Pros and Cons of Eloping

Many people dream of having a huge wedding with all of their friends and family to watch them honor each other with the ceremony of marriage. And then there are some people who do want to be married to one another but who don’t want to go through all of that annoying stuff that surrounds a big wedding including both the planning and the cost. Those people may decide that they’re going to skip the whole to-do of getting married in a huge wedding ceremony and instead will choose to elope. There are both positive and negative things that come along with making this decision.

Pros of Eloping

There are definitely some good reasons that a couple may decide to skip the big wedding and to elope instead. Some of the benefits of eloping include:

• Saves time and energy on planning a wedding. Wedding planning takes up a lot of time. It can also cause a lot of arguments between couples who were happy until they started trying to negotiate all of the details of what should happen at a wedding and who should be invited. You can avoid all of that wasted time and potential argument by picking a vacation together and eloping instead.

• Saves a whole lot of money. Most weddings in modern times are very expensive. They include photographers and flowers and dresses and rental halls and bands or DJs and all sorts of things that create a lot of cost really quickly. Even budget weddings are usually in the four or five figure range. Eloping, on the other hand, doesn’t have to cost much at all.

• Avoid the drama of family at a wedding. Families often cause hassles at weddings because of all of the in-fighting and issues that come up when an entire extended family is put in one small space for an event. That drama can be avoided by skipping the big wedding and eloping instead. You also don’t have to worry about stepping on anyone’s toes because this person was invited and that one wasn’t and you don’t have to worry about the awkwardness of inviting people you don’t really want to see because you feel obligated to do so. You save yourself a lot of interpersonal drama on the day of your wedding.

• Increases the intimacy of the marriage ceremony. The big wedding ceremony can sometimes end up being a big superficial show that you put on for other people which takes away from the true intimacy of choosing to marry the person that you love. When you elope, the focus really is all about the two of you and your choice to be with one another which can really heighten the intimacy of the wedding experience.

• It’s really romantic. Not everyone dreams of the big wedding. Some people dream instead of the passion and romance of running away with the person that they love. Those people will find that eloping feels far more romantic than getting married in a traditional way.

Cons of Eloping

Although all of those benefits are great, you will find that there are also negatives associated with choosing to elope rather than to get married through a traditional wedding ceremony. The cons of eloping include:

• A lot of hurt feelings. Although you will avoid drama on the day of your wedding by eloping, you will create drama when people find out. Your parents and friends and siblings may be really hurt that you didn’t invite them to be a part of your wedding and therefore may be upset with you for a long time to come.

• People may not accept the situation. Your family and your in-laws, in particular, may not really take your marriage seriously if you elope. The bonding that you need to have amongst the entire family may simply not exist without that ceremony regardless of how you personally feel about big weddings. This could be an issues for many years to come depending on the families involved.

• It can feel anti-climactic or disappointing. The passion of eloping is very exciting but there is something more solid and lasting about the marriage ceremony. A lot of memories (and photos) are created at weddings. Eloping can feel less important and this may bother you as time goes on.

• You don’t get any gifts or parties. This is a small price to pay if you really do want to elope but it’s something to take into consideration. There probably won’t be bachelor parties or presents from your families if you elope.

• It might be a mistake to get married. Eloping is something that people usually do spontaneously so you don’t have a lot of time to think about whether or not you really want to be married to this person. Taking the time to plan a wedding allows you to really think through what you’re doing and to decide whether or not the marriage is really the right thing for you.

Striking a Compromise

One of the things that couples who are considering eloping may want to do is to find a compromise that allows them to have some of the benefits of eloping without risking all of the negatives. A very small and intimate ceremony that includes only a handful of people and which is followed by a romantic and passionate honeymoon may be a good solution for the couple that wants to elope but isn’t quite sure about it. Another option is to elope but then throw a big celebration party when you return so that others in your life feel included. Ultimately, your entire marriage should be about what is right for the two of you and your new relationship so the marriage is a good time to start finding those compromises in life that really and truly work for both of you together.