Have you ever been rejected?
Have you been afraid of rejections? or being rejected? I am...I always am...
But, will I or should I let it stop me from achieving my goals in life? should I let it stop me from living my life the way I wanted to? Would you think of me a fool if I'll tell you that I have? or will I be pitied for doing so?
I have this fear, and I've lived with it all my life...The fear of being rejected, that is...When I was younger, everytime I'll try to befriended somebody I'll be scared that they might not like me or that they might said something bad behind me once I am out of earshot... As I grew older the fear became worse. As I filled out my enrolment form (for college) I was so full of apprehension that my heart pounded in my chest like a "bongo" drum. I didn't believe in myself anymore. I didn't think that I'll be able to do it.
Some said, that my fear of rejection started early in life, when I was still a kid. And then I remember going to a family gathering (christmas party) when I was 6 years old and felt that I wasn't welcome there. That was the time when I felt so alone in the crowd. Amidst all the laughter and merriment, I felt like crying. Then during the gift giving, I didn't know whether to feel excited or sad. Then my gift came, and as I opened it, I was so sad to find that mine wasn't as good as my cousins. It wasn't even a toy like the others received. At a very early age I vowed not to go back their because it made me feel so sad and I pitied myself at that time.
I am sharing this because I know that I am not the only one suffering from this fear. I know there are many of us. But please no matter how hard don't let it ruin your chance to live. Everytime the fear struck me I just tell myself that I am lucky to be here and lucky to be able to do the things that I can do. More often than not it helped. I'll just make it a point to give myself at least a few seconds to absorb everything and then let it go.
I am still a work in progress but I know I'll get there. Maybe nobody's really rejecting me more than I rejected myself. Now, I am slowly accepting myself and my life and by doing it I am able to learn to mingle in the crowd.