- Gender and Relationships
Nice Guys Do Come Last
This is how many women want to see guys!
The Bad Studs Get the Bacon
Yeah, girls, don't be fooled, I'm BAD!
As all the bad boys and girls age, much of the “badness,” the arrogance, selfness and conceit, etc., of the young and hormone-charged, changes. Many become much gentler, caring of others, less pushy and more resigned to life's disappointments. Perhaps the main reason for this is the old way of getting what you want in life doesn't work any more now you have lost the value attached to youth and the “f—k you” attitude that accompanied any refusal.
So the new you begins to be loved by all and respected for your compliant and easygoing ways? Especially by the opposite sex, right guys?
We have all heard women like bad men and maybe scoffed at the suggestion, saying, “Yeah, but only the neurotic ones.” Well I'm here to tell you most females, at least most of those I have met over the last ten years or so, are still drawn to the “bad” blokes and tend to reject the man who show they are caring, compliant and generous.
You see this exemplified time after time on dating sites. If you want to capture an attractive women's interest, after the first couple of contacts, ignore her! That's right, don't answer her emails, because...that's what 90% of the women you will meet are doing to you!.. And it's much easier for them, because a chick with pretty or sexy photos posted on her profile – at practically any age – is answering or dumping scores of emails from panting men wanting mainly to hook up for sex...although many disguise their true motives.
This is one of the reasons we have the advent of the “Cougars” this Millennium. What's a cougar? Well, the human edition is an older, usually well turned-out older woman, usually accompanied by chaps quite a few years younger than her – who she will be paying for. The “Toy Boys” who fill the cougar's needs, a horny bloke who she is proud to show off to her mates. A little like the reverse, now much less prominent, of the “Trophy Wife” the younger woman with the much older man. (The South-American version is a big pussy-cat).
And we find men and women respect and want as friends or lovers “hard” men” who are confident and able to be aggressive as needed. I know this, because I was very wild when young and often in the soup somewhere in the world. Although much of my wicked, wicked ways were caused by an ugly drunk, (me), the resulting disgrace: fights, crime, broken relationships, are much admired by friends today. They have much less interested in my late career as a journalist and my authorship of several books. The fact I carried a .357 magnum gun for some years earlier excites people much more than the fact of the successes I had with the computer keyboard. Sad isn't it? Especially as I am generally ashamed of the wild and often violent period of my life with the boozing, cocaine, broken marriages and more I won't reveal here.
Nowadays, I find that kindness is uppermost in my character and, although it must have been latent, it wasn't 20 or 30 years ago. I am saddened by all the cruelty and waste of life in the world, especially where wild creatures are concerned. And this is the reporter who used to report on bullfights with zeal and would stub out a stogie on a corpse!
So those who maintain the leopard never changes his spots are wrong in my case, although I suppose the genes of a better mature tree was always there waiting for me to stop ingesting mind-altering substances, such as single malt Scotch by the crate.
Very unlikely that nice guys ever change back to being little devils again. I know it won't happen in my case. I'm too old to be a bad-ass anyway. So should my life be embellished again by the addition of a partner, she will have to be a softy who thinks nice guys come first, at least for her.
I didn't mean this article to be about me, but sometimes the hub takes over from the writer and off it goes laying down its own message.
“Mr. Agreeable never gets the girl. He never gets the second date after the first because he's boring. You hear this over and over again: Nice guys finish last. Women just don't want a nice guy; they want the jerk, the bad boy.” (From Ask Men)
“The idea that if you are nice to a girl, compliment her, tell her how amazing she is everyday, and really just genuinely show her how incredible she is everyday, that you will never get her to love you. Sadly, this is more than true in most cases. You know when you love this girl, and you're always there for her no matter what, and she always goes for the a-----s that cheat on every girl they date and treat them like shit? Yea, that's cause your the nice guy. However, there is nothing wrong with you at all, and the truth is that it is her loss.” (Urban Dictionary)