How to move on from a breakup?
Do you have a broken heart?
Greetings friend. Firstly, I am really sorry for what you are going through right now. No one in this world deserves to get their heart broken, and no one has the right to break someone else's. It is everyone's right to be happy, every living moment of their lives. There's absolutely no one in this world allowed to deny anyone of that happiness. Still, your heart is smashed in a million little pieces. So you ask, why am I hurting right now?
Do not be afraid to admit that you have a broken heart, for it only proves that you have a heart, and the ability to love. It is a gift, and it must be cherished. It also means that your mind and body is 100% operational, which also means that you are designed to repair any damage inflicted upon you, physically and emotionally. As all of us probably heard before, Time heals all wounds.
Letting time heal
Face the fact, my friend. A broken heart can last for months, if not years. It is perfectly fine to pretend to your friends or your ex that you're okay. However, never pretend to yourself that you've moved on. Embrace reality, and feel the pain. A broken table will never fix itself if you ignore it, so don't ignore your heart. By now, you're probably thinking of things that you can do to patch things up more quickly. If only she/he'd come back to me, things will be better, right? However, resorting to these silly ideas will only delay your already lengthy recovery time. You are reading this because you want to move on.
The realistic things to hasten things up is more likely the things that will not aim to fix your broken relationship;
- Throw away the letters, somewhere where you can never recover them again
- Put the gifts away, in a place where you will be less likely tempted to look again
- Delete all your pictures together, keeping them won't bring him/her back to you anyway
- Unfriend him/her at facebook, looking at his/her page is the stupidest thing you could ever do right now
- Delete his/her phone number, stop trying to remember it and let time erase it from your memory
- Pretty much everything that reminds you of her/him, dump them too
- Stop thinking about it, this may take a lot of practice. If ever you find your mind steering closer to it, jump twice, Exhaling loudly after each jump. Repeat until you're fully distracted
Always remember that each day, your heart mends itself more.
You may have the tendency to suddeny become more vulnerable to a new love interest. You may think that this new agenda of yours would help you forget about your recent breakup. On rare cases, a rebound relationship can be a lasting relationship. Sadly, on most cases, they'll only last until you finally admit to yourself that you still love that other person.
Reasons for a rebound relationship
- You want to distract yourself away from the previous relationship.
- You want to make your ex feel jealous.
- You want to show everyone that you're fine.
- Sometimes you'd think that the breakup happened so that you could meet this new person, but you're lying to yourself.
- You've liked this new person before or even during your relationship with your ex and perhaps you're thinking you should give it a chance.
- There's another person looking for a rebound relationship too.
I have nothing against rebound relationships. Generally, they are bad ideas. But hey, bad ideas turn into good lessons afterwards. There's also a small chance of success, however, it's extremely low. In your situation right now, I would suggest that you'd put more focus on yourself and steer clear of relationships for the time being.
Would you go into a rebound relationship?
Turn it into a learning experience
Avoid blaming yourself. The ugly truth is that most breakups happen because the other party simply lost his/her feelings for you. Sometimes it may be something that you've done, but the point is that the other person gave up on the relationship instead of trying to fix the problem together. Do not try to figure out the entire reason. We are not meant to know everything. Keep your bad thoughts in the dark and start focusing on other things. It's not likely that you can fix the relationship anyway if you knew everything, she/he'll just get even less attracted to you if you start asking her friends and trying to know everything about her post-breakup.
Not everything about a breakup is bad. In fact, you should consider this as an opportunity to be a better person. It is tough moving on, and it takes real courage and strength to get by. I, myself, have been dumped from 3 serious relationships and it took me around a year to recover from each breakup. If you are heart broken, you probably took the relationship more seriously than you're supposed to. Remember, your life goes on, and you've still got years and years to find and meet people. There's tons of fish in the water. Learn to be patient, learn from mistakes and be a better person. There is someone else out there for you and one day, you will find each other. Good luck.
© 2013 Romeo Antolin