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Night of the Ex-Living Dead ~Stephanie Bailey

Updated on March 11, 2013
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My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Have you ever gone to a restaurant, bar, grocery store, etc. and bumped into someone that you use to date seriously or casually? And since things ended with this person; maybe unbeknownst to you, you haven’t seen or spoken to them? I call this night (or day—depending on the time of day you see this person) of the ex-living dead because their actions are similar to someone who is dead but you know is still alive. This person is longer in your life (disappeared), hasn’t called, text, emailed or fax since the last time you saw them however you still see current photos on their Facebook page. Can you say time to unfriend?

When you do see the ex-living dead again there is an awkward, uncomfortable feeling between you two—like sharp hales of ice falling from the sky, pelting your skin, but nowhere for you to run for cover. You’re in an uncomfortable situation and need to escape with poise, sophistication and unobvious lightning speed.

If the ex-living dead were really mature, s/he might not have officially ended the relationship, but used the “not calling” approach to let you know. Wow, doesn’t that feel great? Or, maybe you were really, really special and didn’t even get the “slight” courtesy breakup through text or email. This un-amusing immature disappearing act is not only incredibly frustrating because you didn’t see any signs to indicate their quick and sudden departure from your life; it’s also a huge blow to the self-ego (why me?).

To keep life exciting, there is usually a time that the ex-living dead will rise back in your life—similar to a zombie movie—but hopefully without the screams of terror and pains of being eaten alive.

For me, the night of the ex-living dead was multiplied! Luckily, I had my beautiful female posse with me (always helpful in this situation), and I happened to look stunning with my high heel boots, fitted jeans, sexy off-the-shoulder top and a particularly great hair day. As I ended up at different venues, so did several of the ex-living dead. It felt like my own zombie movie and worst nightmare at the same time; everywhere I went, the ex-living dead seemed to follow me, and then a new one would all of a sudden appear. Lucky for me, my friends found humor in the situation, which of course lightened the mood that could have been horrific.

If you ever run in to your own ex-living dead, remember: remain cool—never let them see you freak out—smile, and continue to have fun. Exit the venue as soon as you can with grace; avoid running for the door (you don’t want to draw attention). If you happen to make eye contact, smile and nod hello, and for sake of conversation, keep it composed, short, and sweet (avoid drama at all costs).

Remember, whatever happens, try your best to not let the ex-situation ruin your night; there is always a reason for why things happen the way they do. Believe me, it sucks if someone vanishes from your life—especially without closure. Unfortunately we can’t always get it. In my case, I felt seeing the ex-living dead (several of them) was a reminder not only how small Denver actually is, but also how lucky I feel to no longer have the ex-living dead in my life. In retrospect, this ended up being my many reflections of my past…each a learning lesion that I have moved on from gracefully!

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      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thanks Mary for reading my articles and for all the wonderful feedback.

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      Mary Roberts Bailey 4 years ago

      Very funny. Nothing like female friends to give support in times like that. Very good advice for handling such a touchy situation.