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Problems and Solutions in a Relationship

Updated on January 13, 2012

Compromising For the Sake of Argument

Arguing Couple
Arguing Couple | Source

What is Love? Understanding, Compromising, and Communication

There are many types of people who make up the world; there are people from different cultures, and backgrounds and nationalities and walks of life. However, as in any couples relationship I have found that there is always a problem with "who's the boss". There seems to always be a power struggle, either the woman wants to rule the majority of actions that pertain to the relationship, and finances and is very jealous and controlling, or the man is more dominate and jealous and wants to control all of his womans time and movements.

There are money issues in every relationship, but as we all know, in order for any relationship to survive there has to be a great deal of trust, devotion, and honesty, friendship, communication, and spontaneity, both parties must be willing to compromise in situations, and each of them have to know when to give in. It's ok for them to play around with each other sometimes, because it allows them to unwind and relax, but they have to know when play time is over, and it is back to staying on point and remaining focused.

When one person in the relationship is passive, while the other one is more serious minded, it tends to place more responsibilities on the serious minded individual, because they are the one who’s left to handle all the business affairs, dealing with the household chores, and the children, scheduling appointments and the list seems endless.

What most people have a problem understanding is when they entered into a relationship; they became partners in crime so to speak. They agreed to share all responsibilities, and the relationship has to be equal on all levels, otherwise someone will feel as though they are in the fight alone. Being overwhelmed and over burdened with responsibilities can cause a strain in any relationship, which is where communication plays a valuable role. Both parties must be willing to sit down and discuss the situation like adults, without the discussion becoming a screaming match over who's right and who's wrong.

Now there are submissive partners in relationships out there, and that’s ok too, if that is the type of relationship that one chooses, but for the most part every relationship has its own issues.

In most situations, there is no right or wrong party in an argument; there is only the need for the understanding of how partnership and teamwork works. In every relationship what people have to remember is that we are all separate entities, no two people are alike, which means that we are all unique in our own way, and have the right to stand behind our opinions, and beliefs, without being forced to take sides one way or another.

One of the things that I have found very helpful in my relationship is compromising, sometimes I may not want to give in, but for the sake of argument I have learned to compromise. I give a quick reminder to my partner, that we are exactly that partners, and then we come to an agreement on who will be responsible for what task, while ensuring that the tasks at hand are equal, to reduce any confusion from either party.

Another resolution technique that I have found useful is to always plan functions, events, and any other actions that will require the presence of both parties together. Never commit, nor agree to anything without the approval of your significant other, otherwise there will be trouble brewing.

When you take the lead and make plans, and decisions without discussing them with your partner, unless it's a surprise party of some type, the excluded partner feels as though they were left out of the decision making process, and this can cause issues and chaos. However if you include your partner in your decisions prior to making any final decisions, which may involve the entire household, then this will make the other party feel as though the decision was determined equally, and all parties are satisfied with the outcome.

On the other hand if the results from any decisions made, are catastrophic and both parties had a hand in the finalization of the decision, then both parties are to blame and will most likely caulk it up to a learning experience. Neither one can place blame, because both are responsible for the outcome.

Another resolution that has helped me in my relationship is being considerate of my partners feelings, regardless to how small I may think the issue is, I always ask for my partners opinion and permission before I venture into different situations or opportunities, because I never in my life want to hear, I told you so, or if you would have just listened to me then none of this would have happened, those are statements that will start an argument very quickly.

Decisions that cost large amounts of money should always be discussed before being ventured into, because there are many factors and questions that must be analyzed and answered for instance, is the venture affordable, or will it take the couple out of there budget and put them into debt? Or has the venture been prioritized? Because every couple/family should have a list of priorities for instance which bills need to be paid first to avoid disconnection, or termination of their services? Also when making plans to make new purchases, there has to be questions like, will that purchase put us in the negative? Can we afford this right now? Or do we need to put aside the money needed, and wait until we can afford the purchase.

Even small things can get blown out of proportion, but many altercations and arguments can be avoided, by simply discussing the issues before stepping into something that may stink to all high heavens, and cause you to have to try and drag it off your feet in the grass later.

I hope that this relationship advice helps someone to remain strong, and stay true to their partner and to their relationship, as I always follow my own advice. I never speak about things that I think to be true, but only the things that I know to be true and factual.


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  • sunkentreasure profile image

    BERNARD LEVINE 5 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

    SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE

    Make your love one feel special everyday.

    Do not allow your lives to become routine -

    prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.

    Never take your loved one for granted.

    Keep your love forever precious,

    sacred and beautiful.

    What you put into your love

    is what you will get out of your love.

    Enrich your lives with prayer.

    Always be your partners best friend.

    © Bernard Levine

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