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Now I lay me down alone

Updated on April 30, 2011

I showed him alright!

You think life will just go on and on,that your husband will always love you and why not you will always love him.

We are the best of friends ,we do everything and nothing together..So the years have gone by and we aren't as romantic as we once were when we were younger.But there is a bond, a level of intimacy that only comes with years of loving.

We prepared meals together,cleaned up afterwards,oh we were great in the kitchen . And in fact complimented one another in all aspects of our life..

When we got married he had 33 cent and I had a dollar. We worked diligently to rise above living from pay check to pay check . We accomplished this as a team and life was good.

We respected one another's interest and the fact that some things important to the other one did not have to be a significant factor to the other. We did not always like one another's friends, we did always respect that friend held an important position in the others life and treated that friend accordingly.

We did not fuss and fight argue or sweat the small stuff.He loved to see me dress up and we would go out to dinner and he never failed to tell me how wonderful I look. Rest assured he spoiled me, not so much with material things but with how a couple should be when it is right.

He opened the car door for me ,even at the grocery store,always a gentleman and I loved him so as he did me as well. It is a wonderful feeling to love and be loved ,share the joys of the heart. Have someone to call and tell them what funny thing you just heard, to have someone to say i love you as you hang up and you both mean it.

We had a lot of things in common,yet different as night and day. I was a southern gal and he was from the north. He loved to hear my accent and I loved to hear him laugh. We woke up one day and realized we were living like brother and sister. After many months of deliberation we decided to divorce while we were still young enough to find someone we could be romantically inclined with, to be passionate with as we were when we were first together. Certainly after this conversation I decided yes, I should just walk away and show him... So six years ago I left and haven't ever been back, he married another and I haven't heard from him since. But I showed him that I wouldn't continue to live in a marriage where I lay me down at night with a man that has no interest in me no matter how close our hearts were.. Yes I showed him.....Now I lay me down alone.

(my daddy always said if ya gonna be stupid ya better be tuff)

Some people may not ever be fortunate enough to know  love to the degree I did,so for that I am ever so thankful . I will never forget how it felt to have known love so deeply.He often goes thru my mind and I wish him much love and happiness. I hope that I left him with something that he can take with him throughout his walk in life as he has me.He not only taught me how to love but how to accept it as well. One never knows why someone comes into our lives and touches us so profoundly on so many levels. I am grateful for the joy we shared ,but that time has passed.

A friend of mine recently said to me we are not responsible for who happens into our life, but we are responsible for who we let stay.

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    • jorja kick profile imageAUTHOR

      jorja kick 

      7 years ago from southeast georgia

      Thank you I sometimes have difficulty saying whats in the heart..You seem to be great at it..

      thanks

      jorja

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 

      7 years ago from Deep South, USA

      That is a profound story, jorja, and I love the line, "Now I lay me down alone."

      I've been divorced three times, but in none of my marriages did I have the actual level of love that you experienced. I married for the wrong reasons all three times, and learned life lessons from those marriages. In my first marriage I hung on for years longer than I should, trying to force the marriage to work all by myself, mainly for my children. Not good.

      However, from observing others with good marriages and reading about the phases that even good marriages go through, I've realized that most marriages have "dry spells" that the two people can sometimes work through and get to a better place.

      If you try marriage again, you will probably use what you learned from your first marriage to help you in the subsequent one. If so, I wish you the best (and suggest pre-marriage counseling before taking the plunge). Marriage is hard work even when both the participants love each other a lot, like each other (equally important, I found) and share interests.

      Even though I struck out in marriage, I was happy and experienced two-way love in long-term relationships although I didn't marry those times. So, I know that there can be happiness when the right two people get together. At my age, I'm happy with my memories.

      Thanks for sharing your story. (And don't give up on love.)

      JAYE

    • jorja kick profile imageAUTHOR

      jorja kick 

      7 years ago from southeast georgia

      yes...it can be hard..I tried to take the lesson learned with me..Good luck...

    • Christine P Ann profile image

      Christine P Ann 

      7 years ago from Australia

      I can relate to this very much, i'm just finding it hard to let go. Good hub

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