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No Pity Party Allowed! The Story Of My Life and Lessons Learned

Updated on June 12, 2012

Facebook Drama!!!

Someone I knew years ago messaged me on Facebook,

About concerns of us not talking as much. She (I will not mention her name) also mentioned that she longed for us to have a conversation because of some family issues she had posted for the whole world to see. The only problem with that was if she had wished to talk to me, then she should have discussed whatever she had going on between people that are looking for her best interest, and that communication works both ways, to which I told her. I did say that I am not attacking her because she tends to be very sensitive at times. As predicted, she went on defense mode and said that I was, that I did not understand what she went through being teased. And she tried to smooth everything over by acknowledging that I have officially walked for my graduation over three weeks ago. Did she just congratulate me and attack me at the same time?

Then I had to give my "Real Deal"

I responded by saying that I am not trying to start an argument, but to solve her issue. I did say that I was guilty as well of not communicating with her, but she should also meet me halfway. I then suggested that she should not act like the whole world is against her, when there are people who do care, including myself.

She did not like that...

She wrote about how I shouldn't tell her what to do. And then she denies acting like the whole world is against her, and that me or no one else cares about her being teased throughout her life by others and then asked if I was her friend, why I did not went along with her pity party about asking who was with her.

A little annoyed but patient,

I basically had to repeat what I have mentioned. If someone is a real friend, they will tell you the truth. I also explained why I mentioned to stop acting like the whole world is against her: because that is what she posts almost every time about someone betraying her. I have also explained to her why I did not answer her posts, honestly. I told her it was because it seemed like she wanted some attention and validation from others, when she should have discussed her issues to people that have her best interest (in private). Not on a status. I also shared with her the fact that I was teased myself in middle school, but I took that negative part of my life and turn it into a positive by not playing the victim and became a stronger person. In life, everyone, at least once, have been wronged and bullied. It is up to the individual to learn how to deal with it. I was trying to reach out to her in a certain tone because she needed someone to be tough with her to see the issues she has.

She does not like what I have to say, even if it was the truth.

Wow, if she wasn't irrational during this whole redundant conversation, she was showing it now. She said that I was judging her. She said that I should have mentioned that in her public pity party post. She also said that I was one of the people that was never there for her in high school even though I listened to all of her problems and was on her side when she was verbally attacked online. Even though I was trying to help her out with the whole communication issue between us. I concluded that this conversation was getting nowhere and that she only wanted to hear what she wanted to hear. I told her if she was ready to stop pointing fingers and talk to me, then cool. Long story short, she did not like the truth and deleted me as a friend on Facebook.

My Final Thoughts:

I've learned that on the internet, I have to watch who I would considered a friend, even if you knew that person beforehand. Reason being, was because the internet can turn a weak-minded individual into a bold "internet gangsta" that lives off terrorizing and attacking people. If she wanted to reach out to me, she should have discussed it in either a private message or even asked me for my number so we can talk it out. Never did I thought that this person that I used to know, would disrespect me when I was trying to help her. I had to show her a little tough love because that was the kind of love that I knew growing up. I have also realized my own flaw is that I tend to want to help people that does not want to be helped. The reason why I do that is because I always want to see the good and the potential in people. For me, this was a lesson well-learned. With that being said, I am going to continue to live and learn through this crazy journey called life and keep shining. Like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

If anyone went through similar drama on social networking sites, you can drop them in the comments section below as well as your feedback!


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    • AnnaCia profile image


      5 years ago

      shaynadc89, thank you for the hub and your clarity on describing your situation of Facebook. Yes, I do have Facebook, but one thing is that I do not allow negative comments on my page due to the fact that all the ones I have there are in reality family or old time friends who have a life. I do agree with you, there are people who use social network looking for attention or pity, instead of being a little more careful in other ways to communicate certain problems. I believe experiences and situations, like here on hubpages, can be expressed in a way that we can all learn something or even assist in more understanding and recognition of a personal situation. Interesting hub. Voted up

    • michememe profile image

      Miche Wro 

      6 years ago

      FB gives people a lot of courage. Instead she could have asked what's your number because I need to discuss some things with you. FB is full of drama and I find myself on there less than before. However, I will state it also have good things when reading reassuring affirmations on status updates.

      This was an interesting hub. I voted up.

    • TripleAMom profile image


      6 years ago from Florida

      Unfortunately there is way too much internet drama. Frustrating Voting up.

    • shaynadc89 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shayna Cacho 

      6 years ago from Brooklyn, NY, Living in Delaware

      @Wendell Patterson Thanks and exactly! That is just something that I had to learn the hard way with people who genuinely want a solution vs. people who just want to hear themselves talk. Thanks for your feedback!

    • Wendell Patterson profile image

      Wendell Patterson 

      6 years ago from Alabama

      I have never had any social networking drama but it doesnt matter what platform people use to have their pity parties all are delusional to finding a solution. Very well said.


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