Nice Girl's Guide to Getting Angry
The Right Kind of Anger
If you are a little bit like most women, then there is a big part of you that tells you that you are not allowed to be angry. Ever. Period. End of Story.
After all, you have heard a million times that Nice Girls Don't Get Angry.
Or, if for some reason you haven't heard it because you have been living alone on a deserted island your whole life, well, then I bet you have picked up on it anyhow. It seems to be one of those things that has taken up residency in the collective female consciousness and is inescapable.
But, that part of you that prohibits you from being angry is only partially correct. For example, it is not wise to be angry over things that are beyond your control, such as Mother Nature's decision to soak your new white frock.
However, there are times when it is permissible to be angry and when in order to save yourself from exploding, you need to vent a little anger! Come on', we have all been there!
When Boundaries Are Crossed
Here's an example of when it is okay to be angry. You have been married for twenty years to a wonderful man; but, he seems to have this "mother problem". That is, he adores you but his mother doesn't. And no, actually, she is not subtle about her dislike for you at all.
On most days, she can be found following you around the kitchen, out of earshot of your dear husband, saying things like, "Now dear, I wouldn't want my son to have a fat wife" or "I always told my son he should have waited to get married so that he could have a girl twenty years younger. Men don't like to see their wives age, you know" or "Honey, I am so sorry that you have sub-par genetics in your family. Otherwise, my grandson would be doing better in school".
Yes, those are the time when you simply want to turn around to your mother-in-law, take out your rolling pin, and announce "Shut the *** Up!"
But, you are a nice girl and Nice Girls Don't Get Angry!
So, you meekly swallow your anger, you stuff it deep down inside yourself, while at the same time binging on cookies, and then you realize your mother-in-law's criticism about your weight might sooner or later become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you don't do something about it.
This is where we have to step back, take a deep breath, and say to ourselves, WWAD?
You must ask yourself what that Wise Sage, Arnold Jackson, would do.
Well, we all know what Arnold would do...
He'd form his mouth into that famous pout, roll up his sleeves, furrow his brow, and assertively announce, "What You Talkin' About, Willis!?!!?"
That's What Arnold Would Do.
So, the next time you are the target of a berating mother-in-law, uncouth co-worker, or fanatical friend, and you feel that you are losing your cool, you can coyly turn and say, "What you talkin' about, Willis??!!"
That way you can disarm your verbal attacker by giving them your own mouthful while still maintaining Nice Girl Status.
Because, the Way of Arnold is also the Way of the Nice Girl. It is that smooth, well-trodden, middle path that we can all follow. The Way of the Arnold is one of life's greatest paradoxes, but, my nice girls sages, you can use it to your advantage.
So, in the future, when you feel the anger rising, calmly ask yourself, "WWAD?"
And that, my friends, is as right as rain.