Girls, Ladies, Never Too Old, Never Too Sophisticated, Never Over Prepared. He's a Handsome Male Creature Awaiting You.
Narcissism is a modern psychological concept which many fall into to love's detriment.
Coming from the Greek root for "sleep, numbness," The root word does transmit a message. He is "sleepy or numb" as a personality; focused on self.
Certainly, Seduction Comes in Many Styles, but this one is unique.
Narcissus is not only Singularly focused on You,
With you as his Sole Focus, and Him as the theme in this Duality.
His TUNE is a Johnny One Note."It's you and me, Babe".
When you are his best and only subject, he downshifts to Me! Neighbors, friends, the World don't come up.
Neil Diamond Is NOT the Narcisist. The Real Artist Has Much To Share, as his Life Has Shown.
Romance is Varied, Stimulating, Challenging
In Greek mythology, this guy was a hero who was renowned for his beauty. In the various stories he is exceptionally cruel, in that he disdains those who love him. As divine punishment he falls in love with a reflection in a pool, not realizing it was his own, and perishes there, not being able to leave the beauty of his own reflection.
Who needs to cheer? Who needs to have a "rooting interest"? WE ALL DO.
1. Self Absorption -
This is the first sign. You will meet lots of people like this. This is where the word "tendencies" comes in. While not full narcissists, many people today play "one upsmanship". Needing constant validation psychologically, but not getting it through healthy means, they just tell their own stories and make themselves feel good.
2. Cruel and Sarcastic -
Again, they don't think they are being cruel and sarcastic, but how they relate has an automatic "put down" quality. It is as if your opinion, your observation, your input is substandard. The point here is to get a kind of self-love thrill from referencing one's own masterful identity, against the meager puny self that the other person is burdened with carrying around in their weak little arms. Narcissists are not that smart. That doesn't mean they can't be extra intelligent, they can. If their specific love, passion or avocation is how they see themselves, they can be obsessively fixed on a discipline or area of study. But remember, they don't benefit much from another's point of view.
3. Unable to Relate -
Empathy is a word you hear a lot these days. Sympathy is feeling for a person from your point of reference. Empathy is being able to actually put yourself in another's position. Empathy takes desire, consciousness, sincerity and emotional maturity. They can not relate to your suffering, or your story, or where you are "coming from" because they do not engage in the mental process of putting themselves imaginatively in other people's shoes.
4. "What's The Big Problem"? - Falling in love with your own image is very natural. There is nothing wrong with that. I think I am captivating.
This personality does not really think they have anything wrong with them. The world is out of step. They are missing the point. They think: "I really am wonderful". They are not self effacing, they are ruinously self-involved and do not see a blemish.
5. "Of course, I am in love with myself, no one else is!" -
The sad part of this personality is that they actually know in the deep interior that other people are not in love with them. It is a Circular Problem. Since no one is in love with me, I must love myself. Since I am in love with me, I don't need anyone else. Therapists will tell you that many of these types had to raise themselves, or were brought up in an environment where they were not directed, corrected or guided.
6. LIke Being Lost in the Woods, Narcissus always returns to the Place He Started. -
If you have ever been lost in the woods, it is actually amazing how you can return to the neighborhood you were in a few hours ago. They say that this is because we tend to curve as we are thinking we are walking straight. You can spend two hours telling a gripping tale of grief, sadness and torrid adventure, and end up victorious over a once in a life time challenge; you can think: "Man, this is the best story ever!"
7. Who's The Fairest of them All? -
Don't make the mistake of thinking they are the prettiest and most beautiful people around. It is a mistake to think that they grew up looking in the mirror because of their beauty. They can be beautiful or handsome, but they can look like every body else too. The message of the myth is to draw such a silly image that the "dumbness" of their preoccupation is laughable. They fall in love with their own image in the pool. Don't forget the next point: "Not realizing that the image is themselves, they perish at the pool".
"Hi, I'm Joe! I am incredibly self-involved."
If you love them, realize, they are not ever going to introduce themselves that way. In fact, they are not necessarily cocky. They can be brooding, quiet people. Don't draw a caricature of them in your minds. If you love them, have to love them, must be civilized with them and are never going to leave them, because they are in your family or your extended long term friends, just realize they need love like everybody else. In fact they really need your love. It's just that they are not necessarily going to thank you for it. If you go out of your way to bless them with kindness,
If You Think You Might Be A Narcissist - No Man Is An Island
Those who live in a world of conscious awareness and have their interests in many friends and have connections of kindness and empathy, you might think you are narcissistic. Why? Because, to be concerned with the Self is quite natural. But that is not Narcissism. If you fear you are Narcissistic, then self awareness might be shining a new light on you.
Go to your loved ones, professionals, friends and inquire. The world can be a very forgiving place. You are not here to fall apart, descend into muddy self concern and watch your life get more and more chaotic. Some people feel that chaos is the ultimate end of humanity. A downcast and neurotic personality can manifest when they see the world in these black and white terms. Try to see yourself as being a part of something. "No Man Is An Island".
"No Man Is An Island" by John Donne
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
© 2010 Christofer French