ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

People Tools Dislike -- ROGER EBERT

Updated on December 13, 2009

Roger Ebert is the best film critic there is.

The only man who liked both "Doubt" and "Bully" equally.

In over 40,000 movies reviewed, Ebert has made only three errors -- he gave Die Hard only two stars, he gave RoboCop only three stars, and he gave Dick Tracy four stars. 

He didn't like Spider-Man 1 for some very good reasons -- the plastic and computer pixels that made up the action scenes. That's just about the fairest assessment you could make about it.

Other then that, he's the quintessential film mind walking the Earth.

Ebert understands both life and movies in a way that cool people continuously try to grasp.

Gene Siskel would sit next to him and be a tool.

All Siskel's reviews were wrong and stupid.

Ebert had to pick his slack, and that of Leonard "I love Early 90s Comedy Central Humor!" Maltin, everyone but Dave Kehr of the New York Times. Kehr's the only other one with a brain.

Not surprisingly, these other critics, and many on the internet, do nothing but attack how Ebert judges a movie. Ebert doesn't just dismiss a movie because the main guy has a tooth missing. 

Tools judge movies on how much it cost. If it's a huge production, it gets four stars.

By a tool's logic, this means that "El Mariachi" and "Clerks" would be considered the worst films of the year.

People who don't like violence are appalled that Ebert doesn't dock a film for it's violence.

Same with foul language.

How does a film with the F word get to be regarded as so intelligent, they say. 

Do I even have to go on with this lesson? I think I can let you cool people off early. You get the idea.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.