- Gender and Relationships
A Letter to Men From a Man
What a Man Is Not?
Here in the 21st century, I believe men are having a bit of an identity crisis. Even on the big screen, men are no longer required to be masculine or even different than women. While I am not a perfect example of what a man is expected to be, I believe there are certain qualities that every man should possess. Before outlining those qualities, let me first define what a man is not:
- A man is not selfish. Unfortunately there are a lot of men still living at home with mom and dad playing video games. He has no plans for life and expects everyone to be ok with it.
- A man does not abuse women. Due to some unknown reason, boys today think it is ok to hit girls. They then grow up to be "men" and still think this behavior is ok. Instead of fighting for his girl, he fights with her.
- A man is not impatient. Instead of opening car doors and holding doors open for his dream girl, he leaves her feeling disrespected and unimportant.
- A man is not perfect. A true man does not always insist on being right, rather, he knows where the line is and does not cross it. Instead of hiding his mistakes, he confesses his faults and is not afraid of asking for forgiveness.
What A Man Is
Our current society has forgotten or unfortunately has never been taught what it means to be a man. Perhaps the we as a society spend too much time in front of a media device instead of communicating with actual people. We are taught that it does not matter if men wear dresses and makeup, that it is ok for men to shave their legs and arm pits. If you are ok with these things, then so be it, but you are not the type of man that I would want to marry my daughters. What qualities can you posses that makes you a man?
- A real man loves Jesus. I know it is not kosher to have such a belief in our current society, but everything good within a person begins with this reality. If you love Jesus then you would treat others, including women, the way He would want you to.
- A real man puts his woman before himself. Would it be detrimental to your health if you held the door open for your girlfriend? How about opening the car door for her and waiting until she is comfortably seated before you close it?
- A true man never puts his hand on a woman in anger. When I was a young man, I hit my sister out of frustration and my dad found out about it. I was disciplined by him like I had never incurred before. Needless to say, he taught me a lesson and I learned that day there was something different about the way I should treat girls.
- A true man waits until marriage before becoming intimate with a woman. If you love a woman, then you wait. It is that simple. I made a number of mistakes throughout my life and this was one area of difficulty for me. As I grew and learned how God feels about marriage and the word "covenant" was explained to me, I knew how important it was for me to wait for intimacy. I have been married for nearly 13 years.
Real Men Poll
Do You Agree With My Definition of a Man?
Never Too Late
If are young or old and are not proud of the man you've become, then it's never too late to start again. Perhaps you've wronged your spouse or your girlfriend. Do not believe that you have gone to far to begin again. Change is hard, but oftentimes it is necessary to live a fulfilled life.