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Pretty or Not? The Eyebrows Have It

Updated on January 2, 2020
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth has a taste for abstract/prose poetry as well as the comical side of life. 23-years of writing for a newspaper has served him well.

Warning: Guys Watch This!

Think About it For a Minute

if you are an emotionally, mentally-strong man, say in his early 20s, single, just landed a dream job and you know all too well that you are among the few who are plugged in, at the top, and the world is your oyster. Sorry about using that old axiom. But it fit. Should I stop here or continue talking about how you have lived a charmed life—no task was challenging even in the remotest degree, the good things in life seemingly just landed into your lap without really working for them. You may be blushing right now, but I am talking to one of you Ivy League guys.

For the most part, I like every area of Harvard College. The Harvard School of Law and Medicine to name two with your humble agreement, of course. You see, I know going in that I am not dealing with just any college-based institution. I am referring to the apex of colleges. Simply put, guys who attend Harvard cannot study at a higher educational mecca. I seem to be tad smarter by just mentioning Harvard in this hub.

Lovely But Lethal . . .


What Does All of This Harvard Stuff

mean? Easy answer: a guy who graduates Harvard Law or Medicine, no matter how he looks, is an automatic-candidate for any luscious girl who should meet him. It is like magic in the movies. He drifts to a local movie house to watch an intellectual film (of course) because the majority of Harvard guys attend this type of film which does not really mean anything shocking, just so intelligently-written and acted by the best actors, only the Harvard guys can understand it.

And after the film, this Harvard grad casually drifts out to the sidewalk to head for his club that his dad built many years ago and yes, it is for Harvard Men Only. Doesn’t that sound just nasty enough to cause a commoner (like me) to vomit? I can tell you that it does. But immediately, and I mean immediately before he walks to his club, he is met by this hot-looking girl, “Amanda,” who is home for summer vacation from William and Mary which has been called the Alma Mater of the Nation because of its close ties to America's founding fathers. ... William & Mary became a state-supported school in 1906 and went coed in 1918. “Amanda” is no fool. She knows quality right off.

But this short narrative is not about you, the Harvard grad, “Mr. Success,” because it is solely about “Amanda” and her very sexy eyebrows. Sexy eyebrows, did you say? Sure. Personally, I like eyebrows, especially women’s eyebrows. And so does “Mr. Success,” because as his eyes have met “Amanda’s,” his insides have mysteriously-went from human flesh and blood to Strawberry Jell-O. (Sorry, Bill Cosby. This is NOT about Jell-O Pudding Pops). But this Harvard guy can hardly move for how “Amanda’s” eyebrows have captivated him. To explain. “Amanda,” if she were a lion tamer in some big traveling circus and “Mr. Success” was an angry lion, all that she would have to do is NOT use her whip, but just get his eyes to focus on her naturally-grown and designed eyebrows.

A Woman's Eyebrows Can Hypnotize . . .


The Well-Guarded Secret About a Woman's . . .

  • eyebrows are moments from being exposed to the wide world. But without CNN or Fox News. Yes, “this” story was the one that got away and I cannot be happier. Another spicy, closely-guarded secret (about eyebrows) is that a gorgeous woman with perfect make-up, body, clothes, eyes, and eyebrows is a harmless prey waiting for you, the Harvard grad that I continue to talk about, who will be her escort just by winking at her. Wrong. You couldn’t be so wrong as to believe that you have the power of this woman or any woman for that matter.
  • Fact is, a perfectly-built woman with a perfect wardrobe, a dynamite smile, and yes, that perfect eye liner and make-up and eyebrows, yes, the eyebrows, is the most-lethal living thing on two legs walking upright on this earth. No force, Navy SEALs or Israeli Commandos included could not and cannot withstand the power that the woman of this description holds and know how to use it.
  • Instead of just talking, let me give you an easy test about eyebrows. A man, a professional Navy SEAL or Israeli Commando is on a weekend-leave and out to “stretch is legs” a little—drink a beer or two, dance with a gorgeous woman a time or two, and head home. But wait a minute! The gorgeous woman has other plans and this is where trouble begins. At the last dance, he kisses her quickly and says goodbye, and she casually acts surprised at his kiss and throws her beautiful eyebrows upward and he is caught like a wild hog in a trap on some Louisiana bayou. He cannot move. Or talk fluently. The gorgeous lady has him in her powers. All because of her perfectly-designed eyebrows of brunette and thin like razor blades. Guys, take a lesson from this. If you are tempted to walk into your favorite bar for just a few laughs and you meet a gorgeous woman, brunette or blond, and wills you into her spell just by moving her beautiful eyebrows . . .stop! Find the strength to say no to her and walk away because what happens next is NOT going to meet the HubPages’ editors. You can use your own imagination.

Her Eyebrows Are Simply Devastating . . .


If You Need Further Advice

on how to Read a Woman’s Eyebrows . . .look at these eyebrow uses that a woman can use to communicate with you or any other man or woman.

If She Slowly-Raises Her Eyebrows Upward . varies by society and context, and how long the eyebrows stay up. With that caveat, if it lasts about 1/5 of a second and is followed by her smiling and looking distantly, it probably means she's flirting or interested in you. ... That's less to do with the eyebrows and more to do with her being a girl.

If The Woman’s Eyebrows Are Pointed Downward . . .at the center of the forehead, she is angry or mildly-irritated it is ALL YOUR FAULT. Guys, you probably didn’t help her chair at the restaurant; order her drink for her . . .any number of things. Guys, sometimes, you can be walking into a mine field. So if your date’s eyebrows look this way, immediately apologize, grovel like there is no tomorrow and ask her to marry you.

Now If Her Eyebrows Are Lifted . . .into a gorgeous archway, you have hit the jackpot. This is her way to tell you that she is relaxed and not threatened by you. What I insist that you do now and with every opportunity is compliment those eyebrows, so much that tears come to your eyes. Then near the evening, ask her to marry you.

This One Can Be Tricky . . . but relax If she has one eyebrow up, and the other one naturally, she is suspicious and what you have just said causes her some disbelief, so what I advise is you to quickly change he subject, order her another Deluxe Lobster Dinner and then propose to her for marriage.

All in all . . .what have you got to lose?

January 3, 2010_______________________Happy New Year One and All!

© 2020 Kenneth Avery


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