- Gender and Relationships
How to be Popular
The desire for popularity
Most people would agree that they would rather be popular. What does that mean exactly? For some it means having as many people like or approve of them as possible. For some it means "fitting in". For others it could mean having millions of screaming fans who can't get enough of them. Popularity is different for everyone, as are the reasons for wanting it.
Some may feel this desire because they are insecure within themselves and crave the approval of others for validation. Some may be social butterflies and simply enjoy the company and experiences that come with having a wide range of "friends". Still others may feel that they are entitled and deserving of a fan base, seeing as how they are so super special, who wouldn't want to love and adore them?
Whatever the reason and whomever the person, popularity is.... popular.
Checklist for Awesomeness
There are certain trait and characteristics that go along with being popular. While it isn't necessary to have all of them, the more you posses the higher the likelihood of you being popular.
- Charm/wit/grace ~ Charisma!
- Sense of humor
- Good (or great looks)
- Respect for others
Confidence is key!
When you are confident you emit a certain radiance that can be felt by others. You have a manner of speaking, walking, and holding yourself that tells others that you respect yourself, you respect them, and you are comfortable in your own skin.
Confidence is attractive. People are instantly drawn to it like a magnet! They want to be by you, talk to you, learn from you... and maybe some of them are hoping that a little bit of it will rub off on them too.
Over confidence or arrogance will have the opposite affect. It works as a repellent as does lack of confidence.
When you love yourself you are able to love and be loved by others.
When you respect yourself you are able to respect and be respected by others.
The one thing that every popular person has is confidence; in themselves, in their knowledge, in their abilities, and/or in their hearts.
A little bit of me and a whole lot of you
Another nifty thing about popular people is where they place their focus. While they may be in the spotlight, they aren't the ones controlling that light. They place their spotlight on you, rather than themselves!
Everyone wants to feel accepted, appreciated, noticed, and valid. People who have true popularity have obtained this by caring for and giving those things to others. You want to be around them because they aren't self-focused, rather they are interested in you!
If you want to be popular and have others think you're awesome, you've got to start showing more interest in them than you do in yourself. When you do, people will see you as:
- A good listener
You'll have more compliments than you know what to do with, all because you took the focus off of yourself and placed it on them instead. Making them feel special, appreciated, understood, and accepted lifts you up higher than all of the self-glorifying talk in the world.
Funny & Popular
Sad & lacking respect
It's what is on the inside that counts
If you look at some of the famous people around today, they aren't all dashing and perfect. Some of them are downright goofy looking! So how did they get to be so popular? Why do so many people love them?
It's because they have it where it counts! They have the charm, the wit, the humor, the charisma... they have the ability to take your focus off of what they look like and put it somewhere else. They have confidence and typically a unique style they have accepted and are proud of. They are comfortable in their own skin!
Now, not every celebrity is like this. Some do rely on their looks, their voices, or some other talent or ability that sets them apart from the rest. Just because you're rich & famous, doesn't automatically give you "true" popularity. The ones who are fake either end up dropping off the face of the planet, or they are the ones in and out of rehab more times than you can count. They lack that all important self-respect and respect for others.
Be who you are!
The qualities that you look for in others, the ones you wish you were like... stop wishing! Create those traits within yourself. Be comfortable with who YOU are instead of wanting to be like someone else.
There isn't anyone else in the world just like you (not even if you have an identical twin)! When you love yourself, respect yourself, and are proud of who you are just as you are... then it won't even be a matter of "trying" to be popular. People will just gravitate toward you!
The best way to be awesome is to know that you already are awesome.