Plural Marriage Destroyed Me.

I chose plural marriage for several reasons. The first being that I wanted the close knit family relationship that plural marriage represents. The second being I thought it would be the answer to my relationship problems. I put the time and research into understanding plural marriage and how I thought that it could help me.

It was not a decision that I had made easily, because I have never been one to share the person that I am with especially after 10 years of marriage. However we were lacking something in our marriage. We lacked friendship, companionship, working together and well honestly we lacked everything.

I was lacking friendship in my life, I had just become a mom for the second time only 13 months after my first was born. I had no one local, and my house chores were piling up, my wifely duties were being neglected and my husband was complaining about it all. I thought for sure that I could answer all of it with plural marriage.

I found the person that I thought would be a good fit for plural marriage with my husband and I. I talked to my husband and he agreed to try it, he courted the young lady and the feelings grew. She became a really good friend to me. She was there for me when I needed a friend, she listened to my feelings and supported me in my life decisions.

Sounds good doesn't it? Well as pretty as it sounds, let me just say that it didn't go pretty. While I thought I was building a great bond with a great friend, getting the help I needed emotionally and physically and helping my husband get what he was lacking. Truth be told none of that was happening honestly.

I got a "friend" that was turning against me, using my emotions and feelings to create a bigger divide between my husband and I and making sure she was making my husbands every dream come true while making me look like a horrible person. I wasn't really getting the help with my home or children at all. I was doing all of the same things, and she was getting all of my husbands time and attention.

This "friend" made me seem insane when I would approach my husband with what was happening. She was turning him against me, by twisting around what was said in confidence. She was telling me he was doing and saying things that he wasn't. It was a total nightmare. I ended up leaving my husband.

After the fighting becoming much worse, and my "friend" and husband convincing me I was crazy. I left, I packed up my two children one of which was only 5 months old and barely knew her daddy because of this crazy situation and I moved away. I broke my family up, I was to blame, I created something unfixable by trying to make things better.

Geeze, woman stop that sad talk. I slowly picked up the pieces realizing that I wasn't crazy, I wasn't all to blame. It took a lot of therapy and tears but I did it. I kept my children happy, healthy and safe. I became a better person in the end. I became stronger and a survivor.

I did slowly start putting my marriage back together, my husband finally opened his eyes to what was really happening. He saw the light, and decided that his children and family were more important to him than anything. I didn't fight for it, I didn't hound him, I didn't chase him. I did me, I worked on me, I started becoming the person I wanted to be and he saw it.

I am still very interested in a plural marriage, however I won't be trying it again anytime soon. It's not easy, it nearly destroyed me and everything I worked so hard to build. I don't recommend it for just anyone. My children thankfully were much to young to really understand what happened, they have recovered and are living a normal life. I am still growing and changing and becoming the independent woman I want to be. I am the best mom I can be and that is all that matters to me.