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Open relationships

Updated on August 19, 2012

I got your back, not your man

Couples have given way to multiples, infidelity…I don’t know what’s worse, the man/woman who cheats on the one they love(s) or the one that sleeps with the person KNOWING that person is in a relationship/marriage. Call me a prude, old fashioned, bitch, whatever you want, but I do not sleep with a man if I suspect he is married, let alone if I KNOW he is married. I know, ‘my wife’s a bitch,’ ‘it’s complicated,’ ‘we don’t even sleep together anymore’…blah, blah, blah. It doesn’t matter to me what your explanation is or reasoning behind stepping out on your partner, I really don’t care to hear it.

I am by no means trying or intending to come off as judgmental, after all, you are and should be free to do and live as you see fit, I just don’t want to be caught up or twisted in your ‘drama’. I have enough of my own to contend with. I have an allegiance to sisterhood-I don’t care if you are married to or involved with the biggest bitch on the planet, be man enough to admit it and end it or do what you have to do to fix things with her. I am not going to be the ‘other woman’ and screw my fellow sister over by sleeping with her man. Never mind that I am completely turned off by a man that cannot manage to stay faithful to his spouse/partner. I’m talking to you too ladies, because I know many women that are doing/did their man dirty. Yes, it cuts both ways, I just don’t go both ways, so I am speaking strictly from a female’s standpoint to my fellow sisters. I don’t play second best to anyone, I don’t share my man, boys are not toys, bitch, get your own.

I guess I am just saddened by seeing so many of ‘my girls’ crying over being cheated on by their man, and even more saddened by the fact that many of the women that they are cheating with are fully aware they are messing with a man that is already in a relationship with someone. I don’t understand this. I mean, I understand if you are lied to, or misled into believing they are ‘single’, that is something different entirely. However, I have witnessed countless women that knowingly enter into a relationship with someone they KNOW is involved with someone else. Why? For what purpose? I mean, if a guy were willing to cheat with me, then cheating on me wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.  

I have two teenage sons, and they often question me as to why people feel the need to cheat. .

“Why cheat?” they ask, bewildered. “Why not just end the relationship and then move on? It doesn’t make sense.”

Love, loyalty, faithfulness, monogamy, fidelity, trust…do any of these words mean anything anymore? There’s a song that states, “Women lie, men lie...” I just can’t answer or come up with a rational reason or response as to why that is. If you aren’t meeting my needs or I’m not meeting yours, why not just say so and part ways? I’m too old to play games, but not too old to still have fun…so let’s just quit the BS already and stop wasting time. Stop hatin’ on one another and stop acting ‘shady’, and creepin’ around.

If you are in an ‘open’ relationship and you are both happy with your arrangement then have at it. Own it. Get yours. As for me, I am a little more conservative when it comes to relationships. It’s not my business how people choose to live their lives or what they do or with whom.

When it comes to my relationships and me however, I want to know I am your one and only and you are mine. I may be single but I am not desperate, I don’t need to share, don’t want to either, and I don’t want to cause or contribute to the pain of my fellow sister. Therefore, if your man is cheating, it isn’t with me-I am just letting ‘my girls’ know, I got your back, not your man.



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    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thanks Jpanaro982! I don't like to me greedy, I just want to be someone's one & only and them to be mine!Is that so wrong/hard?? :)

    • Jpanaro982 profile image

      Jpanaro982 6 years ago from Eastchester

      I totally agree. If you can't be with one person than you shouldn't be in a relationship. There are no excuses if you don't like who ur with then you shouldn't be with them. Just because your not getting along doesen't give you an excuse to go and sleep with someone else. Your with this person and you should work it out or part.

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 7 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      That is perhaps the thing that saddens me most-I have been on the wrong side of infidelity, in that it was my family member that engaged in a relationship with my husband. It was my nephew...which is how I learned my husband was gay after 18 years of marriage. The sad part is, I wouldn't wish that pain (Karma)on even my worst enemy! Then again, that's just me! ;)

    • magelle profile image

      magelle 7 years ago

      What these women who sleep with married or attached men don't understand is KARMA, what goes around, comes around in one way or another and pay back time is usually lerking around the corner.

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 7 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      Thank you lulucuzin! Appreciate the read and the comments! Sometimes I just gotta 'vent'! ;)

    • profile image

      lulucuzin 7 years ago

      that was awesome gir yeah !!!!!!!! i agree wit u 100% !.!