you have done everything you could do but you still can't find a good reason why your friends would hate your guy.
Again, look at the mess as if you were an outsider to the situation. Maybe your best friend is simply jealous that you have a boyfriend and she is still single. Maybe your friends are jealous because you are the only one in the group to be in a loving and committed relationship.
If you realize that their hate is actually driven by jealousy, there is virtually nothing you can do except make your friends hang out with your boyfriend more often and wait for a few months for things to calm down.
12) Don't feel obliged to get your friends to like him: It is not a rule that they must like your boyfriend
Regardless of how the situation pans out, don't feel obliged to your friends in any way. It is very possible that your friends may be failing to notice how genuine and a nice guy your boyfriend really is.
Just keep your friendship and your relationship separate if your friends fail to acknowledge your choice in a guy even after all your desperate efforts. If your friends still don't like it despite having no real grounds to justify their hate, then that is their problem.
Remind yourself that you can still remain on good terms with your friends while you date your boyfriend. It won't be the perfect outcome but who said anything about life being perfect.
13) It could be a case of bullying: Don't let it affect you emotionally
If you think that your friends are being unnecessarily rude when they talk about your boyfriend in front of you, it could be a subtle case of bullying. Look out for some of these signs.
- Your friends deliberately try to make fun of your new boyfriend in front of you
- Your friends refuse to stop bad mouthing your guy even if you say that it hurts you
- Your friends don't limit such nasty conversations among themselves, they talk about their dislike for your guy in front of others too
- Your friends continue to mock your relationship even after you ask them to be supportive
- Your friends seem to be deliberately trying to insult you by insulting your choices in men
Think about these things and if you think that your friends are maliciously trying to make you question your own relationship, it could be a classic case of bullying. This is when you will have to be firm and ask your friends to choose between
- Giving you valid reasons for their hate or
- Stop hating your guy if their dislike is baseless or
- Bringing the innocence and trust in your friendship to an end