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How to move on from a breakup?

Updated on May 29, 2014

Do you have a broken heart?

Greetings friend. Firstly, I am really sorry for what you are going through right now. No one in this world deserves to get their heart broken, and no one has the right to break someone else's. It is everyone's right to be happy, every living moment of their lives. There's absolutely no one in this world allowed to deny anyone of that happiness. Still, your heart is smashed in a million little pieces. So you ask, why am I hurting right now?

Do not be afraid to admit that you have a broken heart, for it only proves that you have a heart, and the ability to love. It is a gift, and it must be cherished. It also means that your mind and body is 100% operational, which also means that you are designed to repair any damage inflicted upon you, physically and emotionally. As all of us probably heard before, Time heals all wounds.


Letting time heal

Face the fact, my friend. A broken heart can last for months, if not years. It is perfectly fine to pretend to your friends or your ex that you're okay. However, never pretend to yourself that you've moved on. Embrace reality, and feel the pain. A broken table will never fix itself if you ignore it, so don't ignore your heart. By now, you're probably thinking of things that you can do to patch things up more quickly. If only she/he'd come back to me, things will be better, right? However, resorting to these silly ideas will only delay your already lengthy recovery time. You are reading this because you want to move on.

The realistic things to hasten things up is more likely the things that will not aim to fix your broken relationship;

  • Throw away the letters, somewhere where you can never recover them again
  • Put the gifts away, in a place where you will be less likely tempted to look again
  • Delete all your pictures together, keeping them won't bring him/her back to you anyway
  • Unfriend him/her at facebook, looking at his/her page is the stupidest thing you could ever do right now
  • Delete his/her phone number, stop trying to remember it and let time erase it from your memory
  • Pretty much everything that reminds you of her/him, dump them too
  • Stop thinking about it, this may take a lot of practice. If ever you find your mind steering closer to it, jump twice, Exhaling loudly after each jump. Repeat until you're fully distracted

Always remember that each day, your heart mends itself more.

Rebound relationships

You may have the tendency to suddeny become more vulnerable to a new love interest. You may think that this new agenda of yours would help you forget about your recent breakup. On rare cases, a rebound relationship can be a lasting relationship. Sadly, on most cases, they'll only last until you finally admit to yourself that you still love that other person.

Reasons for a rebound relationship

  • You want to distract yourself away from the previous relationship.
  • You want to make your ex feel jealous.
  • You want to show everyone that you're fine.
  • Sometimes you'd think that the breakup happened so that you could meet this new person, but you're lying to yourself.
  • You've liked this new person before or even during your relationship with your ex and perhaps you're thinking you should give it a chance.
  • There's another person looking for a rebound relationship too.

I have nothing against rebound relationships. Generally, they are bad ideas. But hey, bad ideas turn into good lessons afterwards. There's also a small chance of success, however, it's extremely low. In your situation right now, I would suggest that you'd put more focus on yourself and steer clear of relationships for the time being.

Would you go into a rebound relationship?

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Turn it into a learning experience

Avoid blaming yourself. The ugly truth is that most breakups happen because the other party simply lost his/her feelings for you. Sometimes it may be something that you've done, but the point is that the other person gave up on the relationship instead of trying to fix the problem together. Do not try to figure out the entire reason. We are not meant to know everything. Keep your bad thoughts in the dark and start focusing on other things. It's not likely that you can fix the relationship anyway if you knew everything, she/he'll just get even less attracted to you if you start asking her friends and trying to know everything about her post-breakup.

Not everything about a breakup is bad. In fact, you should consider this as an opportunity to be a better person. It is tough moving on, and it takes real courage and strength to get by. I, myself, have been dumped from 3 serious relationships and it took me around a year to recover from each breakup. If you are heart broken, you probably took the relationship more seriously than you're supposed to. Remember, your life goes on, and you've still got years and years to find and meet people. There's tons of fish in the water. Learn to be patient, learn from mistakes and be a better person. There is someone else out there for you and one day, you will find each other. Good luck.

© 2013 Romeo Antolin


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      3 years ago

      Very well. Your article was somehow helpful. Thanks for your thoughts and insights. they were all true and realistic. I am currently suffering from a heartache now and it's not easy.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      My husband had an afifar in 2002 with our sons sister in law. And now she will not leave us alone.?I chose my marriage over leaving him.I have tried many times to forget what happened. I was putting in many hours at work. Put my job before my husband and Yes I blame myself as much as I do anyone. Our daughter in law told her sister so many lies about me to her sister. And she even sent my husband an invitation to her and my sons wedding as long as he DID NOT Bring my fat ass and that was how it was worded on the invitation. So in the long run it caused a big fight and I was kicked out I was gone 2000 miles away I went to Virginia from Arkansas because that was the only place I had to go. But the funny was the day after the Wedding he borrowed money from his mother and brought me home. I can NOT stomach this woman. She has caused all sorts of trouble in my life and in my marriage. She has the hots for my husband just as her older sister does. She treats my husband like Shit these days. If we go to my sons house She goes in the other room and ignores us. Or turns up the TV so we almost have to scream to be heard. But yet I am expected to watch her kids for FREE. And now I am being made to watch her sisters kids. I have told them repeatedly that Her sister is NOT allowed at my house but they bring her everytime they come. Just to cause trouble. Her sister is a leech. She follows my husband around like a dog in heat. But everyone asks WHY I don't like Misty, I asked them if they have about a week for me to tell them the reasons behind me not liking her. She bought booze for my son when he was 14, took him parking with her sister when he was 15, gave them rubbers when he was 16 and he got her sister pregnant, Quit Schooll at 18 to get them an apartment. Ruined my marriage because she had an afifar with my husband knowing he was a married man. Moved in our house with my son and his wife. And expected us to support all of them. Got a Van from us. And refuses to register it in her name. And has a 7 year old that she abuses that my husband is the father of.But blames her on a drug addict she was seeing after she was with my husband. But she was with my husband of and on from August of 2001 until October of 2003. And the kid was born June 24th 2004. But she was not with the Druggy until December of 2003.Those are just a few reasons. Is there someway I can keep this woman from being able to come to my home and stay out of my life. She just keeps causing trouble. It is real hard to move past the mistakes in the past when I face it everyday of my life. I have her kids 3 days a week and I have my grrandkids Monday through Friday. Even when we lived in another town my daughter in law would bring her to our house with them. I have told our daughter in law that they can come But her sister is NOT wanted. And I refuse to watch the kids but it was either watch them or them make my son Quit his Job and him watch them. Or them all 8 move back in on us in our House. We have done to above and it does not work. Restrianing order does not work because this woman lives with my son and daughter in law. She drives a Van that is registered in my name.Our son is the one who told me who his dad was messing with. And came and told me. His dad kept denying it. Even after I ended up on several meds because of her being so nasty. She walked in and he wanted to know why she was there and she told him I knew everything. He got mad. And called her all sorts of stuff. I have told her, Our son and his wife that she or her kids are NOT Welcome at our house. But every time they come over she has to come with them. My husband has told her Right in Front of me what happened WAS WRONG and he wants to work on our Marriage and Does NOT want her But her haed is Hollow she does not get it. And refuses to listen.


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