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Noxious Love

Updated on February 8, 2020
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When it comes to relationships people have so many options. Why would one person repeatedly settle for one that will never make them happy? Is it because the significant other is only “perfect” in their eyes? Or is it because they don’t value themselves enough to deserve better?

Time after time I personally have seen couples give it their best shots in any kind of relationship. Some couples will flourish a lifetime of happiness. Then you will have others who will breakup/makeup dozens of times. To what extent do we allow ourselves to behave in such a manner? Is it not safe to assume that “What doesn’t work the first time, may not work the second time?” I guess for some people it won’t matter. In their eyes that person means everything to them; even when they have been wronged by them over and over.

This is not nor will it ever be a “good relationship”. I wish I could say I don’t understand why some people continue to pursue someone who clearly doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Fortunately, I do. It takes a strong minded person to overcome someone who is not good for you in anyway. You can honestly love that person with all your heart but unfortunately they know you are not the one. Those type of people are users, manipulators who sometimes prey on the weak minded. You will become their beck and call because you hope to one day be their everything; you will never be.

When this sort of relationship has you questioning yourself; it’s not for you. This is the kind of warning signal you need to beware of immediately. When they want you indoors only, or at a certain time of the midnight hours aka booty call. When there phone is off during certain hours or they don’t reply to your messages as you would expect. The list can go on and on but I’m sure you understand as you’re reading this article.

If you have ever been in a scenario with someone who behaves like this; run! Do yourselves a favor and love yourself enough to keep your distance. There isn’t any amount of attraction to another person that should allow you to be mistreated by this kind of individual. If you have already had some kind of escapade with this person and you were hoping for more and it didn’t happen. It will not happen the second or the third time around. They are not the commitment type or perhaps the harsh reality of “you’re not the one” you will have to accept.

This is where the issue becomes a problem. If and when that person has repeatedly treated you like a doormat. Do not continue to be one. When you refuse to accept that they are not the one for you despite whatever stories they tell you or made you feel. You must let it go and move forward; love yourself enough to understand you deserve better. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly, loved unconditionally and supported, understood and respected. When you don’t respect yourself how can you expect others too?

Love yourself enough to walk away from those toxic men and women. Do not ever give them any reason to keep coming back for more chances to break your heart again and again. Do everything in your power to stand tall, proud and beautiful inside and out. Then and only then will you find the kind of love you yourself give out.

© 2020 Lynn Rocha

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    • ItzLynnhere profile imageAUTHOR

      Lynn Rocha 

      12 months ago from Las Vegas

      @dashingscorpio WELL SAID!!!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      12 months ago from Chicago

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you). When (we) change our circumstances change.

      If you want something different YOU have to do something different!

      Anyone who is having one bad dating/relationship experience after another needs to reexamine their mate selection/screening process. Nothing happens until YOU say "yes" to someone.

      As a society we love to play the "blame game" when our relationships fail. However the truth of the matter is some folks are NOT attracted to "nice" or good people! A lot of women go through a "bad boy" phase.

      You could stick such a woman in a room with five guys and have four them drop to their knees extending their heart towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if she doesn't exist.

      That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      She sees him as being a "mystery", a "challenge", someone who will make her have to (earn) his attention and affection. If she learns other women want him that makes him even more valuable. Beating out other women and having them envy her is a bonus! She's got to "prove to herself" she can get him.

      If a "nice guy" comes along she'll put him in her "friend zone".

      "Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us."

      - Ellen Hopkins

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