- Gender and Relationships»
Oh No! Has Marriage Lost Its Meaning?
Is It Really Just a Piece of Paper!
The sanctitiy of marriage has lost is savor over the years. A large number of people just don't feel it's necessary to maintain a relationship bound my marriage. In fact, some feel that once marriage is obtained, the relationship is threatened. With the divorce rate at an outstanding, 50% no one wants to be confronted with the concept of marriage. The only thoughts taking precedence in people's minds are the ones relating to divorce. Not only that, there are many other reasons why the thought of marriage bears an after taste in one's mind.
- Women have become more independent with the notion of not really needing a husband
- Singleness exerts a type of freedom that's more attractive than being married
- People have accepted that there's no such thing as finding the right one and have choosen to live together as a better option for lifetime commitment
- Longevity frightens some people. Their frame of mind is not wrapped up in being with the same person forever and giving up the option of moving on so quickly to the next.
- Marriage is no longer on the pedestal of the long line of accomplishments in one's life. People have become totally fine with the thought of love and sex being completely separated from lifelong dedication
But despite the reasons why people are not getting married, it's still an amazing event in one's life. Done with the proper motives and values, marriage can be an extraordinary experience between two people.
Marriage is The Biggest Commitment. I'm Not Ready.
Sometimes I feel like we've all been duped. Everyone's got this understanding that marriage is the biggest commitment you'll ever make in your life. Now, while I do feel it's a huge one, there is one that tops it, children. Think about it. You can split up in a marriage and eventually file for divorce but when you share a child with someone, you're in each other's lives forever. There's no cutting ties. No final endings. And even if the one parent isn't around to partner raising the child, the memory of the person lingers. The life and character of that parent will be talked about and feelings of acceptance or hostility will eventually result.
So why not marry? If you truly love someone and you can attest that love as unconditional, why the thought of there not being a forever with this person, a concept of a bad ending?
But What If I'm Wrong?
It's always good to question your intentions when making a decision. With an impotant one like this, you really must evaluate your intentions and your foundation of love for this person. Is your love based of of attraction or sex? Is your decision based off of having children and needing support? Are you lonely and want to fill a void that you feel this person has suited? Are the majority of people around you already married and you feel awkward or incommplete in some way being the one who's not?
Well if getting married answers any of these questions for you then be careful. You misguided intent can lead you down a road of heartache and a life of second guesses when it comes to love.
But if you are in a relationship where you are willing to work together as a unit, accept the flaws in each other's lives as something you both could grow on, then getting married is the best way of honoring your commitment to love before God and the world.
Okay! But I'm Still Not Ready!
I'm firm believer in marriage. But I would never advocate getting married to soon. I understand that people need time heal from emotional hurts, grow from the physical and financial baggage of past relationships, and be willing to sacrifice selflessly to someone else in a marriage. That kind of growth takes time. But if you're willing to fall in love, you have to be willing to grow with it as well. That means being responsible and mature enough to change for the sake of someone else and the benefit of the team. Take your time and give it a shot, but please don't rule it out.
So Ummm.... Why Should I Get Married Again?
There are many wonderful reasons why you should get married once you've established that your intentions are in order. Here are five of them:
- Right standing with God. When you are married, there is a blessing that comes to the both of you as you decide to honor God with your commitment.
- Ultimate act of Love. Marriage is sort of like giving up something to obtain something much more valuable. Getting married is the ultimate way you can show your love for someone because it's essentially saying "I want to share my world with you so much, I'm willing to publicly commit myself to a binding convenant to prove it."
- Testimony. Marriage is not just for you, it also serves as a model for others who need a positive influence for what marriage is supposed to look like.
- Solid Rock. Marriage is the best foundation to build a family. It sends a message to your children that true love does exist within the confines of marriage and gets better with age.
- No title mix-ups. Marriage is the higest honor of love. You can't be confused with the friend, baby mom or dad, ole lady or suga daddy. You are the wife or husband. And that title deems respect all on its own.
My Marriage Could Still End In Divorce.
That's true. Getting married is a risk. But so is crossing the street and we do this all the time. The point is, you have to trust heart enough to take some chances once in a while. If not with the person you're with then with the one you feel is suitable or just right for you. How do you find the right person? Well that's a different topic all together. But if you have to ask that question, then it's obvious who you're with is not it. Just try, believe, and free yourself from the worry that it's not gonna work out. Cause for millions of people, it already has.