Online Dating - A Personal Experience!
Dating websites - Scams or ?
Hello everyone. I haven't been posting much lately since I was busy with this topic that now have finally published. I want to share my experiences with online dating. This had a two-fold purpose. The first being to check out stories I have heard about people getting scammed by hoards of criminals on these sites, and secondly, and most importantly, to search for a female companion to share my life with.
I joined a couple of internet sites to do this and what an experience. This is a bit embarrassing, the second purpose to be specific, since it is very personal and having to admit that I can't seem to find a good woman to date and maybe more has had me turn to the internet. But, pride is worthless and I may prevent some innocent man or woman the pain and hurt that can result if you are not careful. So, get ready to protect your heart and life if you are considering trying out a dating service.
Dating Sure Isn't What it Used to Be.
Dating has sure changed since I was in high school! The computer age has affected everyone's life, and dating is no different. In the past, if you wanted a date, you usually called the person on the phone, or asked them in person for a date. I remember sweating bullets before doing either one! With the internet, that is all gone. You can be completely anonymous while you look for a date or your mate. There are so many websites that offer dating services, and some are okay, but there are many that are not good. They are fronts for prostitution and all kinds of junk. There are only 3 services that are really considered safe. I can provide them for you privately since I cannot list their names here since it would be advertising.
Most of the sites are free of charge which looks great. The problem is that you are very limited in what you can do. Many, you cannot email the person you would like to talk to and get to know. This is very frustrating. So, in order to email someone, you have to pay for it ...and it isn't cheap! I have joined two websites and started both free. You create a profile and post it on their service. Anyone can see you, email you, etc., and you can conduct a search for a woman/man in a particular area. I did that just to check it out, but I would say that in under an hour, I got some emails from women that read my profile and wanted to make contact. Most I wasn't interested in for various reasons, but one or two I was interested in getting to know. When cupid shoots you in the butt with his love arrows, beware.
So, I wanted to email these women and had to buy a subscription to do so. Most run between $23 - $30 a month. If you get more than one month at a time, you pay less per month. Well, I paid for 1 month at $29.95. Ouch! But, I could email and communicate with the ladies now. It is kind of fun, but just like anything else, you can get sucked in fast and have to be VERY careful.
I communicated with some and we talked...some stuck around, but some disappeared a few days later...perhaps finding someone they 'liked' better. No big deal. Well, this site really wasn't working great, so went to another site. It was free, but later ended up getting a subscription...ca-ching...more cash.
Now I had two sites to check and it was better since I was finding more women to learn about. I do have a pretty close relationship with one at this point, but I can only go so far since we are only talking by computer.
Now that I could communicate by email, we talked and started chatting by an Instant messaging service like Skype. A lot of these dating sites have their own chat rooms, but most use a more advanced IM. Now, the ball really started rolling and we learned about each other very quickly by chatting online. It was really fun and the lady I was chatting with was becoming interested in going further, as was I!
Now everything is cool when you are just emailing, chatting online, etc. You still can be totally anonymous and the other person doesn't know any personal information unless you give it to them. You are safe behind your computer screen and have your webcam off. But still you can be vulnerable and this really happened to me 4 TIMES in less than 2 weeks. These all happened before I met the wonderful lady I am communicating with now.
Warning! Let the Buyer Beware
Now for the darker side of this. Unfortunately, these dating sites have been a major draw for scams and cheats, hence the first reason I even did this. Since everyone is anonymous, there is a lot of stuff going on that is just plain dangerous. Men seem to be the victims most of the time, but I am hearing the same thing is happening to women too! I was almost taken in when it first happened to me. Here is what happened to me..not once, but 4 times.
I was searching for a lady to have a possible relationship with, but the ladies were searching too. I got emails from several and this was the bait. Everyone, and I mean everyone of them were absolutely beautiful...beautiful bodies, you name it. Just like the ones in the photos to the right. Everything they told me was exactly what I wanted to hear....the bait and hook were ready for a big bite from me! They all wanted someone older that was mature and wouldn't abuse them, etc. I am not stupid, so I was suspicious immediately when a 30 year old foxy, hot woman contacted me in a swimsuit and was literally throwing herself into my eager arms! She had read my profile and I was what she was looking for. She was also not near where I lived, which concerned me and also her age was so much younger.
I will answer any email just out of courtesy, so I answered hers. She seemed very nice and we talked for awhile. This happened over a few days and she started to get very close, etc. Of course, some old fart like me was just eating this up..a hot babe...gorgeous to the max was interested in me...yeah right. But is was fun to have a hot babe drooling over me. Well, I finally asked where she lived and it just happened to be a city I knew fairly well. Somehow she knew she had to get out of this or the whole scam was over. She told me that she wasn't in that city at the moment, (nice evasive tactic since I knew that city and would know if she was dishonest). She told me that she was not in the country now, but in Ghana or Nigeria or some unheard of country.
Now I have heard about a lot of scamming coming from those countries prior to getting on this site, so was keeping my eyes open. We talked and talked and we wanted to meet. All this time she told me she wanted to meet me and come to the U.S and be together...what bull! But, I played along. She finally got bold and said she would come meet me and that I should send for her. She said that 'send for her' often and finally asked what she meant. She told me she couldn't afford to get here, but really wanted to come home to the U.S., and if I would help her. BAM!!! Talk about getting nailed right between the eyes with a 2X4. I knew I was being scammed totally by this point and we talked about the money thing for quite awhile. She was a good con artist...patient and knew when and when not to push. She did her best to win my trust, but I dug myself in. So, after days of sweet talking me, saying she wanted to be with me, etc., she turned from a Dr. Jekyll to Ms. Hyde. She really got ugly and mean... then just vanished when I wouldn't send her the money for a ticket.
This happened 3 more times...almost the same story...etc. I started asking immediately about the age difference and not being in the same town. All said, "Age is just a number..blah, blah." Each time they told me their parents had died or some other tragedy and a relative in Ghana or someplace took them there to care for them. It was almost funny and one time actually completed the story for them. That was the fastest rejection I ever got! LOL Each time we began to get close and wanted to meet, the money thing came up. They got mad and called me a heartbreaker, and a lot of other stuff. I know there are many good and honest people on these sites, but there are many cheats and criminals too.
I was lucky that I wasn't stupid enough to send any of these crooks money, but know other men and women that have been cheated. Just be careful and keep your eyes open. If your gut says something isn't right, don't ignore it!!!