Obsession in Relationships
A relationship can be a beautiful part of life. However, not all relationships are perfect. Sometimes one partner may be more committed then their significant other. They want marriage and kids while their partner just wants to take things slow. This is normal and quite common. However, there's a darker aspect of relationships that not a lot of people are willing to discuss, obsession.
What do I mean when I say obsession? Well let me put it this way. Chances are you've read the news, or even watched a movie where someone is completely obsessed with their significant other and feel as if they can't live without them and it never ends well. Contrary to what some may believe, this is actually very common.
There aren't many people out there that would admit that they were obsessive in a relationship. Well, I'll admit it right here and now. I have experienced obsession and I will tell you, it is horrible.
So, I'll give an example scenario of an obsessive relationship. Let's say you've met someone. Right off the bat you are attracted to them and so happy that they are yours. However, your partner seems less committed than you, at least in your mind. You feel as if you could spend every second with them but they like their space and don't want to spend every second with you. You cannot understand why this is and it kills you inside.
The thing is, your partner is the normal one. It's healthy to spend time apart. Wanting to spend every waking second with someone is definitely not healthy. I should know, I've experienced this.
Dating someone who is obsessive almost always leads to heartbreak. If you smother your partner it will most likely push them away. I'm going to explain what helped me and what I think can help you stop the obsessive traits and start fresh with your partner.
In my opinion, the most important advice I can give is to try to have trust in your partner. Chances are you admit to yourself that you're obsessive towards your partner and you'd like to change but are unsure how to. To start off, you must find the strength inside you to trust your partner. If they are going out with friends for an evening, you cannot get angry and harass them through constant texts and/or phone calls. Stay off the phone and do your own thing. Try your best to trust your partner because trust is an important part of any relationship.
Another thing that I would recommend, and this may seem taboo, but confess to your partner that you are having obsessive tendencies. Chances are they were already aware of this. I know this may seem like a terrible idea, but, if you are honest with each other and you tell them about these issues then it's highly likely that the two of you would talk about it and figure out together different ways to work through your obsessive tendencies.
In conclusion, its very important that you have someone that you can confide in, if you refuse to tell your partner about your obsessive tendencies. Whether it be a doctor, family member, or trusted friend, it's important you have someone that you can discuss these issues with. If you keep it bottled up it will only lead to heartbreak.
The obsessiveness can go away with work. What I feel the obsession stems from in the first place is insecurity issues and/or low self esteem. We feel that we are unworthy and then someone walks into your life and you feel loved. But you also feel vulnerable. You feel as if nothing else matters but this person. You can't think that way. Living solely for someone else is not living.
