Rearing children, Male Role Models

According to comedian Chris Rock, women choosing to be single parents because they don't need a man 'can be done and is your choice BUT that don't mean it is right'.

I agree. Children aren't like dolls, they are individuals, they are people and it takes both the male and female of the human race to make the world of a child complete, IF and i mean a BIG IF, it is done for all the right reasons...

Love, Respect, Security and the want to nurture! There are fundamentally a lot more to rearing a child but most of us will agree that it is LOVE that makes all the difference. No matter what!!!

For many reasons women end up taking care of children on their own, and many not by choice depending on the story you hear.

But in the 19th, 20th and 21st century many women have opted to have children without a man involved for various reasons, normally selfish. Yes! Selfish!

Working and making their own money has made them independent of needing a male around, so they tell themselves. But does that make them independent of wanting a man around?

But is this true, especially when one is bringing up a male child. That a male figure that is active in a male child's life makes all the difference in that individual's life.

Women can do a lot, but their is no woman born that can fill the gap that is left in a child's life when a father figure is missing in their rearing.

Good father figures, someone trustworthy for the child to make and believe, for at least a little while is their personal hero.

Back to the freedom money gives us - And with that money they have made choices that have made them the models choice for women's lib.

Don't get me wrong, i think every woman has the right to her choice and she should have a source of income for her own sense of fulfillment and self worth, if she needs it but that is another article.

As the child of a single parent i have realized as a grown up what i did not comprehend as a child that something was missing in my growing up, the active male role model that showed me what a man is supposed to look like and how a male contributes to a family for the well being of male and female children.

Some women have had their choices taken from them, while others have rejected the idea as a whole, but if we tell the truth and look at society we would notice the cracks in all the philosophies about rearing emotionally healthy individuals.

Both the male and female are necessary to bring up whole emotionally healthy or close to it socially beneficial individuals. Men contribute to the growth of both the male child and the female child, that is a given. That we choose to ignore.

Anyone can be a sperm donor but it takes a real man to be a father. The same goes for a woman who donates her eggs, it takes a real woman to be a mother. With all the responsibilities that come along with that choice.

And it is a choice, like any other decision we make in this life.

It makes sense that since we need a sperm and an egg to produce a human being that we would need them both to raise one in the best circumstances.

That's a God idea...

Single parent homes are nothing new but bringing up children was a community task. There were always lots of people around taking an active role in the child's life making parents feel secure.

Communities usually consisted of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins as well as neighbors.

Bringing up baby was an important task and every one had a role to play.

Single parent homes usually only came about because of something tragic. Divorce was not encouraged for any reason and was frowned upon.

Single parent homes are usually made up of mothers who have been abandoned or battered.

There are usually several children that are asking all the awkward questions

And depending on demographics, there are usually more than two children that a single mother has to support on her own and in a lot of cases with different fathers.

Even though rearing children in a single parent home can go well and produce productive individuals, it is more likely for single parent children to end up in jail rather than in college, or babies having babies in which scenario grand kids are calling grand mother 'mom', and mom by her given name.

We are seeing the perpetual cycle that keeps certain segments of society bound to habits that keep the poor, poor and causing anguish.

What a sad state of affairs. Especially when we look at how our own grandmothers and great grandmothers fought for their daughters to have other options other than to be wives and baby makers at early ages.

Yet as i listen to some of the "new" social norms, it seems like the world has been flipped on it's head and the things that all those who have gone before fought for becomes muddled one wonders about the course of events as these folks mature.

At the end of the day, i am a firm believer that children need both the male and female in their lives teaching them how to live from each perspective, but both these individual's must choose to be active.

Forgetting their own selfish attitudes and doing what is right for the child they want to rear. Bringing up human beings is not the job for selfish people, because children are not about you.

But i have noticed that those who intentionally choose to do it without a man, are the ones that do it from a selfish point of view.

They want someone to love. They want someone to love them back. Their biological clock is running out. They are missing something after being successful in their careers.

Children expect more, as they should when they are listening to why they were born!!!