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Online Dating For Men: Choosing Additional Photos

Updated on December 12, 2007

We’ve already discussed the selection of your main profile photo, and now we’re going to talk about all those extra pics you’re allowed to add. Please realize that if you add extra photos, they will likely all be looked at, so it’s important you not just toss any old pics into the mix.

And in case you’re wondering – you should have at least 1 more photo that’s a full body shot. Yes, you may have listed about average in your profile, but average is a relative term. Y’all are always trying to figure out how big our butts are, it’s only fair we get to see yours, too. So make sure you include at least 1 other pic.

Most men do this – if you don’t, it will be very easy to skip right over you.

Yes to pics with pets.

I love seeing a man posing with his dog or cat or horse. Or just seeing the pet themselves. It shows you’re capable of caring about something beyond yourself, and it makes me assume you can look after a living creature. This is good subliminal info for women who want to have babies someday – it makes you look like you have father potential.

Yes to you in a suit.

Even if it’s a few years old. Something from a friend’s wedding, something some a formal function – we like to know you’re willing to dress up if need be. And many of you don’t seem to realize how much your level of attractiveness increased when you’re in a suit. Just try it, we’ll like it.

No more than 3 extra pics.

I have seen men include as many as 12 extra pics. Don’t do this. I don’t care if most of them are wilderness and beach shots (no idea why so many men include those) and I don’t care if most of them are you – if you have more than 3 pics, you are way too interested in yourself. I don’t mean you want everyone to see you, either; I mean you think everyone already wants to see that much of you. This is not normal behavior unless you’re a photographer, and even then, if I like your pics, I can always see your portfolio later.

No pics of you bare-chested.

Oh my God these turn me off. I don’t care how nice your body is – advertising yourself in that way makes you look like a player. Don’t do it. If you’re proud of your body, mention that you enjoy working out and keeping fit. But don’t show us in your profile. Yes, we will probably find it very attractive, but not online.

No pics of you leaning on your Porsche.

This makes you look ridiculous and the only women you’re going to attract are gold diggers, cos no one with any self-respect is going to want a man who thinks his car makes him special. And if you’ve chosen your car as one of your 3 pics, you must really think it’s important. That said, if you have an old car that’s your pride and joy – an old Challenger, for example – then that’s probably ok, as it’s a lot less pretentious. Keep in mind, however, a lot of women will not realize the appeal of a car like that, and will assume you haven’t been able to afford a new car for the last 30 years.

No pics with women.

Unless you’re included a photo of a woman who is clearly your grandmother, don’t do this. Don’t even add a photo of your mother unless she’s holding up a sign that’s says that’s who she is! Besides, why would you want a pic of your mother on a dating site, anyway. We might start to think she’s part of the reason you’re single! And it goes without saying – no pics of any hot women, no matter who she is! Y’all seem to think that if we see hot women hanging on your arm, we’ll find you more attractive. This sometimes works in person – it Never works on the internet!

No pics with children.

I don’t care if your profile says you don’t have kids – show a pic of you holding a toddler and we’re going to assume your profile is wrong. Besides, I find it creepy to see pics of a child on an internet dating site, no matter the capacity. If you really feel you must include a child’s photo, make sure your profile says who the kid is to you – not his name! – just how you know him. Nephew, brother, etc.

Obviously, you can include any photos you want to include.. but these tips will ensure you're not including anything too off-putting. Good luck in your search!

xx Isabella


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    • profile image

      How to Attract Beautiful Women 

      11 years ago

      Very great points you have there.

      I saw my sis's activity on Facebook and when she saw a guy added her as friend, she usually go ahead and look up for more photos in his profile.

      And those tips you have there really taught people how and what to put as their photos in their profile. Great job!

    • profile image

      Dallas Dating Man 

      11 years ago

      Great info. According to the stats from my site. Mirror pictures are creating lots of traffic.

    • profile image

      Super Awesome Dating 

      11 years ago

      Yes to pics with pets, as long as it is a dog, NOT your pet tarantula or python. Suits are a terrible idea, from my testing pics with a suit get a terrible response rate, and your having your shirt off depends on how old you are. If your 18-22, go for it. Young girls like that. If your 28+ time to keep your shirt on.

    • profile image


      12 years ago

      I would add to this list--pictures of yourself in costume, whether that be for Halloween or some other event. I love seeing what people dress up as (sort of their alter ego, what they would be if they weren't what they are), and it tells you that they have a sense of humor, some creativity. Granted if a woman is afraid of clowns and that's your costume, it could I guess you just have to be careful.

      I realize a lot of people might disagree with this, but costume pictures charm me, anyway. And I would be all about the firebreathing guy!

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      Thank you for the entertaining reading, Isabella. I happen to be completely happy with my girlfriend, and hope that I never again have to do the online dating thing, but it's something I've done in the past, and out of pure curiosity I wanted to ask your opinion on something.

      One of the things I do is fire performance (firebreathing, spinning fire poi, fire staff, etc.). It is certainly something that would help a woman understand what kind of person I am. I have some great photos of myself breathing fire, and when I did the online dating thing I posted one as a supplementary photo. The thing is, most of my firebreath photos are taken with my shirt off, partly for safety reasons (flaming fuel soaked into clothing burns worse than fuel on skin, if one were to screw up badly) and partly because I usually perform shirtless.

      So, does the allure of a firebreath photo override the negative effect of a shirtless photo? Just wondering...

    • Isabella Snow profile imageAUTHOR

      Isabella Snow 

      13 years ago

      Cgull - Thank you!

      William - 1956 might be a little too old... lol. ;)

      Denmark - Wow, you're a giant! ;) Yes, it's a relative term, and pics help viewers decide if someone is their definition of average or not.

      Mr. Marmalade - Thank you!

      Doc - Yes, a pic lets them decide for themselves and you don't have to worry about first date shock from either party!

    • profile image


      13 years ago

      More good advice. As an aside, I would say the same thing about women posing in swimwear as you say about men posing without their shirts. If the woman is attractive, I'm certainly going to appreciate her letting me see what she looks like in her favorite bikini, but I'll also be wondering if she's either (A) totally narcissistic or (B) totally desperate. Neither traits are attractive.

      I would also like to second "Denmarkguy"s comment regarding "about average". This is how I describe myself. I'm soft around the middle, maybe even a little chubby, but I think "a few extra pounds" is a better description of me several months (and about 70 pounds) ago than it is now. I guess it's best to say "about average", post some decent and recent pics, and let the women decide for themselves, eh?

    • MrMarmalade profile image


      13 years ago from Sydney

      i like the way you are going.

      Pity I do not fulfill the image, otherwise I could apply for the position.

      Good hub

    • Denmarkguy profile image

      Peter Messerschmidt 

      13 years ago from Port Townsend

      Good point, about "average." It's such a nebulous term, after all. At near 6'5" and 225lbs, I am definitely NOT "average," but since I am pretty fit, I'm hardly "chubby" or "a few extra pounds," either.

      Have you ever done a piece on "dumb words that mean nothing?" Like "fun." EVERYone likes to "have fun" but what does that MEAN? Or someone is "nice." What does THAT mean? Or being "successful." By what yardstick?

      Good stuff, as always!

    • William F. Torpey profile image

      William F Torpey 

      13 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

      I'll need to use a picture of that was taken in 1956 when I was thin and serving in the Army. Think that'll work, Isabella? Or is it just too late!

    • cgull8m profile image


      13 years ago from North Carolina

      I hope all bachelors read this, great tips. Cheers.


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