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Nice Guys Do Come Last

Updated on August 28, 2015

This is how many women want to see guys!

Hi sweetheart...wanna f--k!?
Hi sweetheart...wanna f--k!?

The Bad Studs Get the Bacon

Yeah, girls, don't be fooled, I'm BAD!

As all the bad boys and girls age, much of the “badness,” the arrogance, selfness and conceit, etc., of the young and hormone-charged, changes. Many become much gentler, caring of others, less pushy and more resigned to life's disappointments. Perhaps the main reason for this is the old way of getting what you want in life doesn't work any more now you have lost the value attached to youth and the “f—k you” attitude that accompanied any refusal.

So the new you begins to be loved by all and respected for your compliant and easygoing ways? Especially by the opposite sex, right guys?

We have all heard women like bad men and maybe scoffed at the suggestion, saying, “Yeah, but only the neurotic ones.” Well I'm here to tell you most females, at least most of those I have met over the last ten years or so, are still drawn to the “bad” blokes and tend to reject the man who show they are caring, compliant and generous.

You see this exemplified time after time on dating sites. If you want to capture an attractive women's interest, after the first couple of contacts, ignore her! That's right, don't answer her emails, because...that's what 90% of the women you will meet are doing to you!.. And it's much easier for them, because a chick with pretty or sexy photos posted on her profile – at practically any age – is answering or dumping scores of emails from panting men wanting mainly to hook up for sex...although many disguise their true motives.

This is one of the reasons we have the advent of the “Cougars” this Millennium. What's a cougar? Well, the human edition is an older, usually well turned-out older woman, usually accompanied by chaps quite a few years younger than her – who she will be paying for. The “Toy Boys” who fill the cougar's needs, a horny bloke who she is proud to show off to her mates. A little like the reverse, now much less prominent, of the “Trophy Wife” the younger woman with the much older man. (The South-American version is a big pussy-cat).

And we find men and women respect and want as friends or lovers “hard” men” who are confident and able to be aggressive as needed. I know this, because I was very wild when young and often in the soup somewhere in the world. Although much of my wicked, wicked ways were caused by an ugly drunk, (me), the resulting disgrace: fights, crime, broken relationships, are much admired by friends today. They have much less interested in my late career as a journalist and my authorship of several books. The fact I carried a .357 magnum gun for some years earlier excites people much more than the fact of the successes I had with the computer keyboard. Sad isn't it? Especially as I am generally ashamed of the wild and often violent period of my life with the boozing, cocaine, broken marriages and more I won't reveal here.

Nowadays, I find that kindness is uppermost in my character and, although it must have been latent, it wasn't 20 or 30 years ago. I am saddened by all the cruelty and waste of life in the world, especially where wild creatures are concerned. And this is the reporter who used to report on bullfights with zeal and would stub out a stogie on a corpse!

So those who maintain the leopard never changes his spots are wrong in my case, although I suppose the genes of a better mature tree was always there waiting for me to stop ingesting mind-altering substances, such as single malt Scotch by the crate.

Very unlikely that nice guys ever change back to being little devils again. I know it won't happen in my case. I'm too old to be a bad-ass anyway. So should my life be embellished again by the addition of a partner, she will have to be a softy who thinks nice guys come first, at least for her.

I didn't mean this article to be about me, but sometimes the hub takes over from the writer and off it goes laying down its own message.

“Mr. Agreeable never gets the girl. He never gets the second date after the first because he's boring. You hear this over and over again: Nice guys finish last. Women just don't want a nice guy; they want the jerk, the bad boy.” (From Ask Men)

“The idea that if you are nice to a girl, compliment her, tell her how amazing she is everyday, and really just genuinely show her how incredible she is everyday, that you will never get her to love you. Sadly, this is more than true in most cases. You know when you love this girl, and you're always there for her no matter what, and she always goes for the a-----s that cheat on every girl they date and treat them like shit? Yea, that's cause your the nice guy. However, there is nothing wrong with you at all, and the truth is that it is her loss.” (Urban Dictionary)


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    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 11 months ago from North Texas

      Somehow missed the "" last time I read this. I've read a lot of their advice to men and for a while I knew how to identify a man who got his advice from there. That was important because I didn't want to chance wasting time on one of them. If I could identify them by the way they asked for my number, and for a while that was possible, it could save having to deal with a PIA. The advice Askmen gives is sure to get you a gold-digger at best, or a nasty bit--, which is exactly what a guy following their advice deserves.

      Anyway, most men also prefer the 'bad girl,' and of course she is usually not impressed with a man who is civilized, intelligent, courteous, compassionate, and owning a great sense of humor. Nice guys rarely do well with bad girls and vice versa.

      I think nice girls are more inclined to put up with a jerk because they've been taught their entire lives through absorption from the environment if nowhere else, that women are inferior and not as important or as valuable as men. A lot of women will argue with that, but in their heart of hearts they truly believe what I have said and live their lives accordingly. Sad.

      So have you found Ms. Wonderful yet? Would be interesting to know how you met if you have. Hope all is well with you Bobby. Take care . . . xx

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 2 years ago from Australia

      Forget the bad boys with their issues and their sleezy ways! I'll take Mr Nice guy thank you very much!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      "that's her loss" and THAT is the way it is. What kind of women really wants a bad boy? Someone who will treat her badly? Certainly not the kind of woman you want to be with, she has to have a screw or two loose!

      I have a feeling there are many who appreciate you Bob, the tough guy on the outside, but the heart of gold on the inside.

      Nicely written and interesting hub.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Diogenes...Your Title is a matter of opinion and perception, wouldn't you admit? For instance, IMO, the best catch for a mature, independent woman is "a former bad guy."

      We know that "bad boy" although largely dormant at this point in his life, still remains a part of who this man is/was....but he's now a sweetheart who has grown & improved in behavior.

      Perfect!! Like a brand new car with all the "kinks" driven out of it, to the point it is comfortable and "smooth-riding." LOL......Great hub!!

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 2 years ago from North Texas

      Don't know what to tell you Sir. Studied the subject of bad boys and why they're so enticing in my Sociology class.

      And it's true that men like bad girls too. I know that first hand. When I'm nice I'm not appreciated.

      Some people love a challenge. I'm not one of those people. I don't stand in line and I don't compete. Men are always imagining women are all the same. No amount of proof will convince them otherwise. I've already put up with all the BS I'm going to and I'm loving my freedom.

      Most men want someone half their age and care only about looks and age. Being so shallow, why do they expect women with substance? Talking brains, not money.

      Can't think why women wouldn't be throwing themselves at you Bobby. Maybe they are but you only notice the younger ones that aren't throwing themselves at you? You should be looking for a woman in her 60s. Hey, Cher looks pretty good for 69, and she's still prancing around in her underwear in Vegas and men are paying to watch.

      Maybe you're trying too hard. Both men and women run as fast as they can away from someone who seems needy. The best way for a woman to catch a man is to treat him like shit. Men love that. Maybe it works with women too. It wouldn't' work with me, but most women aren't like me, as you may already know. So make sure they know you're picky. Don't be too interested at first. Some women do seem to love being trampled on. The worse you treat them (just like some men) the more they love you.

      Hope you are well. Sorry HP has become a drag. Take care . . . xx

    • Motherbynature profile image

      Motherbynature 2 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      This is true. What's also true is that nice guys always go after the "bitches". They always seem to long after the most unapproachable girls. Real women who are tired of playing games value nice guys. I met my first husband in high school. He was an overweight dude who "couldn't get a girlfriend to save his life" according to him. I fell in love with him and we got married and had kids. Twelve years later he joined me in working out and lost a lot of weight. He also lost his mind and ended up cheating with the very same types of women who wouldn't have given him the time of day before. The thing is I knew this would happen because he had a chance to get used to attention from women. I watched the attention increase as he shed the weight and started carrying himself with confidence. I flooded him with compliments and encouragement, which ultimately gave him a big head. I believe he wanted those girls all along but settled for me because I was the first one to show an interest in him.

      My current husband is a few years older than me. He was a real piece of work when he was younger. He partied, did drugs, etc. Ironically, his past made him more attractive to me because I knew that he had gotten some things out of his system. It also made me feel secure and safe to be with a man who had been out in the world and knew how to navigate the dark side. He's not naive and that is perfect for me. He admits that he went after those unapproachable bitches and ended up getting hurt and losing money. He has since learned his lesson. I am so tired of hearing nice guys complain about not getting girls because they don't see us nice girls, either.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 2 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      Hmmm, only the guys are commenting! Well, I for one think you are quite the nice guy and if we lived close by, I'm sure we would be good friends. No sex, because I have a Bob of my own (and he is a super nice guy!), but the conversations would be mind blowing!

      You and I have much in common having lived in Mexico, having diabetes, getting old, journalism, etc...

      So sorry you never met the woman who would stick with you through it all. But, you have had a good life so far and it's time to relax and enjoy yourself!

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 2 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Add Your Comment..Thanks Will, Mike and Randy. To be honest, this hub was like mental masturbation really, I have lost interest in writing on here and after 30 years of it, all article writing is a big bore. I think I did do some worth while stuff in the past, mainly about animal life, but I thank you for comments herein as was a bit ashamed of content.


    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 2 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I really miss being able to rate a Hub. This one is a definite thumbs up!

    • Randy Godwin profile image

      Randy Godwin 2 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Yo Bob, as a former "bad boy" I can attest to the truth of this hub. For some of the ladies at any rate. Ignoring them will simply make them more adamant about getting the attention of the chosen BB. Good to see you writing a new hub, Bob! :)

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 2 years ago

      No surprise to me, I knew you were a nice from the first of your hubs I ever read. Just stay that way if you can.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 2 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      The opposite is also true, Bob. I know a young man who treats women he likes as though they were precious jewels, and they all dump him even though he's very good-looking, and prosperous. But he's the same way, because he's not attracted to the girls who treat him well and openly like him. He dumps them!

      A psychologist buddy of mine told me that despite the claims of feminists, women are drawn to powerful, dominating men, and that can be physical (tall, dark, etc.) or it can be prowess, like a store manager or a foreman. Henry Kissinger was once named sexiest man in America, simply because he was seen as a powerful figure!

      Therefore, men who are too nice seem weak and unattractive. Women like bad boys because they are more manly.

      And I think men like the hard to get girls for the thrill of the chase. It's the hunter in us.


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