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Online Dating For Women: Choosing a Username

Updated on January 26, 2011

Alrighty, then. You've done your homework and found the online dating site which most appeals to you. Well done. Welcome to the next step: selecting your username. Do yourself a favor and don't skip this article. It's more significant than you may realize.

  • Who do we want to attract? Is Mr. Right a country boy who just wants to settle down with a nice girl and raise 2.5 kids? Is Mr. Right a powersuit, looking to up his status by marrying a trophy wife? Is Mr. Right a wild thang, looking for a bride who'll live out of his Jeep? Is Mr. Right a lazy SOB who's just looking for a maid?

  • Why does it matter? Well, for starters, if you go calling yourself ShyGurl, Mr. Wild Thang is probably going to pass right over you. He doesn't know you've been waiting for someone to bring out that Joan Jett streak. He figures you're a bookworm who spends all her time at the local library. Which makes him think you wouldn't be interested.

  • Another example? How about DiscoDiva? If you're in the market for a real cowboy, this name is unlikely to pan out well for you. Sure, opposites attract. And you might have just the personality he's looking for. But if he thinks you're dancing on tables and shaking your booty for strange men every night, he'll probably skip right over you. Nevermind the fact DiscoDiva is actually the name of your champion mare, and you've never been to a real disco. He doesn't know that, because he's taking the name at face value.

  • Are you getting my drift here? With tens of thousands of women to choose from, a man is going to skim down the list and stop when something appeals to him directly. Your username reflects you as much as your photo does. More so, I daresay. Why? Because that's you telling the world how we should view you. And the world has little choice but to take your word for it.

  • Still not sure what I mean? Take a look at some of the femme profiles on your match site - you're bound to run into a few brow raisers. For example, I've come across the names SexyGirl4You, HotKitty and LusciousLizzie. Great names, if you're looking for immediate attention. Crap names, if you're looking to hold his interest for more than one night. I've no doubt those girls get more emails than Santa - the question is, who are they getting them from?

  • So what should you call yourself? Let's find out. Get yourself a pen and jot down everything that makes you tick. I'll use myself as an example. Let's see - Daniel Craig, Joaquin Phoenix, football, hockey, shopping, fashion, high heels and writing, to name a few. Now let's see which of those might be of interest to him. Hmmm. Hopefully Mr. Right won't find Craig and Phoenix as attractive as I do, so let's cross them off the list. Shopping and fashion probably won't catch his interest, either. High heels might get him, but I don't want to convey that image yet - he can find that out after we start talking. Sports might be a good choice, but then again, some men like having that to themselves - gives them a good excuse to get with the guys once in a while. I don't want to run him off before he realizes I'm happy to let him hang with the boys.

  • Which leaves me with writing. If you don't already know, I write very dirty books for a living, so I don't want to get too specific. Not if I want to filter the bad boys out. The idea is to make myself sound interesting and approachable. Getting specific about my genre will make me a little more interesting than I want to be right now. I need something classier. Maybe something like LovesToWrite. No? How about TheWriteStuff? Cheesy? Yeah, a little. But the idea is to stand out and give him a reason to click.

  • Once you've got your name sorted, get yourself registered. Name already taken? No problem, add some numbers to it. Do not use 69, 666, 777, 13, or anything else that might make him think something is wrong with you! And don't use your birth date either - no one should have personal information about you until you're sure of their intentions. But that's a topic for another day. For now, let's get your username settled so we can get started on selecting your photos. Ooh! Photos! This is going to be fun!

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