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Perpetual Crush

Updated on September 22, 2013

Perpetual Crush?

I know it's a term I'm pretty sure no one else has come up with, but I'm using for a good reason. A Perpetual Crush is that one person you've known for a long time and it seems your crush for them is perpetual or lasting forever. It seems that every time you see this person you're reminded of how you have been crushing on him or her. Sometimes this lasts for years. You might even ignore all others in hopes that the one you're crushing will finally acknowledge you. Well, that's what this article is about. Bear with me, it might not make all that much sense, but I'm sure it'll be helpful. :P Take a look.

*For simplicity reasons, I will be using the pronoun he to describe said crush.*

Identifying The Perpetual Crush

Well before you can address the issue of having a Perpetual Crush, take a moment to identify who it is. Usually it's someone from grade school or college that you've simply adored all these years. Sometimes it's someone you met at work on the street and became friends with. Identifying who this person is will eventually lead to two things.

  1. You finally tell him you have a crush.
  2. You never tell him and the cycle seems to restart every time the two of you meet.

Believe it or not, Option 2 is definitely the easier of the two. It seems like having a crush doesn't end in just grade school or high school, it follows you into adulthood. YES, you CAN have a crush in adulthood. It's pretty funny that even as adults we're still afraid of telling that special guy or girl we have a huge crush on them. Well the most awkward part would be that you've had the crush over a long period of time. Trust me, I've had several lol. Here are some tips to figure out who your crush is.

  1. When you hear his voice you smile widely.
  2. It seems like whatever he says is accompanied by an orchestra.
  3. You may or may not have looked at him with those dreamy eyes.
  4. Your friends notice the excitement you have when around him.
  5. You say embarrassing things around him.
  6. There might have even been a bit of flirting going on between the two of you.

Option One: The Healthy Choice

Okay. So you've finally decided what to do about this Perpetual Crush. He's just so cute and funny and you like his smile. OMGosh... you can't stop thinking about him. Your heart rate increases every time you begin to think about him. It's out of control!! You imagine a great deal of possible outcomes that can arise from revealing yourself.

  1. He is flattered, but just see you as a friend.
  2. He has a crush too! Hooray!!
  3. He kisses you romantically. You want to have his children.
  4. He's grossed out and you never see him again.
  5. You're grossed out because he just got weirder suddenly. *Scary*

Now those are just a few of many different outcomes to telling that Perpetual Crush just how you feel. In most cases he or she will already have some sort of clue. Well if it's a guy, he probably can't tell. *Guys are oblivious most of the times* I should know, I am one. ;) But hey, sometimes they can tell. It just takes a lot of showing it so. So since you've decided to tell that great guy or girl you like them, here are some tips to doing so.

  1. Do it in person. Tell him or her to their face.
  2. Don't beat around the bush. Get it out!!
  3. Explain in depth why you've felt the way you feel.
  4. Explain in depth what you would like to see. A romance? A first date? Love?

If he says "I like you too"...

  1. Smile at him or her, maybe even hug them.
  2. Laugh a bit, the stressful part is over.
  3. Ask "Where do we go from here?"

If he says "I only see you as a friend"...

  1. Accept it. It's how he feels.
  2. Don't get upset, be mature.
  3. Reassure him that you can definitely remain friends.
  4. Don't pine for him anymore!! Move on. If he doesn't like in a greater capacity than friendship, it's best to go on with your life.

Option Two: Not So Healthy

In my twenty-four years of life, I've learned that you can't keep too many things to yourself. It's unhealthy. If you've ever had a great secret you couldn't reveal, you'll realize that it's been eating away at you for a long time. Keeping this secret and not telling him is the wrong choice, though no one can make you tell a guy you like him. You might be like me.

  1. Too scared.
  2. Afraid of rejection.
  3. Too shy.
  4. Afraid they might actually like me back.
  5. Too nervous
  6. Afraid of showing vulnerability.

Well I have to reassure you that at times you just don't feel that telling is the right thing to do. It might jeopardize the friendship, cause a flurry of confusion emotions. It's okay if you don't want to tell, no one is making you. Though it is the healthier thing to do. In the event that you don't tell, just realize a few things.

  1. You may never be able to get over your crush.
  2. You might find yourself being resentful.
  3. You might even miss out on other possible matches.
  4. You may not being seeing the negative things in the crush. It's possible he's not right for you.

All of things are broad and quite possible, so just save yourself the turmoil and tell him. If you can't, at least do one healthy thing.

  1. Continue on with your life.
  2. Don't pine. If he comes around, good. If not, you're good.
  3. Realize that if he doesn't notice you, he probably won't ever.
  4. Realize that there's always someone else out there.

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In Conclusion

Sometimes it's not as serious as I described. Sometime it's just a little teeny crush that couldn't hurt anyone, but you gotta analyse it. If it's preventing you from something or making you think way too much, you probably should address it. Give yourself options. You can use options one or two or you can come up with your own. Usually it takes a guy a little bit to catch up with the minds of others. If you're sure he likes you, give it a bit. He might actually show this himself without you even having to address it. Though this isn't too terribly common. If you like him, tell him. If you think he likes you, give him a minute to show that. The gist is this:

You need to be honest throughout your life. If you feel a certain way, make it known. It can't hurt. At least you won't be laying in bed wondering "What if". Take a moment to realize that your actions now affect your future. Heck he could be your next husband!! You have to make the right choices about it. If you've moved on from that crush, good. You'll probably find someone just right for you right down the corner. Well that's all I can provide you. Let me know if you have any need of advice. *I give great advice* :)


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    • profile image


      3 years ago

      That's really shderw! Good to see the logic set out so well.

    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Hmm... I guess it is a bit different than most hubs I write. I generally just have a concept and I write about that.... I'm not too picky. I'll try anything. Thanks for the visit!!

    • unknown spy profile image

      Not Found 

      6 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      aubreym, this is very different from your last and previous writings. But I guess Im glad you write about this hub..reminds me of someone :)

    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      :) No problem Joseph! lol... Yeah I got over my Perpetual Crush after I found someone else. It's super funny I was so excited to spend time with that crush until I found someone else who caused that other crush to vanish. It was like *poof* magic! Thanks for the comment man. :)

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 

      6 years ago from New York

      Crazed! would you stop whinning and call that person? (jk) This was an eye opener; I was in a similar situation. but ended when I found a real person to replace that crush. Thanks for the insight in your own words!

    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      lol... I don't know Deb. I just know ;) This based on my own experiences so I think that's the reason.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 

      6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      wow this hub this article is very relevant to me.. thank you.. How did you know? lol.. I fell in love with this young man in school and I am 61 years old and I still love him till this day, I have wrote books about him and poems etc. great hub,.


    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Thanks a lot!! I appreciate your feedback, Sue. I'm glad you think I'm wise and this is purely written from own experiences. :) You're an awesome supporter of my writing so I want to thank you for that. Catch you around!!

    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Thanks so much Amy!! That was a very calculate response. I'm so glad you got the "advice columnist" feel from reading this work. :) It's always awesome to get such great feedback!! It's always awesome to have you around Amy.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Hi Aubrey,

      Yes, you do give great advice. You are very wise for your 24 years.

      I never had a perpetual crush on anyone. Just little ones that I kept to myself.

      I bet there are many girls out there who have a crush on you. ;-)

      Voted up and away

      Have a good day. :)

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 

      6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I love the way you tackle this kind of human interest topic, CrazedNovelist. You have a gift for letting the reader know that you, too, as all of us, are human, without being preachy. You would be a great, highly read advise columnist, Aubrey. Way back in the day, when I was as young as you, I wasn't as in touch with my feelings as you are. I was very overprotected by my parents (which was an insulating, loving idea, but left me ill prepared for the real world). Shy by nature, naive and scared of my own shadow, I married the first man I dated, figuring I could learn to love anyone. I count my lucky stars he wasn't a serial killer! LOL When I finally divorced him, I jumped into another marriage with a stranger and 3-months after my divorce, I stewed in the frying pan again. Fear is a killer. I never really had the chance to "crush" on anyone. Although it sounds exciting in a "pins and needles" kind of way, I think it could be torturous. It seems to carry the possibility of "crushing the crusher", and could in the process, reek havoc on self-esteem. Yet, compared to just letting life happen, it puts more power in the hands of both the pursued and the pursuer, if the healthy attitudes you describe are employed. I particularly like the wise advise under the heading "If he only sees you as a friend". However, for those with OCD, or control issues, your excellent advise may be more than they can put into play. If that is the case, the person with the crush is often the next stalker.

      Really interesting, informative read, Aubrey, amounting to fantastically courageous and excellent advise.

    • CrazedNovelist profile imageAUTHOR

      A.E. Williams 

      6 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Aww thanks! I appreciate it! :)

    • dghbrh profile image


      6 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Votes up and enjoyed reading this.


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