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The Irony of October 17th

Updated on August 9, 2018

The Setting

The setting is Northern India where the Ganges flows. It is the month of October when the calm winds have started to flow in from the Himalayas thus, giving slight shivers to living beings around. This makes them wrap in woolen clothing and indulge in all body warming foods such as Nuts, Warm Milk with Saffron, Warm scrumptious sweets such as Jalebi's, Rabdi, Gajar Halwa.

Significance of October

October is usually a festive time since Diwali is around the corner thus, is a good time for Marriages.


My Parents were one of the couples on this planet to unite on October 17th, 1970. As per the tradition, the groom came to the bride's home joined her in holy matrimony, and they drove off to my dad's home place after a quick halt at the banks of the Ganges. They lived a happy and blissful marriage of 40 years in the West of India.

“Happiness [is] only real when shared”
Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

“A change is brought about because ordinary people do extraordinary things.”
Barack Obama

“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.”
Steve Hall

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
From an Irish headstone”
Richard Puz, The Carolinian

“Those we love never truly leave us, Harry. There are things that death cannot touch.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Parts One and Two

Life after Marriage

During their years of marriage, they saw their highs and lows of financial, emotional and physical crisis. As a couple, they strived towards the ups and tried to beat the lows.

Sensibility, Humility, Compromise, Patience, Forgiveness, and Generosity were the main factors that bonded them.

During those 40 years of happy marriage, this beautiful couple bears my brother and me. The four of us made an opinionated yet supportive family, respecting each other’s boundaries yet being caring and content with each other's company. According to my mom, I being an elder sister was very possessive of my brother and made sure he would get everything after me. I would even keep a share of cookie for him when offered. I taught him his alphabets and helped him read. My brother returned the favor of affection when he grew into a darn sensible teenager and would look out for my safety in all areas.

We sure gave justice to the definition of Family by going through all the emotions of whatever LIFE had to offer TOGETHER!

Life takes a Turn

Unfortunately, Life had something more in store for us. My Dad, who was a hard worker and kept his family his priority, got sick. His sickness was detected very late since; the disease he contracted showed no earlier symptoms to be caught on time.

He was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer at Stage 4. He bent to this disease gracefully but fought it, till the end. He could not take the burden of being dependent on people and struggled with a brave heart and a smile. He had this strong urge to go back to work and had his briefcase next to the bed that used to inspire him day in and out. The disease had spread to his bones that made his pain unbearable. He used to have tears in his eyes because of the pain, but the strong urge to get better and get on with his LIFE was contagious. There were times, we used to give in, but seeing his determination to fight it; made us say motivating words to him. Until the end, he was making plans of visiting places but, towards his last few hours left on this planet, he realized that the Almighty had something else in store for him so, he made sure he rewarded all the Attendants who looked after him in the hospital and bid Adios with a peaceful expression on his face and a gentle smile.

He fought hard, and he fought it bravely but succumbed to it.

He passed away in the second week of October 2010.

In Hindu Tradition, the body is cremated, and the ashes are scattered in the Ganges. We took our Dad's ashes and spread them in this river that is considered holy by the Hindu culture on October 17th, 2010. The irony of the whole situation is the DATE.

The couple united then about 40 years ago as they took the blessings of this holy river and started their lives. Today they said their farewell along the same road and destination.


The above makes me ponder

Is the Date significant for the DEATH and BIRTH of a SOUL? Is the Date of importance when two souls unite in matrimony or are it just an ugly coincidence!

Time flies, but the question is:

Does Time Heal?

Well, my mom continues to work so yes time is flying in that aspect. Cause time becomes a killer when you have plenty in hand with no company in sight. The scars still linger. Unfortunately, time cannot heal but can make you stronger with the passage of each year.

© 2011 Ruchira


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    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      2 years ago from United States

      Thank you for your feedback, Ruby.

      will add as per your suggestions.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Ruchira, I just read your plea for help for this hub. I reread it and found it just as beautiful as I did four years ago. You might try updating it like, how your mother is doing or occasions when you miss your father. What you did with him, etc.

      Cheers my friend

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hi Lyricwriter,

      Thank you for your such detailed took me a while to process it and I hope I do justice to it.

      Lyricwriter...I want his soul to definitely keep a watch on me but, I also want him to move on and either get salvation (if he has earned it) or get another better life! Sticking on to the past is very tormenting and I would not want that.

      Thank you for your concern and best wishes.

      PEace and joy to you as well!

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      6 years ago from West Virginia

      Ruchira, so sorry about the loss of your dad. I am so glad you decided to do this for him. It is just an honor to know him this much to be honest. I want to try and answer your question, keep in mind I am very respectful of everyone's religion and beliefs. I believe this date is important to you and the family. Karma in death, I really don't know, but I would like to think no. In saying that, I do believe in the spiritual world and I am sure your dad is watching over you. If you pay attention, you may find this to be true yourself. There is always little signs. I am sure he watches over you all. Why they stay? I really don't know. Am I 100% sure. I don't know. Do I believe I feel this way? Yes. I have a small gift and if you wanted to talk more, you are always more then welcome to email me through the site. I just don't want to put it out there in all due respect. But do know, are loved ones don't always leave through death. I pray for your heart dear Ruchira. I know you have went through a lot, a real lot with this. What you did for him was very thoughtful and I am sure he is very appreciative. Best to you and your family:)

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hi 6hotfingers3,

      Thank you for your generous comment. IF you do come up with any theory, I would like to know...thanks!

    • 6hotfingers3 profile image


      6 years ago

      Thank you for that inspiring story. People need to tanke notice of couples who marry for the long run and not for convenience. Your parents and family had the right attitude and the right stuff to make life work. Thank you for sharing.

      I am not able to answer your question because I have to think about it. That is a tough question to answer.

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hello Kawaljit,

      Thank you so much for your kind words...meant a lot hearing from you.

      I agree that we tend to learn from people whom we are close to us.

      With festive season around...wishing you joy and prosperity my friend...Happy Diwali!

    • Kawaljit kaur profile image

      Kawaljit kaur 

      6 years ago from JALANDHAR, Punjab (India)

      Hi, Ruchira

      A very touching real story, a real tribute to your Dad. But the people who are so close to us really give new dimensions to our lives. It is really strange that two big happenings related to your life happened on the same Day; 17th Oct. Be cheerful......

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Well Hello Epi...always a pleasure to hear from ya.

      Thank you for your always inspiring comments.

    • epigramman profile image


      6 years ago

      ...always a pleasure indeed to arrive at your hallowed hubspace and be moved and touched and also to be inspired by your deep soulful and provocative thoughts.

      You are just hubsensational in every way!

      lake erie time ontario canada 4:54pm

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Thank you for your kind words ubanichijoke.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      6 years ago from Lagos

      So sorry for your loss. Like the biography and the story. Wishing you all the best

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Wow RHW, your dream was so clear.

      This surely indicates one thing RHW...he is out there to take care of you.

      You are in good hands my friend so, chill without a speck of frill over your forehead :)

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      I hope so too Ruby. Sure, I will let you know if I come across the logic behind it.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Ruchira - an odd thing about my dream - my dad was sitting in the passenger seat with his foot kicked up on the dash if he was just along for the ride - chillin":)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Perhaps the answer is near. I hope so. Will you let us know if and when it becoms clear? Thank you...

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hi Ruby,

      Thanks for dropping by.

      Yes, I am puzzled about the date though...I wish I could solve the riddle as to WHY? Thus, asked. However, I blame it on Karma since; no solution as yet :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Ruchira, I loved reading about your family. I'm sorry for your loss. It is ironic about the dates, makes one wonder.Take care my friend..Oh, and i believe in karma...

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hello Makusr,

      Thank you for the read and your precious comment. It was very much appreciated.


    • makusr profile image

      Manoj Kumar Srivastava 

      6 years ago from India


      Namaskar. This is one of the very emotional piece that ever crossed my literary path. Nice one Ruchira. I have seen that you can write emotional and inspirational hubs very easily. Keep walking your way.



    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from United States

      Hi RHW,

      My Dad's passing away completed a year on Oct 17th and although Time has healed many things but, alas the memories keep coming back which makes one ponder over the past.

      I am sorry to hear about your loss as well. I agree, it is such a blessing when we have them in our dreams as if; they are going to be by our side through thick and thin :)

      Thanks for your valuable feedback...appreciated it!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Very nice tribute Ruchira. It sounds kind of romantic that they lived so many years together - and parted on the same day they married. I would be comforted by that. I'm so sorry you lost your father too....I still dream about my step dad who passed away - some times in the dream it is so real. Last time - he was driving in the car with me and smiling and he said "ypure doing great in your life!". It felt as if he really had visited me!

    • Ruchira profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from United States

      Thank you Writer20.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 

      7 years ago from Southern Nevada

      This is a wonderful tribute to your Father and family.


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