ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Polite Ways to Say No to Going Out with a Boy

Updated on February 28, 2013
Source

Just Saying No

There are lots of ways to say no. In fact, in every culture there is a different way to decline an offer. However, saying no to an offer of a date or relationship has the added problem of having hurt feelings going along with it. There are many things you need to be mindful of when saying no to going out with a boy - or girl, or anyone!

Be Firm and Don't Lead On

This is both two things yet the same thing. The first part is that you need to be firm with what you say, yet polite. This is a hard line to follow, because it is easy to state it in a way that leads to hope, or thinking that there is a chance of something later on. Often, people look for the best possible outcome of things. In giving being polite yet leading someone on, you haven't finished anything and it will just be a nuisance to you and painful for the other person.

For instance the following are polite but lead people on:

  • I am not ready for that right now.
  • I am not free then.
  • I don't like ____, maybe some other time.
  • I am sick right now.

You get the idea. Instead, try something that is polite but firmly a "no":

  • I am not interested in you that way, sorry.
  • I think of you only as a friend.
  • I would not be comfortable with going out with you, sorry.

You get the idea there as well. Firm, polite, and not leading anyone on.

"Why?"

This is one of the worst questions to be asked when you decline going out with someone. Honestly, a lot of times it is hard to articulate why you don't want to be with someone. There are a few explanations that you can give - of course you should think about it yourself and come to your own conclusions, but here are some thoughts as to why going out with someone could be a bad idea.

  • "I like us as friends." Honestly, friendships usually end when there is a breakup unless one side is leading the other on. One person once put it that "just staying friends" is the same as keeping a dead pet around - its only painful and serves no purpose at all. It is rare that relationships last naturally and without a lot of work after one side leaves another. Therefore, if it is articulated this way, it is a valid reason to not want to date a friend - "I would not want to lose you as a friend if something went wrong with our relationship." Furthermore, if they don't want to be friends after that, it probably wasn't a real friend anyways.
  • "I like you, but I don't like you that much - or could not like you in that way." You can't force something. If it happens it happens but you can usually feel if something has the possibility of working out or not.
  • "You're not my type." Along the same lines of the last one, you can usually tell if someone is your type or not, both mentally and physically. Sure, you might get over not being attracted to someone physically, but it makes things harder. In no way be shallow, just be realistic about what you are looking for in a person.

There are, of course, many more things. However, there can not or should not be a guide to tell you everything. You need to find out what you want on your own, and be able to articulate it.

I hope you find what you are looking for!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)